Top Ten Indefensible "Your Music Sucks" Comments

Categories: Lists
ScumbagSteveMusicSucks.jpeg
Dammit, Scumbag Steve
​Let's go ahead and start this whole thing off with a rhetorical question: is there any one thing more subjective than one's taste in music? Probably not. Taste in music is like a snowflake -- everyone has their own, unique set of genres and bands that they enjoy listening to and not everyone's taste in music is exactly the same.

As a music writer, I often project my own taste in music in my writing. Take, for instance, my weekly Review Roundups. There are hardly any mainstream, Top 40 bands featured in those posts. Hell, those bands get plenty of exposure -- I'd rather write about an album I like or a band I feel could use whatever exposure I can give them.

I may even make a list of my favorite/somewhat popular songs every once in a while on UOTS. Clubs editor Jason Woodbury actually went ahead and made such a list last week, only to be met with some rather opinionated, declarative comments on why his list was "wrong."

This all got me to thinking -- why not make a list of the top ten "your music sucks" comments? These comments are usually indefensible and lend very little to the conversation/rapport that we as writers have with our readers, yet they are an absolute necessity in the "I'm always right" environment of Internet commenting. There's nothing at all wrong with the idea of these "your music sucks" comments. We as writers subject our readers to our opinions and the comments we allow our readers to make effectively subject us to their opinions.

Having said all of that, here now are the top ten "your music sucks" comments. If we can't all get together and laugh at each other every once in a while, then what the hell are we even doing here?

10. "Sorry my pants aren't tight enough to enjoy your music."
This one is applied to indie rock 100% of the time. Tight pants can be substituted for fedoras, scarves, gloves or whatever else people who claim to not be hipsters believe actual hipsters to dress like. The reality of this comment is that it only gives credence to the fact that indie rock is insanely popular right and has been for quite some time -- there's just no escaping it. So what if a bunch of 20-somethings in Williamsburg all dress in a similar matter? Those same 20-somethings all dressed the same in San Francisco circa 1967 and look how that turned out.

9. "People actually still listen to this?"
No one comment points out a blatant disregard for new music or new genres than this one. Actually taking the time to make this comment only goes shows just how out of touch the original commenter has become.

8. "Oh great, some band no one's ever heard of."
Perhaps you're right about that, commenter, but sometimes the point of our writing is to help gain some exposure for that band "no one's ever heard of." Most of the time, however, many people and their respective blogs have, indeed, heard of said band that "no one's ever heard of." Sometimes it just takes some time for a band's profile to really take off. 

7. "I can't believe people still play this kind of music/that genre is long-dead."
High holy shit, how could bands like Interpol and Bloc Party even dare to bring back post-punk? It's been dead since the 80s! These supposed "long-dead" genres were once popular in their respective heydays, why not take a chance, dust off the genre and put a unique spin on it? Sometimes an homage as such isn't the worst thing in the world.

6. "That band hasn't been relevant for five years."
This comment isn't necessarily incorrect, but it does very little to further any real discussion of the aforementioned band. The band in question may have not been relevant enough for your strict tastes, commenter, but they were probably still touring and writing material for their next album. Hopefully the release of their next album will bolster their supposedly dying relevancy.

5. "I might actually enjoy this if I was drinking a PBR/smoking some weed."
There's no one way to get to the core of a hipster's being than mocking their supposed drink of choice, Pabst Blue Ribbon. Marijuana falls under this umbrella of mockery, as well, since smoking weed is supposed to help you understand music better somehow. A comment like this is just a tidy way to let other people know that the commenter has no intentions of trying to understand a promising new band or a new, popular genre because they "don't drink PBR" and, thus, couldn't possibly understand the strange beeps and bloops of a new genre.

4. "Why don't you just stick to [insert band here]?"
This comment comes with the added bonus of the commenter claiming some unforeseen empirical knowledge about the writer and their taste in music. The commenter would lead a happier life if the writer would just stick to their normal, usual bands that the commenter happens to believe they know and can thus peg the writer as being a fan. More often than not, the band inserted is either Lady Gaga or something else that blatantly goes against the writer's supposed tastes, so as to get the biggest rise out of the writer.

3. "It's hard to take you seriously."
Who's the serious one, here? All that the writer was hoping to accomplish was to share some of their favorites songs -- songs they think some people don't yet know about and would actually like to hear. The writer doesn't realize that divulging the somewhat personal information about their favorite music would result in the commenter viewing them as some sort of circus clown. Listening to chillwave has no correlation with one's appreciation of fart and/or dick jokes.

