What is Puscifer?

Maynard_column .jpg
What is Puscifer? (Besides being the International Multi-Media Project I've been developing since 1995?) Good question. We usually respond with the very dismissive and obviously evasive answer: "What is Puscifer is what Puscifer is." A less evasive version of the answer is that it is an "uncertain creative space where almost anything goes." In keeping with that moving target sensibility, I will attempt to go the long way around with yet another one of many possible elusive answers.

Stow away all your baggage and get cozy. Your in flight cocktail for this Air Bus cruise will include ingredients such as sarcasm, grossly unsubstantiated conclusions, assumed facts not in evidence, smoke, mirrors, and a dash of improvisational hogwash. Seat belts on. Electronics off.

See also: Maynard James Keenan: Rochambeau Myself
See also: Maynard James Keenan: These Are The "End of Days"
See also: Maynard James Keenan: Up on the Sun's New Columnist

See also: Maynard James Keenan (Puscifer, Tool, A Perfect Circle) on The Importance of Keeping It Local

A quick note before we go wheels up. If you happen to be one of the .001% of the worlds traveling humans that was able to arrive at an airport with a valid plane ticket in your name with proper id and all that, but you don't know how to use a seat belt, do us all a favor. Go back thru the security check point. Place all of your reproductive organs on the screening tray in a manner that will compel the extremely alert, understanding, hospitable TSA agents to run them through the X-Ray several times to get a better look. Once they've finished finger banging your personal effects, collect them all up. Go find your gate, and then go ahead & take a seat on the actual wing. Great views. Plenty of leg room.

So begins your in flight entertainment. At some point in human history we became aware of our own mortality. When confronted with the death of a companion, we had the epiphany that this was simply no longer just a pile of inanimate meat and bone. This was our companion and whatever energy made them who they were is no longer present. And then reality sinks in: Someday I will no longer be here. And for the first time we asked the question. Why? Why are they no longer here? What can I do to prevent that from happening to me? Or at the very least, "what can I do to put off the inevitable?"

We were now aware that our very survival was directly connected to and contingent upon how creative we could be. Our instincts to Fight or Run were not enough. We weren't as fast or strong as our larger and ferocious opponents. Instead, we needed to use every fiber of our imagination, every spark of our creative energy to stay ahead of these daily threats on our lives. Otherwise the ever-present realty was this. Today could very well be our last.

Peanuts? Peanuts? Peanuts? Peanuts? Would you like a beverage?


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82 comments
marmarhole
marmarhole

Why is everyone arguing? Talk about monkeys killing monkeys! Read it if you like it, and move along if you don't. The point he expressed here and other places is his desire to have an outlet as an artist and a human being. Maynard is a person after all (kinda haha), just like everyone here (besides the occasional troll). It seems that people who came here expecting something else have placed an expectation of him to deliver something that you deem worthy enough to be bothered for your time. As if he or any other artist owes anything to you! If you've placed him on a pedestal and look to he or others to give you something you're missing in your life then the last thing you should be doing is wasting the little time we have here (the larger point of his post) writing negative bullshit drivel because you were so disappointed. What you should be doing is closing your laptop and getting some mushrooms and head to nature. There you might find something that will help fill your measly void that you so need filled.Carry on Maynard. I enjoyed it.m 

booboo
booboo

evolutionary psychology at its best

spiritof1777
spiritof1777

Who's been tipping cows in fields Elysian?

melissamary79
melissamary79

After reading some of the comments here, I just have to say that some douche bags need to just go back to their own lives instead of judging every little facet of everyone elses.  Democracy means you and me, so how about if we sit back and enjoy the prose? Thanks for the thoughts Maynard, your wife was for sure right.

georgejb66
georgejb66

Seems a lot of people commenting are seated on the wing. Maynard you are the man!

dyspixie
dyspixie

@puscifer definetly a good time, re-telling all the fun stuff we've witnessed :D Great article, very informative.

raygungothicrecords
raygungothicrecords

If the knowledge of our impending demise provides the impetus for all art and creative activity it sure would explain why a higher power would keep us in the dark about life after death.... in fact knowing the answers to many of the great philosophical questions would likely make us lazy and complacent  (ok, MORE lazy and complacent). Death is the spice of life

disinterested
disinterested

pretty sure that I don't care what puscifer is.

Broski_Love
Broski_Love

boring. stick to singing and wine making, your writing is horrible.

xraiderray
xraiderray

Well... looking over this once more, I realize some synchronistic events happening in my life including coming across this page and him calling himself a chicken little.  Eh... I'm glad that this dude is still alive.  It brings flavor to a watered down, tasteless soup called today's music.  He's a troll, but he is my most favorite troll ever and he's smart and wise.  I respect him because he stands for something instead of falling for anything.  I may not agree with everything he's said and/or done, but I do respect him. :D

ripewithdelay
ripewithdelay

naaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaah please bob end them all...but before that make Adam Jones do an adaptation of "Preacher" starring Mr. Keenan as Herr.Starr.

Jeff_Blank76
Jeff_Blank76

this guy is a half-wit wannabe Henry Rollins with absolutely none of HR's originality. go back to making wine, has-been

LolaSylphide
LolaSylphide

@mjkeenan thanks, made me laugh an didn't fail to inspire.

treebe10
treebe10

@mjkeenan can I have an rt for Renzo Gracie jitsu!

PatrickyC
PatrickyC

@mjkeenan Yo please tell us more about wine and less about Tool.

jrich1021
jrich1021

Maynards a bisexual thats rich, artistically very talented and worships the Devil...wow hes awesome maybe I will meet him one day and my life will be totally complete...... ...... ......

