Bryan Lightningrod: Officially the Creepiest Musician in the Valley

Categories: Weird
lightningrod.JPG
Are you ready for the Lightningrod?
You should know that this post is totally NSFW. Prepare for a serious case of the willies. 

Before I get started, here's a little backstory behind all the weird you are about to stumble into. Yesterday, I was inputting concerts into New Times calendar database. I came across a show taking place August 21 at the Rhythm Room featuring a long list of artists I'd never heard of. I started to randomly Google names from the list, which is 23 names long. Finally, I got to Bryan Lightningrod

That's the boring part. Bryan Lightningrod is actually a 97-year-old vampire from Egypt. Cool, right? Except he looks like he's bordering on 40, is from Chandler, and likes to take videos of the fannies of young girls. What seem to be really young girls. 

The video for "Give It to Me," which was self-shot on one camera, features two teenage-looking girls in standard unsexy garb at a skatepark and cut shots of Lightningrod dancing like a Tommy Wiseau-Muppet hybrid. 

Is it just me, or does it look like those girls were filmed without their knowledge? 
 

Two days ago, the video was posted on the Tosh.0 Community, a forum where fans of the Comedy Central Internet-clip show can submit videos for the show's consideration -- after, of course, the writers have already plundered Digg, Reddit, and YouTube for videos that were popular seven months earlier. The Tosh.0 post has only 12 views so far, but the nearly 4,000 viewers of the video on YouTube kindly encourage him to "stop sexualizing young girls" in the comments. 

Apparently, the video was flagged on YouTube, but the company eventually wrote Lightningrod back, confirming that it doesn't violate YouTube's community guidelines. 

Yes, the artist behind the songs "I Want to Fuck You're [sic] Butt" and "Hello Kiddy Girl" (seriously) has a Facebook, MySpace, and official website filled with pictures of scantily clad, young-looking girls with his name scrawled across various body parts. He solicits his 500 or so Facebook fans for photos, though he never suggests that they should be half-naked photos.Then again, he doesn't discourage them, either. 

Hey, if you're the parent of a teenage girl in the Phoenix area -- or really anywhere. This guy is on every social-networking site imaginable -- you might want to check out his Facebook page. Oh, by the way, he also hosts a Facebook group called "Bryan Lightningrod Loves Scene/Emo/Adorable - Girls." 

Here's a gem. 

16.jpg
In case you can't see that, it says "I want to have your baby while I'm 16." Yeah.

It all seems like a big joke. Though I'm not sure it actually is one. Either Lightningrod is a master troll looking to push the edge of what's socially acceptable or just a completely careless creep. His music, satire or not, is much like the genre "Tweenwave" that was the adoration of the youth-grasping Randy Marsh on South Park. But the music Lightningrod makes isn't merely Tweenwave. It is its own genre, he claims. It's a mix of rap, techno, screamo and metal, and it's called "Lightningrod," he says on his Facebook page. 

This dude is ballsy. Here are a few lovely lyrical insights from "Ain't Gotta Tell Your Momma." Sadly, the beat on this one actually isn't bad. 

"Oh, babygirl, wow / You ain't such a little girl now / Your momma don't know this, but, baby, I've noticed / You've got the sweetest candy, girl / Girl, I gotta touch it. Do you trust me? / Will you take a picture and make it look sexy? / Make it look hot, girl. Wear your bikini, or maybe just your panties / Take a picture of your ass, girl, straight to my phone."

Speaking of which, Lightningrod actually encourages that sort of thing with the general public. He posted his cell number on his website, telling his fans that he "loves to text." 

Reverse searches for his official websites, bryanlightningrod.com and klumix.com, his Lightningrod-exclusive "record label," lead to someone named Bryan Henning. Pretty coincidental that there are two Bryans with a "y" in the picture now. 

I've opened this can of worms, and now I have to walk around knowing this dude exists. That's fine. But looking at the pictures of these young girls exploiting themselves to get the attention of some delusional weirdo on the Internet will leave me sufficiently creeped out for weeks. No doubt there will be more Lightningrod coverage to come. 

