Why Arizona?

Maynard_column .jpg
Since the New Times is moving this column to coincide with the print edition, I thought I'd take a moment to re-introduce myself and give you a peek into why I've resided in Arizona for the past 17 years. It has a little to do with the glowing gray area between synchronicity and fate. By this I mean something that goes beyond a mere coincidence. I used to believe that if I followed these events, these aligned moments, there would be a pot of gold at the end, or some sort of inner circle reward. But I've come to understand that these glowing little gray-area moments are themselves the reward. It's the Universe giving you a tickle. An acknowledgment that you are in fact wide awake. Paying attention.


See also: Maynard is Moving To Wednesday
See also: What is Puscifer?
See also: Maynard James Keenan: Rochambeau Myself
See also: Maynard James Keenan: These Are The "End of Days"
See also: Maynard James Keenan: Up on the Sun's New Columnist

See also: Maynard James Keenan (Puscifer, Tool, A Perfect Circle) on The Importance of Keeping It Local

I was born an only child on the distant and awkward planet known as Akron/Canton, Ohio. (Also germinated/hatched here are the infamous fellow time and space travelers known to you as Devo, Chrissy Hynde, Brian Warner a.k.a. Marilyn Manson, Dan Auerbach, Dave Grohl, Glen Buxton -- the list goes on and on.)
 
Only those of you who were an only child can truly understand this. For us, in any given conversation, there are at least two simultaneous conversations occurring. There's audible conversation, and then there's the conversation or conversations going on inside your head. As a young child with no siblings, I created imaginary friends and entire worlds where they lived and I visited. They were my inner voice and dialogue.
 
I lived in a small rural house from kindergarten to eighth grade. But for some reason, our local education system kept shuffling students from school to school. So although I lived in that same house for 10 years, I went to five different schools. The glass-half-empty view of this is one of isolation. Every time I showed up to a new school, I had to find a way to fit in with a group of strangers that had been going to school together their whole lives. The glass-half-full version of this is independence. I wasn't subjected to the hierarchy that had been established among these lifelong peers. I wasn't pigeonholed into some established social order. And being an only child, I brought my friends with me. All of whom resided in my head. And any tough decisions I had to make were made by MY set of peers, all with the same or similar agenda, as opposed to advice provided by the rotating local peer group, each with their own set of baggage or irrelevant perspectives based on completely different experiences. This helped me develop my instincts and intuition - and over time, taught me to trust them. No outside noise can penetrate a solid sense of self-trust.
 
Skipping through all the stuff that will someday appear in my biography, we arrive at my journey toward Arizona.


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52 comments
namismokeninja
namismokeninja

Establishing relationships with people and being ripped away from them over and over. Painful and hardening.

Sherry Jadean Chobot
Sherry Jadean Chobot

he claimed to have a dream and one day his friend took him to this town and he knew that was home or at least thats what he says in interviews

misspuscifer
misspuscifer

Love your entries. Look forward to the next.

Holly PaiGe
Holly PaiGe

Ha ha Maynard said tickle. :) gray tickle. I love you dude :)

danehodgson
danehodgson

While I'm generally always excited to read/listen to your words, I felt like this week's post was just a recycle of things you've already stated in past interviews, most notably in the documentary Blood into Wine (which I rather enjoyed). It would be nice to hear something new. Or maybe I'm being too nearsighted in my perspective. Perhaps I should acknowledge that the possibility exists that there's many others that haven't. But to be realistic about the situation, a good majority of the people coming to read your bi-weekly thoughts are probably already EXTREMELY well acquainted with you. I'm suggesting you could be doing a little more with these posts. On a more positive note, in reference to something you stated in this week's article, and while I won't get my hopes on it ever seeing the light of day, I, and many more, would love to read your autobiography. Take care.

 

fenderdude75126
fenderdude75126

Crazybob, Hey guys, food for thought. You ever think that ole BloodEagle might really be MJK, just "fucking with you."

masimpson86
masimpson86

BloodEagle, for real dude. You're on here bashing someone you've never even met, let alone probably one of the greatest artists this world has seen in quite some time.  Show some respect.

jenlaird729
jenlaird729

I completely understand the panic part. After visiting Jerome for the first time this year, drawn up there by the promise of amazing vino, I have felt like I don't belong anywhere else. I get almost frantic to return. My body may be elsewhere but I know where my heart is. I am everyday planning ways to be there permanently. Someday...

MrDuke
MrDuke

Right on Maynard. Felt the same way when I first came to Phoenix/AZ. Been here 14 years and there's is no going back. I'm looking to retreat further into the hill country as my own pre-apocalypse itch is pushing me to vacate massed humanity. The verde valley is an option. Any openings at vineyard? 

