Maynard James Keenan: Rochambeau Myself

Please let us when you have mastered kicking yourself in the testicles or have beaten yourself at a game of paper, rock scissors,...only are accoplished by pure imagination.

I do hate to break it to you Mr. Keenan, but the theory of global warming has a clear scientific basis (for those unfortunates, like Keenan, not knowledgeable enough to know this, educate yourself here:(http://www.ucsusa.org/global_warming/);  Given its proven truth, you appear clueless when you compare Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth,' a movie warning us about the dangers of global warming, to Fox News, an outfit not concerned with truth (see Rupert Murdoch admitting to partisan coverage of the Iraq war (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K2pLo8JV5Y), or read this more comprehensive report on Fox's bias (http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1067).  Yes, you must feel yourself a sage, well above us fools who get caught in the partisan fray over whether proven scientific theories are true (I eagerly await you questioning the theories of evolution and gravity at some point in your series); but please, do yourself a favor and realize your sense of sagacity is entirely misplaced - anyone who triangulates on global warming has a hell of a long way to go.  

DO YOU WANT LUNCH?

mother of god...

I anxiously wait to read Maynards column it always makes my day.

You're a rooster not a chicken. Other than that discrepancy, we are enjoying the articles.. Keep up the good works..

I wish I could get the last 3 minutes of my life back.

finally something worth reading in the news not edited the corporate news lol

gramma loves grrrrrappa¡!

@induztre greatest line of the whole article: Politicians are the new Andy Kaufmann.

The Jerk. A CLASSIC! I remember my parents watching it in the early 80s and them not caring I was in the room. Now it's one of my favorites :)

Rock paper scissors 

@CFH_TAW that's fucking excellent material! Wouldn't expect any less from MJK! Almost brought a tear 2 my eye it was so hysterical!

What is Rochambeau?  

@Sonnenvakuums Ay no no no, qué hace escribiendo… un disco, eso es lo que tiene que hacer. =(

The last movie I saw in the theatre was The Fourth Kind. Yeah, that's how bad movies suck right now. Well that and I had a baby. I really wish you could ship wine to PA. I know it's probably the stupid state stores that are prohibiting you from doing that. I hope that changes in the near future. I'm anxious to taste your product.

@puscifer I work at a movie theater, the flood of crazy republicans flooding in to see "that Obama movie," just won't end. Hilarious column!

@puscifer "Fuck me, Santa" still haunts me at the most inappropriate times.

@puscifer yup.

@puscifer made the mistake of seeing "house at the end of the street". I wound up screaming "turn around bitch!" in my head the entire film.

love to read your column

For a good time may I recommend a jumbo jar of pickeled pigs feet to share with your honey while snuggling up to a few episodes of  Call of the Wildman. Live action packed back woods Kentucky turtleman, Ernie will keep you excited and entrtained with his possum catchin adventures. Theres no good movies unless u go to the theater next to the titee bar.

My children played rochambeau when they were younger...southpark...lol

What an amazing human being. So glad he is writing and I have the privilege of reading such poignantly powerful yet hilarious thoughts from such an enigmatic man.

@puscifer @phoenixnewtimes @carinaround @telefontelaviv @JeffFriedl @mat_mitchell @billyhowerdel @mattmcjunkinsAnd Which movie did u choose

your wit is appreciated!

@caduceuscellars well played sir

@puscifer It's a crime to suggest a member of government be introduced to a game that ends in a tiny bit of bodily harm? A bit reactionary.

Funny column

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I desperately await Maynard's posts- loving twitchy fingers, google laziness and Twilight theories...however, lost somewhere between the suggested Obama film and Bourne Identity.  It jumps from Obama movie, to Gore reference...to the end decision.  What did I lose in the sarcasm and cynicsm? Help. P.S. Mr. Keenan- English-teacher-seeking-side-job-as-rant-editor here.

Dude, you totally should've have gone with "Trouble with the Curve."  It's a real heart-warming tale and that Justin Timberlake is such a hunk.

@puscifer Awesome. Do that more often, and I'll forgive you for the lack of new Tool.

It's like BMB except you make sense. @puscifer @phoenixnewtimes @carinaround @telefontelaviv @JeffFriedl @mat_mitchell @billyhowerdel