Juggalettes Gone Wicked: 10 Chicks You'll Admit Are Hot Even Though They Love Insane Clown Posse
The 11th Annual Gathering of the Jugglos is right around the corner. Don't know what that is? Well, consider yourself lucky. Actually, let me ruin it for you. Watch this. OK, now that you have descended into the mouth of madness with me let's move on.
If there is one thing I can't stand it's Juggalos. Don't get me wrong, I am all for people getting together and having a good time. But from what I can tell, the "family" that has grown up around the Insane Clown Posse over the last 15 years is a celebration of mediocrity.
In fact, I am pretty sure they purposely chose something terrible to be a part of so they can all get together and defend its horribleness, like a pack of orcs defending Mordor... or something like that. That being said you can't really blame someone for wanting to be a part of something bigger than themselves. If it wasn't for that deep-seeded human desire we wouldn't have awesome stuff like Crips or Bloods.
If you stop and really think about it, Juggalos could very well end up being the future of our society. The economy going down the shitter like this points to the inevitable apocalypse. Juggalos might be the only organized group left with the knowledge needed to live off nothing but Twinkies and Faygo. And, since some scientists say Twinkies and Faygo are the only food stuff expected to survive a nuclear strike, I would suggest stashing some face paint away in a safe place, learning how to braid Caucasian hair into corn rows and practicing your "whoop, whoops."
Assimilate or die. Am I right, folks?
But, seriously, there just HAS to be some redeeming qualities, something I can get behind to justify this craziness. And I think I have... Juggalettes!
I went on a worldwide hunt for hot female, face painted "Juggalettes" (or "Ninjettes" as they are sometimes called) and found 10 chicks who you'll agree are kinda hot, even if you're ashamed of yourself for admitting so.
Fortunately for all of us, it looks like the Juggalo community hasn't made the collective jump to Facebook yet, preferring to wonder about the magic of magnets on Ye Olde Myspace, thereby allowing me to cyberstalk without the fbook privacy stuff. Let's take a look at the best of what I found...
Pumkinlette: Pumkinlette more like "Pumkin please lette me out of the trunk of your car!"
Pertinent info: "I am a frigid bitch...case closed. If you ask me for nude pics, the answer is and will always be...HELL NO. I'm married someone who is highly trained with his weapon and accurate up to 1500 M."
Miss Kisa: She can obviously get backstage at The Gathering. Leaving with her dignity and health intact? Only time will tell.
Pertinent info: "Who I'd like to meet: People who are fucking real and not afraid to speak their mind. Porn Stars, weed smokers, rappers, models, cool ass people who DGAF!"