Surgtechie
Surgtechie

I work around mostly cocky surgeons, some are as good as they think, some are not. Some have told me about their childhood, some have not. You have made me think of that. As cocky as they may be they are still truly vulnerable inside. We can all take a magnificant trip inside our own heads that make us land right where we belong or we can pass it up never knowing what did or did not exist in the first place. Some mumbo jumbo for you. 

MotherRosetta
MotherRosetta

I am impressed that you have opened up a peep hole into your normally private life. My oldest son has several times expressed the wish that he could have been an only child. He has never gone into the reason(s) why and when he's ready to tell me I will listen.

I can tell you that being the seventh of nine children it's not always true that the only child have their friends inside their head. Dependant upon the child's home life even one of many can become a loner, mistrusting of others. Of course, for me, that comes from having moved nearly 40 times in the first 32 years of my life. But there is always some good to come from life situations. You develop a keener sense of "people reading". Almost an animal instinct. William Glasser once said, "What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with what we are today." No truer words were spoken.

Keep your music coming and I look forward to reading your biography one of these days.

emaly1111
emaly1111

been working on that biography for awhile?.... yes please!

but, so, if my recurring dream is being taken to and fro on the ferry from the island whence I came.... this must be a universal message to ride the wave of transformation (to or from, to or from?) wait, where am I...? what year is this? *cue melty guitar 

humanidee
humanidee

There's so much negativity about Maynard, it makes me sick. TOOL Fags are the worst fans ever. Selfish, critical bastards. Great article Nardo, much like your speech but with even more to see and feel. I'll preorder that biography, hope it's got lots of glossy photos too :P

CarterZinn
CarterZinn

@puscifer thanks again good sir. Always a great, thought provoking read.

nickkroon70
nickkroon70

So..  let me see if I am understanding this correctly, being an only child stimulates a need to listen to voices within? I grew up alone for the first 9 years of my life and have been very aware of the voices of nature around me.  (those and certain imaginary characters also I have to admit) This isn't very handy growing up surrounded by catholics I can tell you, I didn't realize what it was I was aware of until I was 32(!)

Maybe this development is stimulated as there are no distractions from other siblings around who demand that you communicate in the 'conventional'  way.

Interesting that a dream made you move.  If I listen to my dreams making me move, it will be to southern France, which is only a 12 hour drive for me, but that would also mean that the human condition has taken a turn for the worse and everything has gone to hell in a hand basket!

Thanks for sharing this personal thing, it did make me feel a little less like an alien baby left behind by accident.

Scotty beam me up!

 

hawkjennings
hawkjennings

@puscifer I just wanted to say thanks for all that you do. Your music, your wine, all of it. Thank you.

roroism2
roroism2

ha!

kind regards (and a bunch of big thank yous) from an only child.

some of these voices in my head would sound rather familiar...

Brad Kingsley
Brad Kingsley

if we all followed our dreams I think we would all be better off, too many of us making excuses that hold ourselves back from a true chance of happiness

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

So let's see.

 

Only only children have an internal dialogue when they're talking to people.

 

Maynard believes that he has such a profound sense of self awareness that he is able to resonate with cosmic will; maybe that's why he's 'hostile, so impersonal.'

 

He is so deeply consumed by his own sense of self-importance that he believes the universe is willing to trangress its own belief system -- to be hostile and impersonal -- so that it can communicate with Maynard on a personal level via 'signs' and 'dreams' and, no doubt, other religious communication systems.

 

Specious stuff, like.

uktoby_k
uktoby_k

completely crazy...i just booked a flight on sunday night from london to phoenix, arrived monday, totally spontaneous, following a strong feeling. and now, dude just posts this up...i didn't even realize that maynard lives in arizona..the universe and energy are incredible things

LunasNoir
LunasNoir

Great piece.  Totally captures the dichotomy of developing oneself in this world as an only child: truly beholden to no one, quietly defying the usual social expectations of compliance, submission to authority, and a whole slew of other things that seem requisite for "peaceful existence" to the Normies.  I grew up the same way as you, with a heaping side dish of Baptist Fundamentalist parents who were so terrified of the sin lurking around every corner, we fled to a different locale (and life) on an annual basis.  Intuition was absolutely rejected in their belief system, so I had to keep my smiles inside as I consistently felt those little tickles by the universe as life events unfolded, and reveled in the glowing gray areas that my guardians' soul-crushing "faith" could not accept.My verdict?  The same as yours, MJ.  Isolation in youth leads to self-trust in the latter years.  What saddens me is that even when that self-trust is manifested in the most modest and respectful way, folks still get their knickers in a twist.  In American society, we're not supposed to be emotionally independent and psychologically self-kept: it's an affront to the Dr. Phil-watching, prescription antidepressant-swallowing masses.   I wouldn't trade my wonky childhood and young adulthood for anything if it means I have to give up the incessant creativity and confidence that, well, kinda defines who I am and what I am to be.

