The 5 Music Halloween Costumes Your Friends Already Hate

Categories: It's 2013, Lists

Miley Cyrus Robin Thicke VMA Costume
You can buy this at Yandy, if you're not convinced.
Your friends hate your Halloween costume idea. I'm not a mindreader or anything, but I'm just pretty sure that's the case if you're going in any pop cultural direction for this year's festivities, particularly pop music.

It isn't that this year's music memes are especially egregious, although one rises above the pack and then dives far, far below it -- it's that the sold-by date for memes, the window in which people will be impressed by your ability to re-create the thing they saw on TV, gets shorter every year. There's just too much of it already -- once a joke emerges, Twitter is relentless in beating it until there's nothing left except a trail of desiccated Will Ferrell Parody accounts.

I don't know what your idea is, in particular, but here are five you absolutely must avoid.

5. Patrice Wilson in a panda costume


The first time you see an outsider artist, it's charming because you're watching their unfiltered ideas of what pop stardom looks like. A friend of mine once told me he loved the Beach Boys' Love You because it was '70s Brian Wilson's ridiculous best guess at what a normal rock 'n' roll album sounded like.

Rebecca Black's "Friday" was great for similar reasons -- it was like a pop song and video created by a very well-meaning, not-quite-perceptive-enough robot who'd watched a lot of MTV but never met a human being. Patrice Wilson, the rapper/svengali in the video, has since attempted to parlay that first success into others, but the magic is gone -- now he knows just what people thought was so funny on accident, and he's determined to make it funny on purpose.

The latest (and arguably most successful) follow-up is "Chinese Food," which is barely a song at all and features Wilson's wax-Usher-statue face inside a panda costume, because the theme here is borderline racism. All the joy and serendipity is gone, replaced by -- well, Patrice Wilson in a panda costume. It's like if Neutral Milk Hotel's third album had been about another long-dead 14-year-old girl.

Important thing to keep in mind: Your friends probably haven't seen this video, and you're going to keep having to explain where the rest of your costume is. Forget the meme, and just be a lazy old panda -- pandas are adorably lazy. (It's not about race.)

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4 comments
James L. Crabtree
James L. Crabtree

I have said it once and I will say it again: I am tolerant of one's politics or religion or lack of religion. However, you have to be a complete moron to like Miley Cyrus.

Greg Guerrero
Greg Guerrero

It would be nice to have a girl backing it up all night with her tongue hanging out

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