Justin Bieber in 2021: Our Predictions for His Hard Fall from Fame

Categories: Rebuttal
JustinBieber_2021.jpg
Justin Bieber as .aged by computer.
http://faceofthefuture.org.uk/
When tomorrow's pop culture writers look back at the meteoric career of dreamy teen pop sensation Justin Bieber it'll be easy to pinpoint the exact moment his star started to fall.

That'd be February 13, 2011 -- the night of the Grammy Awards -- when the mop-topped Canadian scamp was passed over for the Best New Artist award for otherwise-unknown Jazz instrumentalist Esperanza Spalding.

At the time, it was a shocking upset -- especially hard on Bieber's young, naive fans who reacted with rage and sorrow. It was also the beginning of the end. From there, once-cute Canadian kiddo's life unraveled in ways both predictable and unpredictable for young celebrities with more looks than brains.

"He's going to have many more years and many more nominations, so I think he'll be straight," Spalding said at the time.

Oh, bitter irony!

In 2021, of course, both "Esperanza Spalding" and "Justin Bieber" are merely answers to trivia questions asked by the cyborg version of Alex Trebek who hosts the popular iShow RoboJeopary. While Spalding's statement is amusing to lots of people, others can't bring themselves to laugh at the Biebs after what he's been through.......

What was that again?

Oh, right. We asked several New Times writers to make their predictions for were Bieber will be in 2021. Whoever gets closest in a decade wins a monetary prize, payable in Chinese yuan.

"Bieber's real problems, of course, began the next year, when Biebs was busted with a manpurse full of oxycontin. His fans were hurt -- but not ready to desert him -- unfortunately, Barack Obama was not a fan of Bieber. Justin's unflattering impersonation of the president on late night television, which would have been seen as a major provocation toward war if done by a major star from a country less friendly than Canada, was the start of the president's antipathy. However, watching as his pre-teen daughters worship the little brat really pushed him over. 'If Sasha plays that stupid My Worlds Acoustic one more fucking time, I'll nuke Toronto...' Though he was under intense fire from political opponents and risked a major scandal if anyone found out about it, Obama ordered civil servants in the department of Immigration and Naturalization Services to use the incident as a pretext for banning Bieber from acquiring a work visa forever. And convince other friendly nations to follow suit. Other than the occasional show in Havana, Bieber was therefore confined to the Snowy North. He took up cross-country skiing in a vain attempt to keep his girlish figure after finally giving up Rx drugs but froze to death and was eaten by a polar bear." -- Martin Cizmar

"After being fired as Dragon Force's lead singer and the subsequent heart attacks from complications arising due to his famous and very serious meth addiction, Bieber finally found his true calling as the third-cutest Foot Locker salesman in Cleveland's Parmatown Mall." --Shawn Anderson

"When his infomercial appearances begin to wane and VH1 won't book him as a talking head, Bieber grudgingly decides to start creating sex tapes with his 30-something fans out of his seedy apartment in Torrance, California. He subsequently makes appearances on Bubba the Love Sponge's internet radio show shilling tapes like Bieber in My Beaver in order to scrape together some rent money." -- Benjamin Leatherman

"I'm no cynic here -- I think Justin Bieber is an affable young man who is as charming as he is gracious towards his insane fan base. Did he deserve to beat Esperanza Spalding -- from my hometown of Portland, Oregon? Well, as per the way of the Grammys in recent years, yes -- overwhelmingly so. Yet he didn't win. The voters went with a dark horse in Spalding, and history may prove that to be the right choice.

Biebs reminds me most of a Leif Garrett/Andy Gibb type -- plenty of talent and a crazed fan base at such a young age. Garrett was 16 when he released his first album, Gibb 18. They both went on to have celebrated careers that were both undone in most unsavory ways. Garrett's drug addiction overtook his life while Gibb didn't live past the age of 30 -- a tragic victim to myocarditis. History, then, says that Bieber's run at stardom won't last long.

Let me give you two examples of teen idol musicians still working today -- Justin Timberlake and Donnie Wahlberg. While Bieber definitely has the talent of Timberlake, his career path would be insanely difficult to replicate. Wahlberg's, on the other hand, is something more realistic. From New Kids On The Block to starring in CBS' Blue Bloods, Wahlberg has shown what it's like to be a teen idol who can still make a living from his many talents, mainly his acting.

So there you have it -- I think Justin Bieber is the Donnie Wahlberg of his generation. Only time -- and, perhaps, genetics -- will tell his future." -- Michael Lopez

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3 comments
MusicLove
MusicLove

u cant predict somebody's hard fall from fame just like u cant predict the future or cant predict the next time u fall off of ur bike. Saying that his hard fall from fame is in 2021 is bullying and nobody appreciates that.

malcolmkyle
malcolmkyle

Alcohol prohibition in the US run from 1919 to 1933 - Now google 'The Great Wall Street Crash' and see when that happened!

