Henry Rollins' 8 Most Memorable Quips Last Night at Marquee Theatre
Until last night, that is. Probably right around the moment he uttered the following during his spoken word appearance at the Marquee Theatre:
"What am I doing? I'm getting turned on by a guy? I'm not being a good judge! I'm not gay! I'm not gay!"
Are you sure about that one, Hank? If you're wondering what the hell the 49-year-old punk rock icon was referring to, it was his recent stint as a celebrity judge on the second season of RuPaul's reality game show Drag Race. In one episode, Rollins was impressed by the dancing skills of a certain female illusionist who dressed in punk rock gear, and he admitted to the Tempe crowd that it was also a wee bit, er, stimulating.
It was a hilarious and scandalous confession (which, all joking aside, was probably just a gag), and just one of many memorable bits from a non-stop monologue that lasted close to three hours.
Rollins covered a lot of ground in that time, including stories about his latest travels to Asia and Africa last year, memories of giving the commencement speech at Sonoma College in California, and even advocating the free speech of his most hated enemies.
I've whittled down his long-winded-yet-entertaining tales down to the eight quips that stood out the most, including an equally shocking follow-up to Punk Rock Guy. (Each is presented in its appropriate context.)
8. "I want to cut the top off critics' heads and use them for soup bowls. That's how I roll."
Context: At the beginning of the evening (and just prior to his defense that David Duke, Pat Robertson, and Rush Limbaugh each deserve First Amendment protection), Henry went on a funny tangent about some of his detractors and anonymous shit-talking on the Internets. (Sure hope he never reads this post, as I don't want my skull holding his stew).
7. "Hey, Mr. Shwe! Waaaaah!"
Context: During a trip to Sri Lanka last year, Rollins happened to cross paths with Senior General Than Shwe (a.k.a. the dictator who rules Myanmar with an iron fist) at a hotel. After the loathsome leader entered a limo, Hank claims, he uttered the above quote while flipping a bird.
6. "So, we were rocking out to Sri Lankan death metal -- hailing Satan, like you do -- and his mom walks in with cookies and juice."
Context: Another highlight of said excursion was staying with a local family and bonding with their teenage son over music. The lad got the ultimate gift from his guest: A chance to download 4.5 gigs worth of MP3s from Rollins' hard drive. His favorite band? The Stooges.