|Private eyes, privater stache -- John Oates|
You could say that during the month of October
, there are some questionable, but well-intended benefits that sexualize breasts for the sake of raising money for breast cancer research.
Well, two can play at that game, ladies. Move over, October. Think your chesticles are sexy? Try comparing them to these glorious lip kittens. During Mustache Movember
(if you mustache, "Movember" is mustache for "November,") men sprout below-nose sweaters for men's health and prostate cancer awareness.
In the spirit of MuggShots Movember Mustache Party
, featuring the musical talent of locals Benni Beatnik, Luke Hansen and DJ Snapdragon
, here are some of the most memorable 'staches in the past few decades.
Let's just get this out of the way. No one on this list is going to top the Queen singer in thickness or health of 'stache. It's just impossible. If we had a lifetime achievement award to give in the art of lip ticklers, Mercury would win year after year. The sadness of his atrocious, untimely death is only compounded by what his mustache could have been. RIP, Freddy Mercustache.
Dang. I'd pet that thing all night long.
Zappa's mustache packed a one-two punch -- the "punch" being the bonus soul patch sprouting below his lower lip. OK, so maybe counting Zappa among the mustachioed gives him an unfair advantage, but the thick, wiry black hairs he managed to sprout proves he belongs on this list. Pretty sure we could measure the thickness of one of those puppies with a yardstick.
Perhaps we're a bit hasty putting the MEN and Le Tigre mastermind on this list so young in his career, but have you seen that 'stache? It's patchy, pubescent, and wonderfully shatters all sorts of gender boundaries. Awesome!
Really, there would be no other indictor that Prince is a total weirdo if it weren't for his pencil thin, tightly trimmed mustache. Well, besides the whole "no eye contact thing." Oh, and the whole "I'm not a name, I'm a symbol" nonsense. OK, fine. Prince's mustache is perfectly suited to his demented, bonkers persona.
Taylor Rice of Local Natives
Hipster Wyatt Earp. I'll bet it looks good drinking a sarsaparilla.
The Weezer singer's short-lived 'stache sort of made him look like the dad from Malcolm in the Middle
, before he started cooking meth on Breaking Bad
. We're into that.
1212 E. Apache Blvd., Tempe, AZ