During alcohol prohibition, all profits went to enrich thugs and criminals. Young men died every day on inner-city streets while battling over turf. A fortune was wasted on enforcement that could have gone on education etc. On top of the budget-busting prosecution and incarceration costs, billions in taxes were lost. Finally the economy collapsed. Sound familiar?

http://1929crash.com/

China has recently been in negotiation with a number of countries, asking them to replace the Dollar with the Chinese Yuan as their reserve currency. This, when it happens, will remove the Federal Government's ability to keep printing cash to cover the trillions it costs to fund prohibition. It’ll bring true freedom but the transition period will be more hectic than a slasher movie. It never had to be this way; we should have learned our lesson from studying the mayhem that alcohol prohibition wreaked on us.

We all have our victories and defeats as regards fear, but most of us strive not to let fear rule our hearts or our minds. Being free means being free to live and love as if death and fear had no power over us. Freedom also means that we have an ethical and moral responsibility to expose blind hate, lies and ignorance by shining eternal light, truth and love, sending such dark forces fleeing to the shadows from whence they came.

We explore outer space with various forms of space craft, but many choose to explore inner space via nature's abundant chemistry - an infinite journey into the heart of God. Whatever, we are here to explore this glorious universe. The Prohibitionist's brand of hateful, choking pseudo-Conservatism is the antithesis of all that. Like a lion who cannot grasp that he can do more than walk in a circle the size of the cage he's recently been freed from, the prohibitionist is incapable of exploration beyond the boundaries of his own fear, prejudice and loathing. We are all free to choose how we walk our own path, but when we choose to go beyond this by supporting drug-war demagoguery, to the point of even threatening others with imprisonment and physical violence, we loose the right to expect any form of respect from the once free and prosperous society that we are helping to totally destroy.

Thanks to prohibition we're about to lose all semblance of that once ordered, prosperous and safe society. Myself, along with many others, have been debating prohibitionists on this for many years. We have shown what destruction prohibition has wrought on all the civil institutions of this once great nation, -we've always provided facts and statistics - they, the prohibitionists, have countered with either lies, personal abuse or even serious threats of violence.

Ending the insanity of drug prohibition by legalized regulation, respecting the rights of the responsible users and focusing on addiction as a sickness, like we do with alcohol and tobacco, may save what remains of our economy and civil institutions along with countless lives and livelihoods. Prohibition continues unabated for shameful political reasons. It cannot, and never will, reduce drug use or addiction.

Prohibition has permanently scarred our national character as well as our individual psyches. Our national policies and cultural practices have become pervaded by the fascistic, prohibitionist mind-set which has turned our domestic police force into a bunch of paramilitary thugs who often commit extra-judicial beatings and executions while running roughshod over our rights in order to "protect us from ourselves".

When we eventually manage to put the horrors of this moronothon behind us, we'll need to engage in some very deep and honest soul-searching as to what we want to be as a nation. Many of our freedoms have been severely circumscribed or lost altogether, our economy has been trashed and our international reputation for being "free and fair" has been dragged through a putrid sewer by vicious narrow-minded drug warrior zealots who are ignorant of abstract concepts such as truth, justice and decency. We'll need to make sure that such a catastrophe is never ever repeated. This may mean that public hearings or tribunals will be held where those who’ve been the instigators and cheerleaders of this abomination will have to answer for their serious crimes against our once prosperous and proud nation.

Each day you remain silent, you help to destroy the Constitution, fill the prisons with our children, and empower terrorists and criminals worldwide while wasting hundreds of billions of your own tax dollars. Prohibition bears many strong and startling similarities to Torquemada­'s inquisition­, it's supporters are servants of tyranny and hate. If you're aware of but not enraged by it's shear waste and cruel atrocities then both your heart and soul must surely be dead.

Millions of fearless Egyptians have recently shown us that recognizing oppression also carries the weight of responsibility to act upon and oppose that oppression.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

This is what happens when a popular recreational drug is prohibited:

Many social problems have been attributed to the Prohibition era. Mafia groups limited their activities to gambling and theft until 1920, when organized bootlegging manifested in response to the effect of Prohibition.[29] A profitable, often violent, black market for alcohol flourished. Powerful gangs corrupted law enforcement agencies, leading to racketeering. In essence prohibition provided a financial basis for organized crime to flourish.[30] Rather than reducing crime it seemed prohibition had transformed the cities into battlegrounds between opposing bootlegging gangs. In a study of over 30 major U.S cities during the prohibition years of 1920 and 1921, the number of crimes increased by 24%. Additionally, theft and burglaries increased by 9%, homicide by 12.7%, assaults and battery rose by 13%, drug addiction by 44.6% and police department costs rose by 11.4%. It has been speculated that this was largely the result of “black-market violence” as well as law enforcing resources having been diverted elsewhere. Despite the beliefs of the prohibitionist movement that by outlawing alcohol crime would surely be reduced,the reality was that the Volstead act lead to worse social conditions than were experienced prior to prohibition as demonstrated by more lethal forms of alcohol, increased crime rates, and the establishment of a black market dominated by criminal organizations.

From Wikipedia.

BTW - The Egyptian "revolt" - not so much. The military was in charge before and is still in charge - Mubarak was just a figurehead to provide an easier way to envison the power in the Nation of Egypt. Those fools didn't change a friggin thing.

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