2. "You obviously know nothing about music."
Yeah, fuck it -- you're right, commenter. Music writers get paid to dick around all day, posting nonsensical ramblings that do nothing to further any sort of discussion about music and music-related issues. It's a little known fact, commenter, the majority most music writers don't, in fact, know anything about music and are taking random stabs in the dark whenever they chose to write about a certain band or genre. It's all one, big guessing game, this music writing.

1. "This band is garbage."
The comment really speaks for itself. As indefensible as it is useless, "this band is garbage" is truly the deus ex machina of Internet comments. A simple "I think" would help clarify things, rendering the comment itself a matter of personal taste and not as some supposedly well-known doctrine that we are all to abide by. However, that never happens. Ever.

Just so we're cool, I'll go ahead and list five songs that are in my heavy rotation as of right now. I do so because people often have their opinions about why a certain genre or band are "garbage" and then don't bother to fill everyone else in on what music they actually like. This behavior does absolutely nothing to further to conversation between writer and commenter. So go ahead and take a piss all over them if you want. This is the Internet, after all.




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34 comments
drtyrellsowl
drtyrellsowl

Finally actually read that shitty list, was funny. Most of the initial comments were impenitrable, except for shit like the tight pants indie dorks nonsense. All your responses were weak defences that were pretty much just pleas for sympathy.

"Oh! They aren't dead, they're just touring and working on a new album." *Album released* *Ticket and album sales at an all time low*. And post-punk or any new genre that tries to revive old genres always sucks. Tame talent that wishes to be strong.

drtyrellsowl
drtyrellsowl

You basically just try to marginalize these people who say that your music sucks because you are too much of a loser to deal with criticism, obviously there is an underlying reason for this. Politically correct whining bishes that can't deal with bullying like they should so they censor them and take their anger out on everyone else by attempting smear tactics and stain their status because they called your music crap (boo hoo). Sometimes even remove their right to free speech, essentially becoming the biggest cowardice scumbag and bully of them all.

drtyrellsowl
drtyrellsowl

What's more subjective than one's music taste? The fact that retarded hipsters like OP who constantly spews the same shit that "everyone has an opinion", no catch phrase could be whored out by overly sensitive PC retards oblivious to their own pompous opinion of how other's should be allowed to think. The only thing is subjective is your rhetoric that new music in mainstream has any capability to have meaning or apply to anyone's life in a genuine, useful manner. The music you like most likely has absolutely no meaning and you go on to diss people who talk about ACDC or some shit as if they are a good representation of older music to begin with.

It's too easy to OBJECTIVELY judge losers like the person who wrote this article. You like music that is superficial and meaningless, which provides nothing to motivate anyone in society to do any good, only to have more materialistic aspirations in life. That means that this music has a negative affect on society thus your opinion is detrimental to society and any criticism is valid. Morals in society are crumbling, people are aging mentally faster, music and movies are becoming superficial nonsense, stupid people are constantly shooting out babies while intelligent people refrain from raising children in this corrupt, oblivious and brainwashed society. Your argument might hold water if good not very mainstream music was easy to find rather than being another 10 megabytes on a site a very small minority of the population has ever heard of.

Fact is, even though mainstream has always been pretty dull and unoriginal to an extent, at least there was some morality, optimism, inspiration and hope for society. Now the lyrical content is either empty, or about how each male should compete with one another, bang everyone else's girlfriend and make the most money, disregarding completely our crumbling economy. Women are also becoming indoctrinated into stereotypical gender roles, encouraged to be golddiggers claiming to be feminists yet misandrists idiots who hate all men and spread this nonsense about donglegate and demonize men for speaking on men's issues. Instead of being the independent women who can actually do their research and seeked Egalitarianism.

Your argument sucks. There's nothing that pisses me off at this point in this modern culture than these losers who constantly insist that other's clarify when something is their opinion. Your favorite bands ARE garbage, nobody needs to state whether that's their fking opinion or not, OBVIOUSLY it's my opinion, who the f else's would it be?????? "Obama drones innocent people, in my opinion" That's a good time to clarify when you don't have all the facts, you goddamn idiot.

