10 Things Under $10 This Weekend: Santarchy, Joe Strummer, and Roller Girls

Jonathan McNamara

The annual Santarchy affair will fill the streets of Scottsdale with kooky Kris Kringle clones on Saturday.

​When Clement Clarke Moore first penned The Night Before Christmas in 1823 (and thus, gave birth to many of the conceptions associated with Jolly Old Saint Nick), the Victorian-era scribe probably could never have thought it would've resulted in this:

More than 100 freaky folks dressed as Kris Kringle will descend upon the bars and clubs of Old Town Scottsdale on Saturday evening during the annual outrageous event known as Santarchy. Organized by the Arizona Cacophony Society, this bizarre bar crawl promises an evening of merry mischief making by countless faux Father Christmases at such drinkeries as Dos Gringos and Upper Deck Sports Grill.

But if getting soused whilst dressed as St. Nicholas isn't your particular bag, there are plenty of other low-cost/no-cost holiday hootenannies to participate in this weekend. Read on for the full rundown.

Christmas Formal at Yucca Tap Room (Friday)
As a high schooler, you either dreaded or delighted in attending the yearly Winter Formal. If you're feeling like the former, it's no surprise why: Dancing awkwardly to crappy music with ugly classmates while wearing itchy sweaters in an attempt to be social. Ugh, what's not to hate. Thankfully, the Yucca Tap's version of this annual exercise in awfulness is a whole lot more cool: The Liar's Handshake, Matthew Reveles, Mergence, What Laura Says, and Dry River Yacht Club will be performing, and those who bring a canned food donation nab a free glass of champagne. Righteous. 9 p.m., free. (29 W. Southern Ave., Tempe, 480-967-4777)

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party at Club Mardi Gras (Saturday)
Since we're on the subject of awful sweaters, if you happen to have one of those knitted nasties kicking around your closet, put it to good use at this Saturday night affair, which features music from March Against Fear, Slowpoke, Neba, Wizards of Time, and Snake Burner. Those wearing with the most hideous pullovers will be rewarded with a prize. 7 p.m., free. (8040 E. McDowell Rd., Scottsdale, 480-970-5707)

Santarchy in Scottsdale (Saturday)

While this year's version of the outrageous event doesn't officially begin until the evening, participants will be riding a bus around downtown Scottsdale while dressed as the great jolly one starting at 1 p.m. The official mustering follows at 5 p.m. at the parking garage located behind Dos Gringos along Third Avenue. An after-party will also be held starting at 10 p.m. (just in case you aren't completely wasted by then). Visit AZ Cacophony's site for full details.

Joe Strummer Memorial at George & Dragon (Saturday)
Stalwart local punk icon Keith Jackson, vocalist/guitarist for PHX's Glass Heroes, is arguably the biggest Joe Strummer fan in the entire Valley. So much so that he puts on an annual tribute show (which benefits the Joe Strummer Foundation for New Music) in honor of the late frontman for The Clash at downtown Phoenix's George & Dragon pub. In addition to Glass Heroes, this year's version offers performances by Symbol Six, Plainfield Butchers, Labor Party, Automatic Erasers, and others. 8 p.m., $5. (4240 N. Central Ave., 602-241-0018)

Crystal Antlers at Trunk Space (Saturday)
Tastemakers are split over these Long Beach, California-based psych-rockers and their debut long-play, Tentacles. Some reviewers and bloggers insist that the album picks up precisely where the band's self-released, untitled EP (2008) left off -- namely, in a state of feverish musical ass-kicking. Others suggest that the speedier Tentacles backtracks a smidge -- that it's the work of a talented noise-prog-punk sextet that hasn't quite learned to synthesize and studio-ize the expansive magic of its live shows. However, on one particular issue, all parties concur: In the wake of Crystal Castles, the Crystal Method, Crystal Gayle, et al., Crystal Antlers is a crap handle for a band. "Oh, shit . . . I might have to listen to a band with 'crystal' in its name," one unnamed poster lamented after reading a favorable online review of Tentacles. "Gonna be hard to come to terms with that." Hmm, maybe. Remember, some of us had to suffer the "Jesus" band-name craze of the early '90s, which meant finding a way to give The Jesus Lizard a fair shake during the heyday of Jesus Jones. Now that was like walking on water. 7 p.m., $8. (1506 Grand Avenue, 602-256-6006) -- Craig Outhier