 

mxmvxx
mxmvxx

@mjkeenan need a new tool album. Soon. If not I will be forced to listen to nickelback. That serious!

ditchriderYT
ditchriderYT

@mjkeenan always an interesting read. You do have a way with words sir.

a.jirasek
a.jirasek

observing..interpreting...reporting...this is The Weaver

mickpedder
mickpedder

@mjkeenan mitt romney would sit on a wing. he does want fresh air circulation in planes after all.

Rick
Rick

I understand that New Times has to jump on such a big opportunity to bring in local, big name talent.  What's disappointing to me is that the author seems to be content to mail it in, rather than give us something of any real substance.  Obviously the author can literally write anything, and the Hot Topic crowd (a sizable chunk of his fan base) will eat it up and say things like "you're so smart" and "Maynard is God".  That's the way it goes.  

 

What turns me off here is that the money could have been spent to give someone a real opportunity to write a more substantial column.  Maybe I'm wrong.  It does seem entirely possible that there is some sort of agreement that the author is not paid, but instead permitted to gratuitously pour on the masturbatory self promotion.  Throw in a few quirky metaphors and the kids will get on their knees.  

 

Disappointing.  Tell the rest of us something we don't know.

natertweets
natertweets

@mjkeenan thank you Chicken Little, thank you...

Zedhere
Zedhere

@mjkeenan It's hard to light a cigarette with no thumbs and flying on the wing... Ah, that's what puscifer is!!!!

CRANIAL_Ind
CRANIAL_Ind

@mjkeenan did you write this from 120,000 feet up?

imalibra
imalibra

Very interesting metaphor. Never thought of puscifer and the cenozoic era having much in common for comparison! Boy, was I wrong! Touche' Mr. Keenan! Well, great advice. I think I'm going to take it!

ItsJustMe1115
ItsJustMe1115

@puscifer so I've been looking everywhere to buy 'C is for E.P' but I can't find it anywhere, any ideas where I could buy it??

Therese Thomas
Therese Thomas

I look forward to MJK's articles so much and I'm never let down!

zemlick
zemlick

If you take every 5th word starting from the end and working backwards it reveals that Maynard worships the devil, it is also a recipe for chocolate chip pancakes.

lucasarrimada
lucasarrimada

MJK el filósofo zen del lado oscuro de la música. "Puscifer is what it is" @Domingarra

xraiderray
xraiderray

Cool -tastic nergas!!! this is gold.Maynard the smart dude. :D

xraiderray
xraiderray

Cool -tastic nergas!!! this is gold.Maynard the smart dude. :D *am i multiposting? lagg*

TestaOn
TestaOn

 @disinterested Please, please... what do you care about?  We philistines are all holding our cough-lective breath.

drgorgon
drgorgon

I agree. Maynard, join us out here. The view is great but it gets a little windy when we hit 700mph.@Broski_Love

musashi777
musashi777

Or...you could simply read the other articles/editorials on this site and save your breath at taking a stab a rock star. It's true that many of us here on the forums only because a link was provided on Tool's website; however if Justin Bieber was writing a witty article about what's new in his world here on the site, I imagine you'd be on that shit like white on rice (and on your knees too, no doubt). The bottom line is that Maynard is actually still relevant (thank god) in popular culture, while you're nothing more than a chode who likely has abysmal taste music. Why don't you go sprawl out on some satin sheets, light a candle and fire up your favorite Daughtry album? 

Jeff_Blank76
Jeff_Blank76

 @KB2 jesus, you people are about as smart as Rusk Limbaugh's ditto-heads. and just as easily led by an egomaniac blohard

Domingarra
Domingarra

@lucasarrimada Un grosísimo oscuro.

drgorgon
drgorgon

Hey, leave sir broski alone. Haters gonna hate and they make Mr. Keenan famous!! @victoria.dawn921 @puscifer @Broski_Love

anon
anon

 @Jeff_Blank76  @KB2 I think you need to loosen up a bit. We need a little of this senseless humor now and then; I find it an enjoyable read for when the Mondays roll around (now Wednesdays, apparently). As for yourself, maybe you should spend time doing something (what you believe is) productive.You're missing the point of his messages here. You're a hypocrite for believing you're some sort of advanced human being. In reality you're as mentally unstable as the rest of us.

musashi777
musashi777

@Jeff_Blank76

Okay Jeff, first off could you please explain why you put "wine" in quotation marks? I'm rather confused on that. Are you insinuating that his business is illegitimate? Is it a meth lab? Or a front for underground sex-trafficking? Yogurt?

 

But I digress. To answer your second question, yes. He is still "relevant," (see what I did there?), in every sense of the word. As a matter of fact, his "so called wine" business in Arizona kind of corroborates that notion, considering how expensive it is to actually make a fine wine. And to have that be entirely manufactured in Arizona no less, with its arid climate and so forth. To quote a scene from Step Brothers (a film I'm perhaps to fond of): "well (Jeff), they're what's called a "trophy fish" soooo, yeah. They're pretty big." 

 

Furthermore, he's the front man of three highly successful bands; with Tool being the oldest-a feat in and of itself seeing as virtually all of the bands that came from the 90's west coast grunge/progressive explosion have long since disbanded (due largely in part to heroin overdoses and other depressing things of that nature).

 

While they're known for taking long hiatus' between their time spent in the studio, they still frequently sell out stadium shows with the cheapest ticket averaging at $75 bucks a pop. In summation: don't hate him because he's living the life that you and I can only dream of. God only knows he had to have worked his ass off to obtain it. I'll get off my soapbox now.

 

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