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Rhythm Room

1019 E. Indian School Road, Phoenix, AZ

Category: Music

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77 comments
slimdavenport
slimdavenport

I hate to break it to you all but a male pedophile is a person who is attracted to prepubescent girls, not young teenagers. This guy is a creep and horrifyingly stupid, but until he expresses a desire for prepubescent girls he isn't a pedophile.

vanquishtn
vanquishtn

would someone in az please kill this ugly motherfucker. you target kids, we target you :)

Cary Miller
Cary Miller

This is fucking awful.  Even the "genre/artist" name of "Lightningrod" is ridiculously phallic.  And this is sexualizing young girls, who's faces are left out so that they can't be identified, probably in order to avoid a lawsuit.  I mean, this barely qualifies as a song as it is.  But you throw in the fact that this guy is fucking douchebag, and I'm sorry, but I don't get the appeal.  Not as a songwriter, (Published), performer, music producer / engineer, or as a record label owner. Pfft. Also some fake story about being a near hundred year old vampire doesn't make you look cool when you're 37 and you live with your parents bro.  It makes you a creeper.

CourtneyPoole
CourtneyPoole

FACEBOOK WHEN HE CLAIMED HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND PEOPLE DIDNT BELIEVE HIM. HIS RESPONSE, SICK RIGHT!!!!!        "yah i do shes 14 and a virgin and were in love"

Layla Bouroumand
Layla Bouroumand

And for all those people defending him.. Do you NOT see the picture of an acceptably YOUNG girl saying she wants to have his babies at 16? 

Layla Bouroumand
Layla Bouroumand

He likes to troll on Advertisements for sitemodeling and posts very crude 'humor' on there. I officially feel exploited just READING about this sick freak.

Nicky MidnightAngel Sixx
Nicky MidnightAngel Sixx

Hi my names Nicky,

I've been on Facebook for less then a month and all I've heard is complaints about Bryan and how he manipulates young teenage girls into sending pictures to him of themselves half naked or showing cleavage.I've made an event so we can all gather information against him and have him locked up for life.

He also claims to be a vampire from Egypt, I'm fairly sure there's no such thing as a vampire.

Event: https://www.facebook.com/event...His account: https://www.facebook.com/bligh...And here's his event that he made asking for the photos for the video, mind you this event was made in july and there's still no sign of it. : https://www.facebook.com/event...

Aj Falcon
Aj Falcon

I have seen this guy on facebook. If ANYONE has a facebook. Go onto his 'fan' page: http://www.facebook.com/themig...

AND Report his page for being sexually explicit. Youc an do that by clicking in the bottom left hand side "Report Page" button.

He needs to be pulled off facebook. Soon.

Bryan Lightningrod
Bryan Lightningrod

...wow that is so retarded people talking shit about me saying they want to kill me, mutilate me, commit battery against me or that I should die or be imprisoned just because I like pretty girls and they like me?? ..you people are the fucking psychopaths.   ..anyway I cannot be killed I am a vampire so eat shit. Also all you people who talk shit about the new times writing stories about me are fucking stupid ..the only interesting articles on this website that anyone looks at or comments are about me so you should also eat shit.

Connor
Connor

I'm loving how EVERY SINGLE DEFENSE of this pedophile is filled with spelling and grammatical errors. Great work, geniuses. Have fun defending yourselves in court.

jeremx
jeremx

ha ha.. once again the comments section of the new times trumps a lot of the actual articles. well, as far as laughs go.

Mimi
Mimi

Plain and simple, this dude is a creeper. He's scamming on young girl, and you can bank big cash on the fact that he's totally got something sleazy in mind. Anyone that says otherwise is flippin' delusional. 

Jacob
Jacob

Wow this guy would do great with Red Wall Records or Red Wall Live. lol he and Zach La Jeunesse could scam and sleaze over the whole city. 

Aarondhp24
Aarondhp24

Omg these people are trying to defend him. He's a Pervert and his music sucks. And by sucks I'm not even talking about the message. I mean THE SONG DOES NOT SOUND GOOD! I'm 24 and I felt really uncomforable watching it while every other shot was some childs butt in skate pads. Rain you're probably a pedo too. I have no problem with bondage or getting rough during sex, as long as the girl isn't a 14 year old in skater gear. You guys disgust me. God my ears won't stop ringing.

