Maynard James Keenan: Rochambeau Myself
Wait! What's this? An Obama film! Say it isn't so! Could it possibly be as Painfully Comedic as Fahrenheit 9-11, Fox News, or Al Gore's film? I can't remember the name of that one but I believe it was something like WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, unless you scrap your perfectly good vehicle & ONLY drive your sister's emasculating hybrid. I may be a little off on that one, but I'm on a roll and too lazy to Google it.
That said, I did watch his film, and because I am the paranoid type, I now have more hoarded SPF 200, ham radio batteries, and MREs (formerly referred to as C-Rations. Don't make the mistake of picking up a gross of those. Not so tasty anymore. Saltpeter has no shelf life) than I'll ever know what to do with. I'd love nothing more than to introduce Mr. Gore to Rochambeau the hard way. Note to Secret Service: I'm kidding, so you can remove your twitchy hands from your pistols, please. And don't worry. I have no intention of turning this column into a bi-partisan mixed vomit bag of political agendas. But I will say this. Politicians are the new Andy Kaufmann. If only he were around to enjoy it all.
Now I must be off to my two-hour vacation. It's a toss-up between The Bourne Legacy and Expendables 2. Tough call as both are running pell-mell towards Feel Good Comedy of the Year. Suppose I'll need to Rochambeau myself to decide.
Chicken Little out.
Follow Maynard James Keenan on Twitter: @caduceuscellars, @mjkeenan, @puscifer. Read his column every other week on Up on the Sun.