10 Reasons Music Lovers Should Avoid Urban Outfitters

Categories: Up on the Sun

UO.jpg
Courtesy Flickr user Casey Hugelfink
We all know it, but it's time to show it. Urban Outfitters is a creative wasteland, a shortsighted cul-de-sac of trends and trash culture bent for capital gain -- one large, unthinking slab of cultural masturbation. But, by and large, it's a beast we feed. Like creepers to a drug deal we lurch in, grab what we want and dart out. (Some of their basic clothing isn't half bad, right?).

See also: 10 Best Record Stores in Metro Phoenix

Excuses aside, the inventory is laughable, shamelessly anachronistic and inauthentic. Musically speaking, it's the sort of faux-hippie, yuppie detritus that's fueled a million Dark Side-only Pink Floyd fans. Here are 10 of the worst examples of why UO is a drain on our music-loving souls.

1. It sells turntables that will eat your records.

UOCrosley.jpg
Courtesy of Jonathan Patrick

In fact, it sells only record-destroying players. The Crosley tables -- equipped with uneven speeds and ruinous ceramic cartridges -- aren't really listening tools. They are toys. Cutesy, retro-chic, vinyl-hungry toys. Given that your albums won't last long on that new turntable, it's comforting to know that you can replace your LPs at UO, too. It's a good thing that their prices are fair . . . Oh, gad, wait.

2. Its record prices are an assault on your financial well-being.

UOmadonna.jpg
Courtesy of Jonathan Patrick

Even if you ignore for the moment that its records are terribly treated and poorly stored, UO's prices are astronomical. Singles will cost you upwards of $20. And my goodness, double LPs -- even shitty ones -- can cost you $40. This means if your monthly music budget is $150 (we're allowed to dream), you can still only buy about five albums a month. Those are prison cafeteria-type rates. Yay, hip vinyl trend!

3. Now you can coordinate the Unknown Pleasures artwork with the rest of your outfit.

UOJoy.jpg
Courtesy of Jonathan Patrick

Sweaters and shirts in a dozen colors and styles, all slathered with the iconic Joy Division radio waves, blanket UO's interior. Hell, it's almost the store's corporate symbol at this point. Ian Curtis would be so proud.



Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
21 comments
Blooga
Blooga

Well all those hot topic kids had to have somewhere else to go....

Darren Kissinger
Darren Kissinger

Really thinking who gives a crap and why are you posting this? I think highly of the NT but this seems like your posting this because there's nothing better to post!

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Any uo employee. "Who's Ian Curtis?"

James Kufeldt
James Kufeldt

Call me a heretic but dark side was a ground breaking album. While I dig the psych stuff, most of the music after dark side had no heart and that's coming from gilmour. "We don't need no education." Perfectly illustrates one of the things that went wrong with hippie culture.

Marco Cruz
Marco Cruz

Que es urban outfitters, pora gringos?

Benjamin Pyper
Benjamin Pyper

Never buy vinyl or turntables there. They do have some rad ass shirts sometimes.

Dave Scrod
Dave Scrod

One reason everyone should avoid Urban Outfitters: it fucking sucks.

Aron Burrell
Aron Burrell

I've never shopped there never plan to. Bur what the fuck happened to objective journalism

sahamlin171
sahamlin171

This article is suspiciously lame....why? What do you know about anything you just said?

Jay Substation
Jay Substation

"... is a creative wasteland, a shortsighted cul-de-sac of trends and trash culture bent for capital gain..." cool writing that seems to be right on point

Alan M. Kafton
Alan M. Kafton

Easy solution on the vinyl and vinyl playback. 1) buy your vinyl at Stinkweeds, Tracks-in-wax, Revolver, and the bi-monthly record shows at the Italian-American Club. 2) buy an inexpensive, vintage turntable (and receiver) at Stinkweeds. 3) for a more sophisticated turntable (with free setup), go around the corner and visit Arizona Hi-fi. End of story.

boingo
boingo

What a pretentious bunch of claptrap (I'm talking about this article, not Urban Outfitters).

Now Trending

Phoenix Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...