Take Your Giant Music Festival and Shove It

2015 just might be the year the major music festivals lost their collective souls.

The lineups for Coachella and Bonnaroo have been released, and they both absolutely suck. Seriously, Coachella is only four hours away and I could probably a finagle a free ticket, and I still won't go. Shoot, I wouldn't go if it was in Glendale.

Now, some music writers would get all deep into the lineup on why it's bad, but forget all that noise, I'm going to start from the top. How are you trying to sell me on Drake being a good headliner for Coachella?

Just look through the amazing headliners that fest has pulled -- Rage Against the Machine, Jay Z, Daft Punk, and Bjork just to name a few -- and putting Drake into that club seems like bad practice.

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15 Things I Learned at Coachella

Ed Carrasco
Coachella ended. What did we learn?

2014 was a year of Coachella firsts for me -- it was my first time camping and not going as a member of the press. It was a series of highs and lows all bundled up into one fun, yet exhausting weekend. I'm still coughing up dust, but I can say this was one of the most fun Coachellas I've attended yet.

I learn something new every year I go to Coachella, so here are my main takeaways from my fourth year at the festival.

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The 2014 Coachella Lineup Has Been Announced -- and It's Good!

Categories: Coachella

Colin Young-Wolff
Let me speak on behalf of everyone by saying, "Whoa, the 2014 Coachella lineup came out early." The news is still pretty fresh -- Coachella sent out the lineup e-mail a little after 9 Wednesday night, causing the Internet to blow up as usual. It's tough to see beyond the headliners -- though you should be pretty damn excited that Neutral Milk Hotel and The Replacements are playing.

Three full days of music can be a little daunting, so we took the liberty of analyzing the lineup for you on a day-by-day basis.

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Was Coachella 2013 Worth the Drive from Phoenix?

coachella sleeper (oliver scherillo)
Oliver Scherillo
Coachella can take a lot out of a person.

If you went to Coachella last weekend, you're probably still sunburned, dehydrated, and physically exhausted. Sleeping in your own bed is a glorious feeling after camping out or crashing on a friend's hotel room floor, but some aches and pains are bound to persist. Fortunately, if you had a good-enough time at the festival, none of that matters. No pain no gain, right?

$349 is a fairly steep price, and all the driving and hanging out in the sun is exhausting. So was seeing Blur and Wu-Tang Clan worth it?

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Worst Idea Ever: Travel Dating Site Calls Coachella a Great First Date

Credit: Nanette Gonzales
"Love Is Strange"
By Katie Bain

Ladies travel site Misstravel.com recently named named Coachella the number one music festival at which to go on a first date. For so many reasons, this is a terrible idea.

Issue number one is that unless you have a day-pass scenario worked out, a first date at Coachella means that you're automatically signing up to spend three days and nights with the person you're hanging with. Call us old fashioned (or maybe just picky), but that's a big commitment to make to someone with whose last name you probably don't even know yet. What if they start to annoy you on the drive to Indio with their constant talking and incessant requests to pull over and find a bathroom? What are you going to do then, besides try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach that the next three days of your life are going to suck?

See also: Coachella 2013 Lineup Announced

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Didn't Buy A Coachella Pass in Time? Good Thing a Bunch of Coachella Bands Are Coming to Phoenix

Sigur Ros is scheduled to perform Friday, April 12, at Comerica Theatre.
As expected, this year's Coachella sold out pretty fast. Scalpers are already selling tickets for upwards of $1,000 for a single pass--for the love of god, please email this person and offer them $200. That's a bit of an anomaly, since most resales are going for around $500, but sometimes a kind soul is nice enough to sell at face value.

Keep in mind that wristbands won't actually be released until March, so it seems a little ridiculous to spend almost double face value to be left empty handed for a couple months. That sounds pretty scammy, to be honest. Our advice is to wait until wristbands get mailed out and the commodity dies down. Tickets will get cheaper, I'm certain of it. I sold a wristband a week before the festival last year and was lucky to get face value for it.

If getting sunburnt and dehydrated next to crazy hipsters isn't your thing, don't fret, plenty of Coachella bands are coming to Phoenix. Check out who in our official Arizona Coachella guide.

See also:

-Stop Hating on the 2013 Coachella Lineup
-Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
-Our Coachella Coverage Archives

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Stop Hating on the 2013 Coachella Lineup

Nanette Gonzales
Ladies at Coachella 2012.
Each year, like many of you, I impatiently wait for the Coachella lineup to be announced. Sometimes it's disappointing (if Daft Punk says they're not touring, chances are they're not playing the festival), but there's always going be a few redeeming artists. At best the lineup will be amazing, and if not, you'll probably sell your tickets only to mope while your friends are having fun at the festival.

See also:

-Coachella 2013 Official Lineup is Posted
-Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
-The Rolling Stones Aren't Playing Coachella, but Some Great Bands (Probably) Are
-Our Coachella Coverage Archives

My point is, stop whining about Phoenix and Red Hot Chili Peppers headlining the festival and read the rest of the lineup. It's actually pretty good.

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Coachella's "Bloom" Video: WTF Does it Mean?


Yesterday afternoon, the home page of the Coachella website changed to a video called "Bloom," which shows plants and art exhibits sprouting from the ground. Some look pretty creepy--did those worm/slug things 30 seconds into the video really just form a structure? At least the rest are fairly cute or interesting, with the balloon kites and glow sharks stirring some fond memories.

"Bloom" is a cool video and all, but what was the point of it? We have a few theories.

See also:

-Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
-The Rolling Stones Aren't Playing Coachella, but Some Great Bands (Probably) Are
-Just Announced: The xx at Marquee Theatre

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The Rolling Stones Aren't Playing Coachella, but Some Great Bands (Probably) Are

Categories: Coachella

Thumbnail image for Rolling-Stones-2012.jpg
Rolling Stones at Coachella 2013? Not gonna happen.
Yesterday, NME revealed the unfortunate news that the rumor that The Rolling Stoneswere headlining Coachella was just that-- a rumor.

"We're not gonna do Coachella 'cos it's too early," Mick Jagger told the magazine. "We're not gonna be ready to go by April, but we're not gonna stop."

Looks like we'll have to keep our fingers crossed that Goldenvoice answers our prayers for David Bowie and/or Daft Punk.

See also:

-Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?

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Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?

Categories: Coachella

ferriswheel2 (325x244).jpg
Michael Lopez

Historically, the Coachella lineup has been announced in January. That means it -- along with the schedules of some artists who, hopefully, will make their way to Phoenix between dates -- should be announced any day now.

There have been a number of fake posters circulating on the Net -- some credible and some downright hilarious. We compiled our own predictions into the only format Coachella festival-goers seem to understand -- our very own fake poster.

See also:
Best of Coachella: Sunday, April 22
Best of Coachella: Saturday, April 21
Best of Coachella 2012: Friday, April 20
James' Tim Booth On Why Coachella Kicks (The Old) Lollapalooza's Ass
Top Ten Awkward Coachella Dance Move GIFs
Complete Coachella 2012 Coverage

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