unbiased
unbiased

          Bryan Eugene Henning, also known as 'Bryan Lightningrod', was born c.1973-1974 to father, Nathan E Henning, and mother, Dara J Mittelstaedt. He has lived in Tempe, Phoenix, and Mesa, AZ. Though, he currently resides on W Megan St. in Chandler, Arizona (http://usidentify.com/bryan-e-..., http://www.spokeo.com/search?q.... Maintaining a gruff interpretation of the popular tween style 'scene', he has built up a large following of both boys and girls simply for his image and flattery towards those who he deems as attractive to him.           Releasing his first songs in the summer of 2010 through his own Klumix Records, Henning's present fan-base immediately reacted positively for the most part. While many others who have come across him via the internet are extremely negative towards both his image and music, he remains outwardly confident.            Much concern has been raised since the release of his first music video for the provocative song 'Give It To Me', as footage of the backsides of underage girls plays a prominent role in the video. Many have expressed their concern over not only his lyrics, but by his decision to put on display on each of his internet social sites any picture of a person displaying his name in any way, even if it is a scantily clad underage girl with 'Bryan Lightningrod' written across her breasts and barely covered by a bra. Further research has uncovered no official evidence for the widespread opinion that he is indeed a pedophile, as the registered sex offenders in each city he has lived in does not include a Bryan E Hemming.(View official list of registered sex offenders of all four arizona cities: http://www.city-data.com/so/so..., http://www.city-data.com/so/so..., http://www.city-data.com/so/so..., http://www.city-data.com/so/so...           Though, in a recent interview with an online magazine by the name of 'Spirit Ranch Live', the suggestive artist begins to show a deeper and more meaningful side of himself and his motivations of his music. As many have already harassed him through multiple social networking sites saying that he is 'a talentless freak', he states in the interview that "I produce and record all of my own beats without producers and such. This is very important to me because I consider myself an artist rather than a rapper, M.C., or a musician. I basically rap because I don't have a good singing voice, but you should notice a big difference between the way I 'rap' and most other rappers. I just call it rap because I don't have another word for it. To me it's like shitty singing that sounds cool and tells people who I am".(View the interview at this URL: https://sites.google.com/site/... )

Kaya
Kaya

"creepiest MUSICIAN in the valley?" You spelled "talentless pedophile" wrong/

Brett Wilson
Brett Wilson

Hey Bryan, you should create a few moar alts.

Steph
Steph

I think it's kinda obvious they knew they were being filmed...You don't wear clothes like that to a skate park...

TheDude
TheDude

I dont disagree or agree with this, i am very neutral on whether to believe this or not...

The people DEFENDING him should be a little more careful when talking/ interacting with some they dont know.

The people ATTACKING him dont know him either, and whilst they tell people not to trust things on the internet, well you're getting info from something that is also on the internet...Could be true or false

The facts and statements written in this are very flat, seems they just written random things and backed them up with very little sources and leaving the rest to the reader.

Bryan Lightningrod
Bryan Lightningrod

I have no idea what a Tommy Wiseau-Muppet hybrid is but my dancing is called sydney shuffle and running man.  ...next time stretch you journalist legs cunt. ..btw there is no shame in admitting you masterbate to my tracks.

Tyrannis
Tyrannis

Ok so lets rule out that he is a possible pedophile ok so here we go...he is a grown man in his 40's posing as a scene vampire (contradiction last time I checked REAL vampires aren't scene or go after lil girls) he has a five o clock shadow in the afternoon...isn't that weird just a tad bit...I wish girls nowadays would be smart for 2 seconds and figure out this a scam for attention and some 'fun' today's society I swear

Kristen
Kristen

I know you'll think i'm a whore but truly I am not. I'm 15 years old and he is a creep. I didn't think he was that old. I only looked at the profile pic on the facebook chat when he message me and assumed he was like 13-18. He asked me to skype and I said yes. When I went on webcam and saw what he really looked like, I got creeped out don't get me wrong but then He asked if her could see my boobs and that officially creeped me out. I logged off and blocked him from every site. If you don't believe me I have the messages.