drtyrellsowl
drtyrellsowl

What's more subjective than one's music taste? The fact that retarded hipsters like this author have the opinion that they can tell people how to think and act, completely oblivious to their own stupidity. Who constantly spews the same shit that "everyone has an opinion", no catch phrase could be whored out by overly sensitive PC retards oblivious to their own pompous opinion of how other's should be allowed to think. The only thing is subjective is your rhetoric that new music in mainstream has any capability to have meaning or apply to anyone's life in a genuine, useful manner. The music you like most likely has absolutely no meaning and you go on to diss people who talk about ACDC or some shit as if they are a good representation of older music to begin with. It's too easy to OBJECTIVELY judge losers like the person who wrote this article. You like music that is superficial and meaningless, which provides nothing to motivate anyone in society to do any good, only to have more materialistic aspirations in life. That means that this music has a negative affect on society thus your opinion is detrimental to society and any criticism is valid. Morals in society are crumbling, people are aging mentally faster, music and movies are becoming superficial nonsense, stupid people are constantly shooting out babies while intelligent people refrain from raising children in this corrupt, oblivious and brainwashed society. Your argument might hold water if good not very mainstream music was easy to find rather than being another 10 megabytes on a site a very small minority of the population has ever heard of. Fact is, even though mainstream has always been pretty dull and unoriginal to an extent, at least there was some morality, optimism, inspiration and hope for society. Now the lyrical content is either empty, or about how each male should compete with one another, bang everyone else's girlfriend and make the most money, disregarding completely our crumbling economy. Women are also becoming indoctrinated into stereotypical gender roles, encouraged to be golddiggers claiming to be feminists yet misandrists idiots who hate all men and spread this nonsense about donglegate and demonize men for speaking on men's issues. Instead of being the independent women who can actually do their research and seeked Egalitarianism.Your argument sucks. There's nothing that pisses me off at this point in this modern culture than these losers who constantly insist that other's clarify when something is their opinion. Your favorite bands ARE garbage, nobody needs to state whether that's their fking opinion or not, OBVIOUSLY it's my opinion, who the f else's would it be?????? "Obama drones innocent people, in my opinion" That's a good time to clarify when you don't have all the facts, you goddamn idiot.

drtyrellsowl
drtyrellsowl

What's more subjective than one's music taste? The fact that retarded hipsters like OP who constantly spews the same shit that "everyone has an opinion", no catch phrase could be whored out by overly sensitive PC retards oblivious to their own pompous o

risner0309
risner0309

Over the past 15-20 years, music across ALL genres has become hopelessly generic. There are so few original artists anymore that you can count them on one hand. Pathetic. The cheesy bands that the author listed at the end are perfect examples of how creativity and originality are completely gone from music, and how it is 99.9% about pitiful fashion instead. Indie rock? It's just as generic as the mainstream crap.

linto4
linto4

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Breasts
Breasts

Post link to Bleed Like Me vid

[Angry music-loving seahorse]

"THIS BAND IS GARBAGE!"

liam
liam

Someone now needs to make a list of the top 10 reasons people think their music is good. I'll start: -Its good because its different!

Lukas Galbraith
Lukas Galbraith

Please don't write top ten lists. They are not good.

Dedtarget
Dedtarget

I was commenting about tight pants, PBR, and bands from San Francisco five years ago before it was mainstream.

Marianne
Marianne

If you spend more than a few minutes reading online comments about nearly any topic, you wish that along with the share buttons for Facebook, Twitter, Stumble, and Digg, there were a button for "Send Commenter to Dickhead Island."

Michael Escoto
Michael Escoto

I believe my favorite, that's not on the list, is something along the lines of, "You're just bitter because you're not good enough to write for Pitchfork." I'm disappointed, people, not bitter.

Chase
Chase

IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING, the hipsters are drinking Old Style this summer. Also, for those that don't read the Sartorialist, baggy pleated khakis are IN as FUCK.

You're welcome.

Ed Masley
Ed Masley

Listening to chillwave has no correlation with one's appreciation of fart and/or dick jokes. Ha!

chris
chris

You obviously don't know shit about top 10 comment lists Michael (or anything really). Why don't you go shoot some rumplemintz and stick to You Asked For It's?

Gstephen26
Gstephen26

I am a musician and I must say I have not the slightest idea what you guys are talking about. Just saw a band I Phoenix that sucked. No energy, and the singer had a bad case of tweekin. He might have shot up in the early 90s but I think it was more of a current. West phoenix music sucks and if your gonna cover you better wear some spandex because I can hear it on the radio. Give me something. Lemme find out you have band practice with your wife convincing you that you are a badass.

Michael Lopez
Michael Lopez

I actually was going to link to the video for "Vow," but I decided against it and just kept my original argument in tact. I don't think that many people would have understood the reference, anyway.

Nice one, though!

Michael Lopez
Michael Lopez

Ah yes. That, or something along the lines of "It's too bad your music career never took off." I never realized that music writers were all failed musicians, eternally bitter at their respective fates.

chris
chris

this was sarcastic by the way...

Blee
Blee

I can't believe people are still making comments like those. Or listening to them.

Michael Lopez
Michael Lopez

I figured it was. The YAFI comment was pretty funny, I have to give you credit for that one.

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