What Is "Seapunk," and What Did Rihanna and Azealia Banks Do To It?

Categories: Weird

So why does it come across like you're all miffed you're not getting a piece of the pie? If you were singing lameass songs about diamonds in front of Ecco The Dolphin screensavers on NBC primetime, this would be a different story, wouldn't it? But the more you complain, the more you can share some of that #seapunk spotlight. And it's not exactly like Diplo is poor; The Mad Decent chief commissioned a seapunk vid from Lil Internet last year.

Of course, not everyone acts like their dreams are being plagiarized. Jerome LOL, who generated the nifty video for his band LOL Boys' song "123" said, "No one owns the 90s" and "Internet is Culture's Playground it's the Best. Stay Posi." [sic sic sic] Even Lil Internet is chill with the idea pilfering. But is it really that great of an idea to begin with?

I actually think #seapunk is pretty neato. It's trippy, it's crappy, it's fun. Then again, I'm a big fan of found footage nonsense like Everything Is Terrible and I still drunkenly watch VHS from time to time. I'm what's known as a "hipster fuck" or a "sentimental dork" or just a "moron." But I wouldn't give this oceanic obsession a stupid name or call it a movement, nor would I lament it's so-called "theft" by mainstream artists because that's pretty much all they do anyway and it only counts when it's original to begin with.

LOL Boys' "123."

The William Gibson quote used by @lilgovernment in the aforementioned Noisey article does sum up the "movement" quite nicely: "Fads swept the youth of the Sprawl at the speed of light; entire subcultures could rise overnight, thrive for a dozen weeks, and then vanish utterly." This is exactly what Seapunk is. Please, let's not ask for more. This begets the level of idiocy from the Annoying Facebook Girl types who post "only a '90s kid would understand this..."

Besides, seapunk ain't really a subgenre of electronic music, despite what Wikipedia claims, because seapunk doesn't add anything to EDM's musical aesthetic. It doesn't sound any different from any other EDM stuff. It's not like there are actually dolphin squeaks used as backing beats or something. Unlike other internet meme genres that accidentally became serious like witch house and trap muzik, seapunk is merely just a turquoise fashion statement.

It ain't really punk, either. Sure, it's got that DIY flair, but photoshopping a pixilated sea cow and posting it to Tumblr isn't quite on par with The Sex Pistols, spiking a Mohawk or ironing anarchist symbols to your leather jacket. If anything, seapunk is more aquakitsch.

I know exactly what some people will say: What cultural movements have you started?

Admittedly, none, if you're really convinced this hashtag nonsense counts as relevancy. In the approximately two weeks it takes for this cultural stain to "vanish utterly," something even more lame will inevitably take its place. But if all it takes to change pop culture is to rip off animated Angelfire graphics, wear a SpongeBob t-shirt and then tweet/twat about my own genius, I can do that. I call dibs on #CivilWarReenactmentThrashMetal. Or how about, #EgyptianAcidJazz? Wait, I got it: #ButterflyDubstep, or #Butterstep for short. I can't wait till Lady Gaga rips that one off.

Troy Farah has more mindless self-indulgence at his website, troyfarah.com

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The author of this article is as self-indulgent as the idiots who think 3 videos and a hashtag constitutes a "cultural movement."


 @LegitQuestions He says that himself in the article. Also, we're all self-indulgent. Welcome to the Millenial Age. Thanks for your self-indulgent comment.

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