Violent J Explains "Miracles," Invites Haters to "Have a Dick For Dinner"

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Fuckin' miracles...
​Detroit-based rapping clowns/bon vivants Insane Clown Posse have a new song, "Miracles," the video for which is something that only comes along once in a lifetime.

By now, everyone has become accustomed to the bewildered duo and their fascination with giraffes, crows and magnets. The lyrics for "Miracles" have become quite a topic of conversation -- mainly for people's general confusion as to why two grown men who paint their faces like clowns and rap about killing dudes and necrophilia have all the sudden gotten wise and querulous in their old age.

While the easy answer to why Messrs. J and 2 Dope recorded "Miracles" is because they are fucking geniuses, Violent J still took the time to sit down with the decidedly biased Hachet Herald to elaborate on the song and all those who find it necessary to be haters.

In an article titled "The Buzz On 'Miracles,'" Violent J -- if you don't know by now, one half of the Insane Clown Posse -- helps key us fascinated listeners in on the subtle inner-workings of how to craft a masterpiece. He first tackles what he believes to be a miracle: 

I don't know what Webster's definition of the word "miracle" is, but we've always thought it meant something fuckin' amazing and incredible. A fuckin' special, awesome event of some kind. A great, wonderful thing. A fuckin' miracle.

Kudos to the young person transcribing what Violent J is saying, making sure to put apostrophes whenever J says "fuckin'." J moves on, however, explaining what has become the song's most memorable line, "Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?," offering up perhaps the strongest directive for those who oppose whatever the ICP is laying down (aka the "haters"): 
As for the infamous line, "fuckin' magnets... how do they work?" Magnets were like magic to me as a kid. You could move things across the table without actually touching them! I found that shit amazing and I still do. If you don't like that, have a dick for dinner.

You hear that, haters? Violent J just told your big, dumb popular jock-ass to eat a dick -- a dick -- for dinner. I hate to say it, but you just got told, my ninja.

Between all the scientist-hating and the dick-eating, Violent J's explanation of his smash hit "Miracles" is a worthwhile read. I always take the time to read the Hachet Herald first thing in the morning, and I suggest you all start doing the same. 

The most brilliant part of the article, if you will, is Violent J's signature/sign-off:

Violent J 
The Happy Clown Serial Killer

I'll tell you what's a motherfucking miracle -- that I haven't been signing my letters as "The Happy Clown Serial Killer" -- until now, that is.


BONUS ICP CONTENT, WOOP WOOP:

You know the madness usually doesn't just end at one thing with the ICP. These damn things usually come in threes, so please enjoy this compilation of the 12 Most Outrageous Insane Clown Posse Lyrics, brought to you by Matt Stopera via Buzzfeed. I, for one, am just glad someone finally had the balls to say, "Fuck Lyle Lovett, whoever the fuck that is." This is me applauding. 

Also, please enjoy this bonus video, compliments of EPICponyz (yet again), that shows Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope unknowing hawking Glade Plug-Ins:


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