Prediction: How Much Will the Super Bowl Halftime Show Suck on a Scale of One to LMFAO?

By Lenni Rosenblum Thu., Feb. 2 2012 at 1:00 PM

Categories: Open Thread

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There's no way in hell that Berry Gordy could actually be proud of these guys.

Last year's Super Bowl performance was absolutely awful. After listening to 10 minutes of shouting by the Black Eyed Peas, I wished I could have unseen their show (or used the time wiser, maybe to make another bowl of nachos or something).

I'm not looking forward to this year's halftime show very much. Sorry, Redfoo, but performing a la Zoolander and "prancing around in your underwear with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see" just isn't hot when you're 35 years old.

So, on a scale of one to LMFAO, how much will this year's Super Bowl halftime show suck?

M.I.A.'s contributions to Madonna's performance could really go either way.

People tend to either really like or really hate her music. Her last album sucked, so I've got little hope that the new one will be anything like the stuff on M.A.Y.A. The Madonna/M.I.A./Nicki Minaj single "Give Me All Your Luvin'" just isn't that exciting. The single drops February 3, and you can preview it on Idolator now. It's not Madonna's best work, but it's still pretty good, and it's certainly enhanced by the tight work of Nicki Minaj, who is bound to bring some sass to the performance. Given the family friendly nature of the performance, maybe she'll put her ass away for once (we don't need another wardrobe malfunction). Regardless of the badonkadonk situation, she does some pretty high-speed rapping on Madge's new track.

Cee-Lo Green has been thrown into the Super Bowl halftime show rumor mill as well, but he seems like an unlikely performer this year, given how he would (or wouldn't) fit in with the other acts.

But will this be Madonna's comeback gig? Probably not. I'm not expecting sales of her upcoming album MDNA to totally go through the roof, but lots of loyal Madonna fans will probably snag a copy within the first two weeks of the album's release. The Super Bowl halftime is a big get -- it'll certainly boost sales figures by reminding Americans that Madonna is back...kind of. Either way, she's a fantastic live performer, and she's bound to be the highlight of the halftime show.

As for LMFAO's portion of the 12-minute set, I'm expecting it to be the worst part by far. If it's anything like their performance at the AMA's and people need to wear 3-D glasses to enjoy it at all, it'll be awful. I suggest that all of America take a bathroom break of refill the fridge with beer while LMFAO is on stage. I can practically guarantee you won't be missing anything.

So on a scale of one to LMFAO, I'm guessing the suckiness of this year's Super Bowl halftime show will be a 6.5. After all, nothing can beat the crappiness of the Black Eyed Peas' show.

If you really wish to relive the disgrace that was last year's Super Bowl halftime show, here you have it.

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