The Real Coachella - Trunk Space - 4/20/2013

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Dave Driscoll
Ryan Avery, wearing a safari hat, ran around with a megaphone. JRC turned on a record player and asked the crowd to arrange themselves from shortest to tallest. Then he grabbed random people, spun them around three times, put a cardboard box over their heads, and had them hit a Strawberry Shortcake piñata filled with plastic vegetables.

That's how the ninth annual Real Coachella began.

The first band to open up the festivities was Local Natives, who screamed words like "grocery store!" in between squalls of noise. "Grimes" played next -- the Real Grimes, it turns out, was the drummer of Fathers Day, who proved to be a one-man-band extraordinaire. He played the guitar, piano, drums, and sang simultaneously, through a looping pedal. It was one of the quieter acts of the night, and the crowd took the opportunity to calm itself down.

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Dave Driscoll
The Real Grimes

Kiss and Make Up performed outside in the parking lot in front of their jeep. Before their first song, they announced, "This song is about being in too many ska bands." Several members wore lampshades on their heads. The lead singer wore a rasta hat with dreadlocks, played the saxophone, and -- lacking a microphone, asked several women from the crowd to hold a megaphone in front of him while he sang. They had a hype man who did the splits, jumped on the jeep, and did an impressive handstand to rev up the crowd, and the energy was infectious. As their set was ending, they said, "There is no god, and nothing happens when you die; so go out and make a new friend today!"

The dating auction served as an intermission, as well as a pizza-delivery fundraiser for hungry Real Coachella attendees. Eligible young bachelors were chosen before the night, and Patti served as the host of the event. Her harrassment of non-bidders made her one of the most popular acts of the night. She was like the Vanna White of the Real Coachella, if Vanna White made really vulgar jokes and could make a whole room of Trunk Spacer's laugh.

The bachelors were mostly auctioned off to men in the crowd who just wanted to make sure there would be pizza later, but one lady in particular bet on three men, and Patti said, "C'mon! Somebody help her, this lady is not going to be able to pay her rent!"

Serene Dominic and The Gem Seekers ran onstage with the prediction that in the future, because of Record Store Day's popularity, all the indie record stores would become corporate stores, and soon people would take to selling records on stands in the streets.

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