Intended Zing: Maynard James Keenan Would Like You To Stop Effin' Around
There seems to be an epidemic raging out there. A whole lot of people are calling
themselves professionals who really have no business doing so. I'm blessed. I'm surrounded by knowledgeable, experienced craftsmen. Tasting room staff, plumbers,
masons, electricians, journalists, engineers, programmers, etc. But they are the exception, as far as I can tell. The norm is to accept mediocrity. For these extras on the set, it's almost as if their praise and subsequent path came from their whining rather than doing.
Their skill is squeaking and moaning in order to get their way. Which is fine with
me. It makes for easier targets. When the world goes sideways, these same helpless
and starving extras, also known as "Zombies," will instinctively stumble their way
past San Bernardino and across the desert toward the hoarders and doers, also known
as farmers. Plenty of headshots to be taken during the harvest down time. We call this
pre-apocalypse practice.
A suggestion (and again, this is just one man's opinion): If you're going to take money
for doing something, try and effing learn how to do it well. Otherwise, quit effing wasting
all our effing time. Otherwise, I'll see you in the crosshairs, you squeaky eff.
(Out of respect for this publication and its investors, I have used the socially acceptable
term "effing" in the above paragraph in place of that wonderfully trailer-trash term we fear
so much. We, the Sybil-equivalent authors, highly suggest you go back and read the
paragraph aloud with the proper verbiage in place. It will give the piece the intended oomph, zing, and rage it is currently missing and desperately deserves.)
Chicken Little out.
Follow Maynard James Keenan on Twitter: @caduceuscellars, @mjkeenan, @puscifer. Read more of Maynard James Keenan's columns at Up on the Sun.
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