Antonio Strong
Antonio Strong

I just paid $22.85 for an iPad 2-64GB and my girlfriend loves her Panasonic Lumix GF 1 Camera that we got for $38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UPS. I will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LED TV to my boss for $674 which only cost me $62.81 to buy. Here is the website we use to get it all from, CentHub.com

Holly
Holly

This is disgusting.  He deserves to rot in prison.  

richard dick johnsoncaulk
richard dick johnsoncaulk

I would just like to state that you are ridiculous ... Also as far as social taboos go try necrophilia ... You can't mentally scar a dead person, but you can sure as hell fuck up a child's life by having sex with them before the legal age. Have some class, get your act together, and take yourself off the internet. Just save face while you can. No point in getting arrested for the multitude of crimes you commited and will continue to commit. People are watching you and reporting you as we speak so do yourself a favor and stop being the grimy sleezeball poser you are, and fix yourself!

Sincerely,All concerned parents, boyfriends, other family members, psychiatrist, police officers, large black members of jail named bubba, violent j, your own mother, members of abused teen help groups, (if any exist) real vampires, teachers, musicians, svu detectives, any self respecting human being, and myself.

Ps. There's a certain circle of hell waiting for you when you pass away (stepping in front of a bus wouldn't hurt so bad you should test your luck I mean your immortal right ??) So heed my words, and I would finish this with may god have mercy on your soul but I think your too far gone for that to help (but antipsychotics, you should try some)(on my final note learn some discriptive words you fuck at least make me want to read your nonsensical bullshit lord)

Toodles

MCR143
MCR143

vampires dont exist...sorry to break the truth to you honey. cuz obviously you're mind is that of a small boy, you talk like a teenage boy or a lead cheerleader trying to start drama in her freshman year. and showing off your boobs doesn't make you "pretty", is that the best adjective you could think of? really? this is a big website, i am sure there's much more juicy articles on here about people being raped or house fires or obama or murders than your ugly face. just because you take a few topless pictures, record your own music, and dye your hair blue doesn't make you freaking jeffree star. get a life, talk to people your own age, use a real name, stop pretending your a scene edward cullen, and talk to people online that you actually know instead of half-naked sluts wanting to show their boobs off on the world wide web. you disgust me, and i speak from experience, i have known pedophiles, and you, my smirffy friend, match the description to the second "E".

Ashleigh Burns
Ashleigh Burns

Actually, Steph. When you skate, you're active. It takes a lot of physical activity. I'd go to cheerleading practice, in the fog, with 45 degree weather in short shorts. Your point is invalid. They dress like that because it gets hot or in the way of skateboarding. Plus I imagine it'd be hard to attach knee pads on when you're wearing pants. Did you even think before writing this or did  you mindlessly blurt out what Lightningrod has diluted your ears with? What is wrong with these girls.

wut.
wut.

Uh, what? Those aren't exactly sexy clothes...

Skye
Skye

I've seen this first hand. I was actually brought here by a facebook page aimed at getting him permanently banned from the network, after personally having to ban him from several forums for asking members for nude photos and to appear nude in his videos, members under the age of 16 in most cases.

KCSenkowsky
KCSenkowsky

Well, he does ask girls to exploit themselves, I being a victim. And on Facebook he has said that he wanted to marry a teenage virgin.

Lynn
Lynn

I think Abby would be pretty disgusted if she knew who her father really was. She's only 10 years old, have you even thought about her at all in your whole fucked up fantasy?

Kaya
Kaya

You spelled masturbate wrong, and you're retarded. Get a haircut, a job, and an appropriately aged boyfriend. Still won't respect you but I won't hate you as much either. 

Andrew
Andrew

Is that a flat iron in your picture? How are you a real person?

kirish
kirish

Then do something about it and don't let him pull this crap on some girl who is too dumb and insecure to turn him down.

Bryan Lightningrod
Bryan Lightningrod

OMG

why the fuk are boobs so fuking sacred they got to be covered all the time or you will get arrested for it or just looking at certain boobs will get you arrested that is fucking stupid and psycho.  ..and completely sexist Boys run around anywhere they want in public or online with their nipples showing but if a girl does it then she is labeled a "SLUT"  or a "whore"  ..and the girl can get arrested for child pornography?? ..what kind of sexist bullshit is that??

WMR
WMR

A question?How high on hair dye fumes were you when you wrote this, Bryan?

Jackknife
Jackknife

The girl does not get arrested for child pornography. You do for looking at it. Yeesh. You think a pedophile would brush up on his kiddie porn law. 

Reggie
Reggie

I can answer your question with another question; why did you ask to see her boobs? If there is nothing to hide, they wouldn't be so sought after. Chris Hansen called, he wants to talk to you.

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