10 Tips for Dating a Musician
Tony Woolliscroft Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat World: "Accept wholly who they are"
Ah, musicians. They're a special breed. They find emotional releases in writing melodies, they turn their personal lives into song lyrics, and they have to try to make relationships work despite groupie onslaughts and the airing out of their dirty laundry on stage.
The things that make them attractive -- they're hyper-creative, completely dedicated to their craft and uber-talented -- can also make them hard to be coupled with. But, if you know certain things going into a relationship with a musician, it can make you better prepared to weather the panties thrown on stage, the misery they'll feel when only three people are in the crowd, and the hours on end they'll need to themselves to hone their art.
Here are 10 tips, brought to you by local artists, to help you acclimate to the harsh realities of dating a musician.
10. Remember they're an artist, so they might be on -- or embrace -- emotional roller coasters.
"There is a slim-to-zero chance your musician interest will have their shit together on an emotional level," says Jimmy Eat World singer/guitarist Jim Adkins, getting ready for a world tour this month. "That's why they search themselves to communicate in a creative way. Advice I would give in that situation is what I would tell anyone pursuing a relationship: Get honest with yourself about who you are. Accept wholly who they are. Romanticizing above that is only building expectations. And, expectations are only premeditated resentments."
9. Don't freak out while they're on tour.
"When your man is away on tour, it's probably not crazy backstage parties filled with groupies," says Chan Redfield, singer/guitarist of The Dead Eyes of London, performing Thursday, May 29 at Last Exit Live. "Rest easy knowing he's probably just sitting around waiting. Tour is the definition of 'hurry up and wait.' Waiting in parking lots, waiting to unload your gear, waiting for the sound guy to show up, waiting to play, waiting to be paid, waiting for the five bands before you to stop playing because you just found out you're going on last, which probably looks to be around 1:30 a.m., not 10 p.m. like you were promised."