Rebecca Black's "Friday:" Justifiably the Laughing Stock of America

Categories: Rebuttal
Friday.jpg
I damn well hope Rebecca Black never becomes a member of an academic honors society.
There comes a time where parents should consider shitting all over their child's dreams by telling them there are better things to do with their time than try out for shows like American Idol.

Perhaps, your son or daughter yearns to become a professional whiner/lyricist. There is always the slimmest chance they'll make it, but most people are kidding themselves. And then they turn out like America's newest sweetheart, the young and oh-so-unlovable Rebecca Black.​

Black, 13, has managed to embarrass herself in front of the entire country at an impressively early age, partially thanks to comedian Daniel Tosh, who posted the song on his Tosh.0 blog. Grab some cotton balls from underneath your bathroom sink because, between her horrible vocals and the laughable music video for her song "Friday," your ears might bleed.

Am I being too harsh to a young girl? Yeah, probably. But every kid should realize when they should stop doing what they like and choose a more realistic career path. Apparently that thought never occurred to Rebecca Black, or at least not before she became the laughing stock of the country. Naturally, this shit has brought about meme after meme after meme, and they're all pretty great. Facebook users have taken part in the bashing as well by creating an event called Friday for over 500,000 over Rebecca Black haters. So if you're unfamiliar with the mess that is Rebecca Black's song and music video, "Friday," let me break it down.


Hardly Any of the First Verse Rhymes

Lack of rhyming aside though, why didn't I write a song seven years ago about my daily routine for getting ready to go to school? She sings, "Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal." Rebecca Black doesn't look like much of a wake-n-baker to me...just saying.

Which Seat Can You Take? Just Sit the Fuck Down and Go To School

Black sings about making up her mind in regards to which seat she should sit in when her friend's car pulls up before the bus comes. Did it not occur to the people that produced this damn video that if she's 13 years old, both she and her friends aren't old enough to drive yet? And what kid around the age of 13 owns a convertible? What parent in their right mind even lets a 13-year-old kid drive a convertible to school? Rebecca's hanging out with the wrong crowd! Besides, the kid in the driver's seat looks kind of like Justin Bieber, which means he can't possibly be older than 12.

I 'Gotta Get Down on Friday'? I'll Make That Decision For Myself, Thank You Very Much

First of all, it's nice to see that she was finally able to make a decision about which seat to sit in. Secondly, the way she whines the word "Friday" over and over again is just unbearable, not to mention it sort of sounds like she's saying "fried egg." Then she insists that everyone's gotta get down because, well, it's Friday. What other excuse do we need? Actually, I think I'll decide for myself whether or not I'm going to "get down on Friday," and without the instruction of a young teenager, no less. Furthermore, Rebecca nonchalantly mentions partying on the weekend. Are your young little hands old enough to hold a bottle of Budweiser? I think not.

I 'Know What It Is'? We Clearly Have a Misunderstanding

There are a lot of lyrics about fun in this song, and they generally consist of nothing more than a line like, "Fun, fun, fun, fun." She also sings, "You know what it is." Really? How can she be so confident that I "know that it is?" I certainly don't know what it is. She goes on by singing, "I got this, you got this." What the hell are you talking about, girl? Rebecca then gives a shoutout to her friend sitting to her right, but not her friend on her left. That's just rude. 

She's Still Wondering Which Seat She Can Take

After that, she once again brings up her indecision about what seat she should take. Ugh, shut up about the seat choices! You're already in a damn seat, Rebecca! Leave it alone! Let's jump to what's going on in the music video during the second chorus. Look, there's a whole block of 13-year-olds who are posing like they all drive and own those cars! That neighborhood is just full of irresponsible parents.

It's Finally Friday So STFU

Furthermore, the party's about to start, which implies that it's Friday now, considering not that many kids have gotten in the habit of partying on Thursday by that age. I guess the music video director missed all of the opportunities to shoot underage kids drinking at a lame party because none were included in the video....bummer.

What's the Sequence of the Days of the Week? I Forgot

"Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today it is Friday, Friday. ...Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards." Those are my favorite lyrics in the entire song. Gawker user Matt Cherette, whose post about this song was the first I ever read, justifiably claimed, "My pug could write better lyrics. And my pug is dumb." I don't care that the lyrics to this song weren't written by Rebecca herself; Cherette is still right.

'We So Excited'? Clean Up Your Grammar, Bitch

'We so excited'? Really? She's somehow reached a new low with that phrase. I think that line speaks for itself.

That Rapper Just Lost All His Street Cred

What rapper in their right mind would lend a verse to this chick? Out of all people, if a rapper can't even make anything rhyme then the outlook for the creativity level in America is looking a little bleak.

I can't recall anyone becoming a sensation so quickly yet for all the wrong reasons like Rebecca Black has. Good luck with your career, Rebecca. I wish for you only good things, like a better singing voice, the ability to recognize when you should turn down a project and ask for a lyrical rewrite, and better decision making skills in regards to choosing seats.

