8 Kids More Metal Than You

Categories: Metal Mondays

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There are few things in this world that have the ability to coax an "Awwwww...that is so damn adorable" out of me. Exceptions? A 4.5-inch Soundwagon on my favorite piece of vinyl, a little tiny VW bus that drives in circles, spitting out tunes through its built-in speaker. Miniature Maker's Mark bottles. Hot college chicks who think flashing their tits equals guys remembering their names.

But something that truly makes me feel a little soft is badass little metalhead kids. Infants rocking GWAR and AC/DC onesies. Five-year-olds throwing out devil horns, toothy grins, and Chuck Taylors. Just the other day, my friend's seven-year-old daughter asked me if I would take her to her first metal show; I practically melted before her mother firmly, and quickly, said, "Maybe when you're older."

I admittedly agreed with her -- who am I to argue with a woman who doesn't want 32 hours of labor tainted by skulls and spikes? But I also felt the need to inform this Lady Gaga-loving friend of mine that a 2007 British study concluded that gifted kids prefer heavy metal over any other genre of music, mainly because they can relate to the intensity and pent-up aggression.

According to this study, "Participants said they appreciated the complex and sometimes political themes of heavy metal music more than perhaps the average pop song." These kids would listen to such bands as System of a Down, Slipknot, Tool, Dragon Force, and In Flames, when they needed to blow off steam.

I'm not the most comfortable around kids to begin with; they seem to like me, but I'm not sure why. Maybe they sense the awkward vibe I give out -- a cross between a 27-year-old baby duck knowing that she's supposed to have some sort of mother duck instinct kick in any day now...but there's a possibility that it just isn't in the cards.

That always causes people to be a little curious.

But I, of course, always seem to connect with the young'uns who have a penchant for metal; whose parents decided that Led Zeppelin lullabies and Slayer sweet dreams were the way to go. God knows that whenever I end up having kids some day, they will be listening to music for nine months before they are even in this world, and then will damn well have a mohawk until they are able to tell me that they don't want one anymore. I'm guessing the little dude or dudette will also be incredibly gifted, a.k.a able to bullshit their way through school and pound Jack Daniels like it's nobody's business (when, you know, that's okay for them to do).

So, in honor of little ones who rock, I compiled a list of metalhead kids inspired by Metal Injection.

This mohawked, nine-year-old Sid Vicious look-alike plays "Crazy Train" on stage at a show and totally rocks it.

The brother/sister duo Murp grind it out to several songs in YouTube videos that they've written on their own. The brother jams out on drums in the back while the five-year-old sister head bangs in between shooting innocent stares to whoever is in the background, and has a set of pipes on her that would make Lizzy Hale proud.

Now, this seven-year-old girl may not be making any music, but she certainly may be inking up some musicians one day. This video shows her tattooing a guy's leg, concentrated and dedicated even while she's bedecked in pastel hues and puff paint. Jesus, she looks like Rainbow Bright branding some villain.

Now we're getting into the thick of it. These kids can't be older than eight, but their cover of Rammstein scored them a spot actually opening up for the band after someone in the band or on the crew caught sight of this video.


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