Getting Punched in the Boob Sucks: A Note on Girl Fights at Phoenix Shows

Categories: Open Thread

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Brooke Valentine, "Girlfight"
Ladies, we need to talk.

You need to stop getting into fights at shows. I know lots of dudes like watching girl fights, but I'm going to speak on behalf of the gals: Getting punched in the boob sucks.

Unlike guys, we fight dirty. We kick, punch, slap, and scratch where it hurts. Aside from some deep-seated anger management issues, I'm baffled as to why there have been so many girl fights at Phoenix shows lately. Is there something in the water that is prompting Phoenicians to beat the shit out of each other? Full moon? Return of the Phoenix lights?

What?

Let's not blow this out of proportion. I go to a lot of shows, and I don't see fights too often. Most of the time, it's a couple of meatheads duking it out at a music festival. Wag your genre-hating fingers all you want, but fights are a rare occurrence at punk and hardcore shows, too. Sure, the kids love to run around in circles and punch unsuspecting floors, but most injuries happen by accident because by and large, people are civil.

(Just be careful where you flail your arms.)

You expect burly, drunk machos to throw down, but past couple of weeks I've seen stuff get violent between ladies at what should be the tamest of concert-going experiences: indie rock shows. Maybe everyone's vying for the affection of a cute singer, or Girl One is livid that Girl Two bought the same outfit from American Apparel and wore it better. Who knows?

Remember the Grimes show? I wasn't in attendance at that show, but reports indicate that a fight broke out in the girls' bathroom and cops were called.

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While this was happening, I was at the Cursive show downtown, being shoved, tripped, and flipped off because I grabbed the setlist first.

I understand that snatching this mystical little piece of paper can be quite the competition -- I've seen plenty of people jump on Crescent's stage to get it -- but screaming every swear word in the book at someone for doing so is a little ridiculous. This girl was so mad that you'd think I murdered her puppy as an offering to Satan. Her night was ruined because she spent the rest of the encore bitching me out. Why waste your energy when most sound guys have a copy of the setlist?

Here's the low down on grabbing the setlist: Don't do it until the band is done playing the very last song on the list. Once the guitarist strums the final note and the singer says "good night," the setlist is fair game, just don't be a dick about it. Whoever touches it first keeps it, plain and simple.

Think of it like trying to catch a baseball. No matter how much you adore this object, it's not worth potentially hurting someone to get it. Also, if a child asks nicely for it, consider giving it up.


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19 comments
amazed
amazed

This town is so unbelievably pathetic.  Could the collective IQ of this place possibly get any lower....

Margie
Margie

I me Margie can beat the shit out of all women and most men. try me out at boxing night at the Hells Angels MC Phx clubhouse at 147 west Mojave st Phx AZ Saturday nights at 8pm to any and all takers.

WEIRD
WEIRD

Oh, so this is the gossip corner. For a second I thought I was in this Music section.

Jason P. Woodbury
Jason P. Woodbury

 But if you want to meet at the Hell's Angels clubhouse we could fight about it.

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford

Anyone on here who reads this shit and takes any of this worthless dribble seriously is pathetic and is not very intelligent.

Paul
Paul

 yes it can. just look around better.

Alex
Alex

 Its a good place to settle a score as no one will call 911 no matter how violent or bloody it gets.

Threstlesskind
Threstlesskind

 No one ever shows up. we live in a city of punks and cowards.

Alex
Alex

Real QUEERS cant fight or are to afraid to fight.

CHUCK ZITO
CHUCK ZITO

I have met Margie a few times and she is in very good shape and she looks like Jennifer Lopez and she is a very sexy hot lady.

Margie
Margie

 Your welcome to come fight me in the boxing ring any time exitwound. im 100% sure you wont take me on though. that silly girl Margie.

Paul
Paul

 Margie is not an HA she is a female boxer. there are no females in the HA they are a sexist club.

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