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26 comments
Eric Hardeman
Eric Hardeman

wow i truthfully dont care how old this is your a fuckin bitch i dont see why people who have no rhyming producing or singing capabilities whatsoever are bashing a 13 year old girl for doing something with her life when you people just bash her sittin at a computer all day like nerds well there you go you gonna hide behind the internet & talk shit about me?

Tyler Bowers
Tyler Bowers

Way to just be a total jerk. Rebecca didn't write any of the song, and that's all you use to bash on her. The lyrics. That's Ark Musics stupidity, not hers. 

Meatballs Lives On!
Meatballs Lives On!

You missed that fact that 13 year olds all have non parent house parties on friday nights. You remember those days, don't you, well I sure don't. It must have been all the drugs I wasnt taking. What was I thinking.

sad man
sad man

Sad world, when even journalists paticipate in cybermobbing. :(

L Tee
L Tee

It's not that she's so young that she doesn't have talent, there are plenty of children on the Disney channel singing and acting that are much younger than her, and much more talented. The problem here is - she (in conjunction with her parents, I'm sure) has nationally humiliated herself. And she'll be in the public eye from now on, for a video that should have never been made.

over a million dislikes? If she was going for celebrity status - Win. If she was going for a pop star status - .. Epic Fail.

Slivarito
Slivarito

So many trolls o.OI think so many people are trolling because well... how can you consider this good by any standards? It's just too easy to make fun of, it's a rip off of a horrible pop artist, no point, no purpose, other than cashing out on your child's lack of talent.Anyone who says otherwise... well, you're just not worth responding to, because we know you be trollin'.

katatinka caroon
katatinka caroon

Rebecca Black is beautiful and the song is great. Friday...Friday...gotta get down on Friday....I find it really easy to enjoy myself as long as I'm not around haters, ya know what I mean?

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Nick
Nick

Lenni,I don't know if you are a girl or boy but you have to chill out. The girls thirteen and has rich parents to pay a label to make a music video for her. I'd take advantage of that too. Yeah this is obviously your job to critique everything possible about every person you see fit but you're probably a bitch yourself. Oh wait. By this post there's no question you are a bitch. Let the girl have her fun. She's a kid.

guest
guest

Actually, I think the song is great, the video is great, and the child is pretty and talented. Could you have done this with so much confidence at just 13 years old? I very much doubt it! And compared with some of the trash which has previously been in the charts, this song is an absolute winner! [as testified by the number of hits on youtube]

Jimmyneutron
Jimmyneutron

The hits on YouTube are from people who want to make fun of her. In a matter of hours she had 5000 likes to 35000 dislikes. 7:1 ratio of people that dislike her. I wouldn't even call that a song. I could eat pages of a book, shit them out and make a more coherent and musically talented song.

Anon
Anon

the video is mainly 'great' because everyone kept making gifs/meme's on tumblr causing people to find it on youtube, and obviously watching it and gaining it a view. if the like/dislike button wasn't disabled you could see how much a 'winner; it is. And if it was a winner people wouldn't be bashing it to such a high degree that she is getting death threats.

guest
guest

People are only bashing it as they are are jumping on the bandwagon [so to speak]. Sadly, humans have this 'lets find something to moan about' mentality which frankly, I fail to understand. We should be celebrating achievement, not knocking it.

Jahgacnrd
Jahgacnrd

Achievement?! If you call that achievement and you look down on the human race, well then our outlook is bleak. Do us all a favor and stick a fork in a damn toaster. I mean as dumb as you are natural selection will take its course pretty soon anyways. Might as well just get it over with

Zach
Zach

i tottally agree about paretns shitting all over their childrens dreams

Melissa Fossum
Melissa Fossum

It's Friday...Rebecca Black just wants to hang out with Smokey.

Abby
Abby

She's 13. It's a cute little song. Is it Shakespeare? No. But what song is?

As a parent, it's appalling that people are wishing harm to come to this child. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising that so many people are attacking a 13-year-old girl's YouTube video. In today's world, it's cool to launch a full-fledged attack on anyone who shares a song, a thought, or anything else.

It's a song. That's it.

Twisted Tidings
Twisted Tidings

You're right. It's not Shakespeare-- not even Titus Andronicus or Henry VIII.

SerenityofAshes
SerenityofAshes

The point is not that it's cool to bash everyone, the point is she so obviously lacks any talent and it astonishes us all that she even got this far.

Kthd02
Kthd02

Haters like you are what made her a name so its not that astonishing... Maybe if Haters like you stfu she wouldn't be such big news.

trjb102
trjb102

I agree. People really need to find better things to do with their time if they feel the need to mock a 13 year old girl.

SerenityofAshes
SerenityofAshes

That's some pretty stupid logic you have there. It's like saying if everyone ignored Justin Bieber then he'd go away faster. These stupid, talentless low-lifes are going to keep coming into our lives and will go away on their own, whether we ridicule them or not. So, I am going to hate and ridicule them all I want. I'm not losing anything and they're not gaining anything, asshole.

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