Your Holiday Heavy Metal Gift Guide
What's the most metal gift you've ever received? I can think of several that stick out: Led Zeppelin vinyl, a miniature model of Dimebag Darrell's Razorback lightning bolt guitar, spike-bedecked high heels that would make a dominatrix envious, a stripper pole paired with a handle of whiskey.
Merry KISSmas, from, uh, KISS and Creem Magazine.
But I'll admit: shopping for metalheads isn't easy. So for this week's Metal Mondays installment, I thought a handy list might be in order. That's right, I actually compiled the ultimate guide of sweet gifts for shredders, thrashers, and moshers. (Or maybe you just really want to scare the hell out of someone with a gift. Trust me, if you want to get that annoying chick to stop calling you, nothing says "red flag" like a documentary of satanic black metal.)
So get out your gift-list for all the cool people you know -- here's to your "antichrist"-mas shopping this December.
Heavy Metal Wines
Several bands and rock/metal musicians have branched out from hard liquor and PBR to the vineyard. Well, for some there's no hope -- we know Sammy Hagar will never stop swilling tequila. But when it comes to vino and combining metal music and booze, the only word I can think of is "sold."
Try Slayer's Reign in Blood Cabernet Sauvignon (dark berry, oak and spicy notes) that comes in a coffin. If your metal head loves to cook, might as well get them the blood-stained Slayer barbecue apron as well.
loudwire The only thing Slayer talkes about drinking is blood.
Tool's Maynard James Keenan currently leads the dedicated staff at Merkin Vineyards and the associated winery, Caduceus Cellars. Grab the Caduceus Sancha, a smooth light red that's 14% alcohol. The fact that it's a local Arizona gift makes it the perfect present for out-of-towners, as well.
And AC/DC's Back in Black Shiraz will have the band's "Have a Drink on Me" tune repeating in your head. But keep it to one bottle at a time; you definitely don't want to end up like original lead singer Bon Scott's, whose 1980 death certificate states his cause of death as "acute alcohol poisoning and death by misadventure."
Marilyn Manson's "Mansinthe"
Ahh..what could be better for heavy metal parents then finally getting your little rugrats in bed, kicking back on the couch, and having a nice chilled glass of Marilyn Manson's absinthe? It may not be as pure and straight-up as Manson would like it to be--you gotta get to Prague of the Czech Republic for that--but it's a close second.
Just make sure the kiddies are sound asleep; they may start to wonder why the green fairy doesn't leave them gifts like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. Then you'll really have some explaining to do.