Mom's Rock 'n' Roll "Warning Book" Backfired
The Glorious "Glossary of Rock Groups"
If you were really bad, at least in Bob's righteous opinion, you made the glossary. My favorite part of the book. Truth be told, I'm not sure I even actually read the preachy book itself. I started reading the Glossary of Rock Groups and that was all I needed.
It was the very first place I looked when Buddha brought it in.
The glossary was an alphabetized list of bands and artists, and it included a synopsis of each band's sins. A veritable cornucopia of musical evil.
And it turns out that almost everybody in rock was evil.
Bob pontificated about groups I was familiar with like Boston (pot, loud shows), Aerosmith (androgynous lead singer, profane lyrics), and The Beatles (altering the morals of the Western World, literally).
He also warned of groups that I thought of as puppy stuff, like the Beach Boys (LSD, transcendental meditation), Abba (no, really, they were "living together in open fornication"), and the Bee Gees (songs of evil spirits, pornographic drawings)
Who knew Pat Benatar (a "90-pound sex kitten" who sings "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" with "sadomasochistic sauciness") and Journey (their fans come to concerts with a "pill and a joint") were so bad? Who knew Steven Tyler was saying "kitty in the middle" (let alone what it meant)?
Who knew that:
"The Christian teenager who nostalgically bounces to 'Surfin U.S.A.' should remember that the fame of the Beach Boys was a launching pad for the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's introduction of TM and occultic mysticism into the mainstream of America"?
Now I did too. Awesome.