Swedish House Mafia Kicks Off Ultra 2013, "F#$%s Miami in the Pussy"

Categories: Ultra 2013

Photo by George Martinez

What's the most epic come-on in the history of Scandinavian EDM?

Duh. "We're gonna fuck this party in the pussy!," as uttered by Swedish House Mafia, when Sebastian Ingrosso, Steve Angello, and Axwell were still young, up-and-coming electronic dance music studs.

Today, though, the SHM dudes are superfamous. A little more mature. And they're preparing to hump out to pasture. So they've toned down the explicitness of their advance. Especially when trying to get into our pants in public. Like, say, at Ultra Music Festival 2013 in front of a 100,000 people.

Photo by George Martinez

Last night, headlining the opening night of Ultra's inaugural two-weekend, Ingrosso, Angello, and Axwell climbed up into a massive multi-tiered LED stage setup for their second-to-last show ever. It was dark. It was inviting. And it was obvious that things were gonna get intense.

Looking sexy-casual in their usual snug t-shirts and artfully worn jeans, the Mafia men hopped atop the DJ booth as UMF's main stage exploded with light. They triumphantly waved to a writhing mass of ecstatic, Dayglo-clad, barely-legal groupies. They tossed off a few fist-pumps for the guys. And then they eased into some thumping mood music, including "Greyhound" and "Euphoria."

Photo by George Martinez

"How you feel, Miami?" Ingrosso asked. And the Ultra group scene erupted in lusty screams.

There were fireworks and lazers as ravers celebrated their penultimate evening with Swedish House Mafia by heaving armfuls of glowsticks into the air. Hippie-ish EDM chicks sat in the grass, hugging and puffing on marijuana cigarettes. A unicorn bro galloped and posed for pictures. Spring breakers scrambled up into the top branches of trees decorated with pulsating LED icicles. And a party boy dressed like some kinda Mouseketeer in a sex club cried.

"Turn on your hearts," the SHM dudes demanded. "And turn off your brains, people."

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