Five Songs To Prepare You For Black Friday

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It's Black Friday: WE SO EXCITED.
It's that time of year again--once you wake up from your tryptophan-induced food coma on Thanksgiving evening, it's time to grab a blanket and a lawn chair to camp out for Black Friday. Some wackos are already waiting in much for enjoying Turkey Day.

If killer deals on electronics are what you're thankful for this year, listen to these five songs while you're shivering in line and celebrating a true American tradition: relentless, uncompromising consumerism.

Rebecca Black, "Friday"

Of the many songs about Fridays, this best sums up the consumer holiday. For one, it's annoying as hell, yet it seems to be everywhere. Like this song, folks may swear that they'll avoid Black Friday deals this year, but just as they won't admit to their friends that they like this song, they'll spend their Thanksgiving lurking outside of Best Buy. You may be able to use this song to drive other folks crazy in line so you can jump up a spot or two, but I can't guarantee your safety.

The Smiths, "Panic"

YouTube videos of shopping center stampedes should be enough of a deterrent to stay home, but no. Most of these folks would be willing to hang the DJ (or the clerk, whatever) just to get some good deals.

It also begs the question of whether Morrissey is a Best Buy or a Fry's Electronics kind of guy.

Madonna, "Material Girl"

"We are living in a material world and I am a material girl."
Because materialism is more important than Thanksgiving, duh.

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Gerry Valenzuela
Gerry Valenzuela

All of you that wake up at four tomorrow or worse those of you who aren't sleeping tonight or already waiting in line for some black friday shopping, you are a stupid crazy impressionable loser. What just because it's on TV you have to do it. Lame. Lame. Lame. You are the same people that wait overnight to see a fucking movie or get a krispy kreme donut. Get on your knees and thank god that you still have a job.

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