Now Forming: The Church of Music


STEP TWO: FORMING A NONPROFIT

Have you seen God's W2?

Me neither, because God doesn't have to report any income.

Neither will our little church.

I won't bore you with all the steps, except to say that there's gonna be a ton of paperwork, and a few legal fees, but nothing that should present too big of a problem. As a business owner, I've learned how to jump through bureaucratic hoops like a champ.

On to part three . . .

STEP THREE: BUILDING A CHURCH

Now that we've gotten past the formalities, this is the fun part. Building a church where we can all get together and share our love of music.

Find a place to worship. Like I said, name your venue. From your studio apartment to Madison Square Garden, music retains its power (although with all due respect to your apartment, I prefer MSG), so it doesn't really matter where we worship it.

Develop a compelling message. That's the beauty of being the Reverend Record Store Geek . . . I don't have to have a message. In fact, there doesn't have to be a complicit message at all. Music is the message within itself.

Listen to Miles Davis' "So What" (or any song that takes you away from your day-to-day thoughts). That is the message.

Of course, I'll be glad to do sermons if anyone would like. Maybe something like "Who's the best Stones guitarist? Mick, Brian, or Ronnie?"

Now that's something I'd like to see on the street sign.

Consider Joining a District Office in Your Denomination. My old boss at Zia, founder Brad Singer, used to preach to us about Marx's quote (Groucho, not Karl): "I wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member." Real wisdom from a true rebel. We'll skip the district office and just do our own thing.

Establish Your Unique Presence with the Community. I guarantee you, this won't be like any other church in town.

We aren't promising you a thing about this life or beyond. We don't have a deity that will be watching over you. You don't have to believe. We don't even care if you join.

We are just going to play some tunes and have some fun.

Include a time for fellowship and get to know your members. Wow, it just keeps getting funner. Turns out I've been doing this for years, so why not make it official? You and I and whoever else can each bring a six pack and a handful of albums, and we'll fellowship all night. Nothing helps you get to know your members like that sort of behavior.

That's it. No more steps.

Dad, There's a Church of Music Guy at the Door

Sounds like we are on our way, huh?

My spirit is jumping at the thought of it.

The Church of Music. It could do a lot of good in this crazy mixed up world.

Lord knows (pun intended) this much, if Governor Brewer doesn't veto this stupid bill, we'll be free to do whatever we want in Arizona.

Steve Wiley is Up on the Sun's resident Record Store Geek and Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood.


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7 comments
Jukes
Jukes

How about turning a bar somewhere into the Church of Cigarettes.

james8394
james8394

I could be there part time but certain times of the year it would conflict with the sunday morning worship of NFL. That church also has sacramental beer.


Speculation, of course, but I think (is believe proper in this context?), had he lived, Brian Jones would have been a better player than Keith or Ron, though he probably would not have stayed with the Stones. Never know, though I'd hate to see it become a ford vs. chevy, mac/pc kind of debate.  

Mandi Kimes
Mandi Kimes

So, when/where is the first church service?

valleynative
valleynative topcommenter

The important point here is that the pinheads who are pushing this bill pretty clearly believe that there is only one religion that really matters.

Sure, there are some minor variations that are still basically the same, because they believe in Jesus, and then there are the Jews, who at least believe in the same god, but those others aren't really "religions", in their minds.  

They're really just "other cultures", which is just another way of saying that they're somehow more primitive than us, and just waiting to be converted to "real religion".


This law isn't really intended to protect them, of course.  They never even gave that much consideration and would be outraged if somebody tried to use this decent Christian law to promote some other value.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@valleynative  


Everyone who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, was to be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.  -- 2 Chronicles 15:13

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