RealRatliff
RealRatliff

@puscifer what is a puscifer its for making babies silly

xraiderray
xraiderray

This is so awesome of a real story of how a person is in tune with the insights. :D Helps a lot, I say. 'cause this puts more grounding to my mind in a real perspective.  Thanks for sharing Chicken Little.

jakegraham287
jakegraham287

I was brought up in isolation, never getting close to anyone, my brother who came later, and I fabricated our own worlds.  I was never the same person throughout the week. One day a cowboy, the next a superhero, and so on. When I moved to Arizona, on a whim, I was home.  I never felt so inspired, the heat, the quiet of the desert, the wildlife undeterred by human infiltration, all of these outcasts from the East coast.... My heart broke when my ex-wife (ex for this reason), up-rooted me and we moved back to Lancaster, PA. Her home.  Now, I'm putting the pieces back together, after enduring years of trauma, illness, addiction, loss, and so forth. My goal: move back as quickly as possible. No partner, no friends; just me and my cats. I can't wait.

 

rockiesfever
rockiesfever

 @KB2 this comment doesnt even speak to the real science here. If sea turtles keep eating jellyfish where will we be? Answer the fucking question hippy!

MotherRosetta
MotherRosetta

 @danehodgson

 You need to read more carefully:  "Since the New Times is moving this column to coincide with the print edition, I thought I'd take a moment to re-introduce myself and give you a peek into why I've resided in Arizona for the past 17 years."  Note the word "re-introduce". I, for one, am enjoying his blog and think he's doing fine.

I would also like to ask how stating, "...and while I won't get my hopes on it ever seeing the light of day..." is a positive note?  Only a little constructive criticism. Have a good day.

g.mike47
g.mike47

Jealous Fuck..just because someone shows you a glimmer doesnt mean you know everything about them...u obviously have resentment to hate someone u don't know...he is painting pictures...just because he uses the colors he sees doesn't mean that's his outlook as well...just calling it as he sees it..fucker@BloodEagle

dingylamb
dingylamb

 @uktoby_k Phoenix sucks. Come further south

to Tucson. Google tamales and try one.

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

 @uktoby_k agreed, totally incredible. I wish all serial killers would just listen to the universe. it would surely tell them to stop killing people and randomly go to arizona instead.

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

 @LunasNoir jesus. it's like you 'only' children think you're some fucking  enlightened manifestation of the numinous or some bollocks.

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

 @xraiderray It would appear that the universe intended for you to be exceptionally bad at grammar. have you seen any signs or had any dreams that corroborate this?

justanotherposter
justanotherposter

Jake; Lancaster, Pa. you say. I grew up there and spent many a Saturday morning watching something called Covered Wagon Theatre that was on WGAL. It was those movies shot in the West as well as feeling like a square peg in the hell hole that was Lancaster. No one fits there unless they were born and properly repressed by the prevailing attitudes.

I moved to Phoenix the minute I had a chance and a partner who was game to go. Lived there for twenty years and then had to move to another city because of job opportunity.

I hope you can get out of Lancaster ASAP and get yourself back to Phoenix. I wasn't an only child but I was the only child in my family like me. My sisters and brother went in their own directions while I sat and watched Covered Wagon Theatre and tried to transport myself to anywhere west that wasn't Lancaster.

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

 @jakegraham287 it really does appear to be the case that the teleological climax of the universe is for everyone on the planet to have moved to arizona.

danehodgson
danehodgson

 @MotherRosetta 

You're right. I DO need to read more carefully. Point taken. Thanks for bringing my flawed observation to my attention. Take care.

uktoby_k
uktoby_k

 @dingyasslamb next time i'll make it down there man...yeh the food here is proper varied, like it alot

BloodEagle
BloodEagle

 @LunasNoir one of the only 'only' children i know is about as perceptive and self-actualised as a fucking potato.

xraiderray
xraiderray

 @BloodEagle  @xraiderray  what the heck dude i just plainly said that this is a good article and this gives me a better perspective on things in reality.... i don't know what you mean by your reply, but i will pay no mind to it if it is simply  just a message to insult. meh.

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