Lady Gaga's Right: Computer Speakers Are Making Your Favorite Music Worse

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Maria Vassett
As a general rule, I don't like to be lectured by Lady Gaga. This is not to say that I haven't earned a lecture, since she's a rich and famous superstar who's touched millions of kids who feel sad and alone and I'm a guy who listens to episodes of Fibber McGee and Molly in the shower -- just that I don't enjoy the prospect. But even I have to admit that her recent tweets begging those sad-and-alone-feeling fans of hers to not listen to ARTPOP on computer speakers, where 99 percent of the world's recorded music is now heard, are dead on.

It's not that "SPEAKERS ON YOUR COMPUTER are NOT ACCEPTABLE." It's just that crappy laptop speakers are a terrible way to hear music you love, or want to love, for the first time.

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I'll admit to the ultimate laptop-speaker sin, just to get us started: The first time I heard Pet Sounds, I was playing 128 kbps files from the iTunes Store (back when they were DRM'd) on my Powerbook G4.

I loved it, luckily. But if you're wondering how much nuance 2005-era laptop speakers can transmit, try listening to "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times" with your hands over your speakers, or with your headphones a few inches away from your ears. (Or on your 2005-era laptop, I guess.)

It's not a great experience. But the real problem comes when the album in question isn't a canonical rock classic with a fascinating backstory. What happens when your first listen of a really-pretty-good album is on your laptop, while you're reading Buzzfeed and trying to get some work done?

I had this problem most recently with Modern Vampires of the City, Vampire Weekend's third -- and most sedate, least immediate -- album; after a few listens I found myself a little bored by anything that wasn't "Diane Young."

But those few listens had all come while I was in my office, via a pair of earbuds that I may or may not have gotten from the magazine pocket of a Frontier Airlines plane.

It's important to maintain some perspective here -- arguments about the sound qualities of vinyl aside, in terms of sound fidelity we're way ahead of the setups with which most of the classics were originally heard. We're not using AM radio or Geo Metro cassette decks.

But that leads us to the other thing that's dangerous about computer speakers: Just how easy it is to play any song you want on them.

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5 comments
1wayfaringpilgrim
1wayfaringpilgrim

You could listen to Lady GooGoo's music on a high dollar system and still be unimpressed . . . so I've been told.

Drew Blank
Drew Blank

Back in my day, we listened "Satisfaction" on a transistor radio with one freaking ear bud. And we liked it. We loved it.

Wardy Miller
Wardy Miller

Meat Suit = No credibility. And as a computer geek that is how I have been listening to music since 1999, and my hearing is so shot for Nugent/AC-DC concerts the fact I can hear anything is awesome. If I want all the nuances, that's why I have head phones.

Ed Masley
Ed Masley

Favorite line: "she's a rich and famous superstar who's touched millions of kids who feel sad and alone and I'm a guy who listens to episodes of Fibber McGee and Molly in the shower."

valleynative
valleynative topcommenter

Anybody remember when most of us listened to almost all of our favorite music on transistor radios?


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