Mars Volta Fight: Who'd Win -- Bosnian Rainbows or Anywhere?

Categories: Weird

MarsV240113.jpg
What would happen if Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez got violent?
Have you had you're eyes glued to the psychedelic prog-rock message boards? If not, maybe you missed the news that The Mars Volta broke up, due in large part to lead guitarist Omar Rodriguez-Lopez's focus on his other band, Bosnian Rainbows. But you probably didn't miss the news, because The Mars Volta gets a lot of mainstream attention, despite releasing sprawling, massive progressive rock albums with impossible to pronounce song titles and weirdo album art.

You see, after Volta released its sixth album, Noctourniquet, last year, the El Paso-based progressive rock group went on hiatus instead of on tour. This made TMV's other half, Cedric Bixler-Zavala, feel pretty miffed, so he publicly quit (by publicly, I mean he posted on Twitter) and effectively broke up the band after an 11-year run, asking, "What am I suppose to do be some progressive house wife that's cool with watching their partner go fuck other bands?"

But hey -- Zavala has his own side-project with Mike Watt of fIREHOSE and Christian Eric Beaulieu of Triclops! It's called Anywhere and they released a self-titled album last year.

This brings us the very important question for us bloodthirsty journalists - who would win in a fight, Bosnian Rainbows or Anywhere? BR don't have an album out until this summer, so we'll only have a few YouTube clips to go off, but we'll try to make this as fair as possible. Alright, let's dive in.

Weirdest Names

Anywhere loses points for a pretty bland band name (sounds like they would play "soul-searching alt country" about life on the road) not to mention, its album is self-titled (which is just plain lazy, in my opinion.) Bosnian Rainbows may have a kickass, psychedelic group moniker, but its songs are called things like "Torn Maps" and "Turtle Neck." Yawn. Plus, c'mon, "Kiss My Brown Eye"? What, are you The Bloodhound Gang now?

How can that compete with shit like "Infrared Moses" or "Khamsin"? Just like with the Mars Volta, At The Drive-In, or any of Omar's side projects, if I don't have to Google it to understand it, it's not cool.

Winner: Anywhere

Longest Song Lengths

One main reason fans fell in love with The Mars Volta was its stubborn refusal to be radio friendly, "The Widow" aside. I like songs that punch me in the balls and take me on a wailing ambulance ride through certain levels of hell. Few men are as talented at constructing songs like that as Oma is.

Yet, for Bosnian Rainbows, he wanted more concise, to the point songs. That isn't to say they're bad, they just aren't monsters, "Turtle Neck," being the one exception.

Anywhere, on the other hand, only has three songs that exceed six minutes. This isn't impressive, but they still take the gold just for having more.

Winner: Anywhere



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