Hey, Phoenix -- You Need To Start Dancing At Concerts

Categories: Comedy

Why Dance At Shows?

Why dance? Well, not to sound like a Lee Ann Womack song, but life, or at least nightlife, is kind of boring if you don't let loose once in a while. Why do anything at all? You think you look stupid doing it? Ha, the people that REALLY look stupid are the mongoloids standing on the edges looking like stale turds. If the idea of getting excited and having a good time makes you self-conscious, think of how insecure and lame people are that just stand around like steers waiting to be turned into Big Macs. We should laugh at those people, not the ones that groove weird.

Oh, you don't know how to dance or can't dance well? Well, no shit. Neither can I. And the only reason I get to throw stones in this case is because I'm up at the front more often than not, flailing around like a dork and loving it. No, I don't care what anyone thinks of me. Only when I'm exhausted do I sit out, but usually in such cases I will stay at home altogether. If you're not feeling it, maybe you should too. But if you're not shy, then let's learn how to cut a rug.

Do The D-A-N-C-E 1, 2, 3, 4, Fight!

The first step to getting comfortable on the floor is to get over your dumb self. Ever heard of the Spotlight Effect? It's a pretty common form of social anxiety where you totally overestimate how much everyone around you gives a shit. You're gripped with paranoia and self-doubt that everyone is judging your disco when, in reality, everyone is too consumed by their own inner inhibition that they barely notice you. In other words, people are too distracted or drunk or bored or apathetic to give your dancing much thought.

Once you realize that, the world is your oyster in far more areas than just dance hall. And yeah, you'll probably slip up here and there, but the faster you shrug it off, the faster everyone will forget about it. Heck, I've seen kids in wheelchairs more confident than most of the hipsters I keep bumping shoulders with. It also helps to bring friends, but if your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine.

Practice a lot, either in the mirror or in public. Watch the girl in this viral video. She totally sucks at first, but she eventually became so great that she got a brief moment of internet fame! That fame could be yours!


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17 comments
christahartness
christahartness

I hate when people tell others how to respond to music

Jem Jessica Millett
Jem Jessica Millett

Go to any club with a live DJ in Phx and you will see dancing just like Denver. You're compairing apples and oranges here. Live bands are not DJs at dance clubs...

Cheryl Perez
Cheryl Perez

lifes to short, be silly have fun, dance, i have been to alot of concerts and have heard the bands screaming get up and do something.

Kat Johnson-Perea
Kat Johnson-Perea

Honey I dance wherever I am. Concert, club, grocery store, elevator, my car when I'm driving. I don't care where I am. People are too worried about not being 'cool' so they won't dance. I, on the other hand don't give a fuck.

Brett James
Brett James

And I always thought it was just part of Phoenix "culture."

Angie Rivera
Angie Rivera

He had me at "stinking city". Great article.

Lucia Perry
Lucia Perry

Or dancing i. The streets! We need more random, heedless silliness.

Tyler Tippin
Tyler Tippin

Venues should print out copies of this and pass them out to people before the show

Hojuful
Hojuful

Yeah, people who go to shows and just want to pay attention to the music are awful. Thank you for letting those scumbags know that supporting artists and venues with their hollow ticket, drink, and merchandise purchases isn't going to cut it.

Tiadora Pearson
Tiadora Pearson

Too many □'s and chick's too worried about sweating. I am the girl sweating my a$$ off dancing like no one is watching. :)

Pamela Stone Vozza
Pamela Stone Vozza

I dance in clubs all the time but at a show where I paid a crapload of money, I want to actually SEE the show - I don't need some drunk / stoned asshat jumping around ruining it for me!

Fedra Poppen
Fedra Poppen

Your article is very spot on! I don't do clubs anymore but when I came to live here to Phx,11 years ago, I was just very disappointed in the crowd's attitude, What? U like to dance? I'll stay here, fighting the urge to even tap my feet to the beat, stiff as a board, while you look ridiculous dancing and having a good time, ugh, what a loser! When where I come from dancing is so natural,so ingrained in our culture, it's a form of self expression, and boy do we dance,nobody cares how anybody looks dancing, we just let loose and let the beat take over, that's how it should be! Phx youth is too cool for school and they r wasting their time pretending and caring too much what everybody else thinks.

Rachel Callahan
Rachel Callahan

I've thought this so many times... Couldn't be more dead on! Cheers

t3k3l
t3k3l

@Hojuful You sound like you're a lot of fun to be around.

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