Shakira Just Needs to Stop
I mean, don't get me wrong, the Colombian pop singer is gorgeous, but she sounds like a dying horse when she sings.
It's really difficult to sing along to any of her music, which, for some reason, consistently finds its way onto top 40 radio stations.
When she's not moaning, howling or grunting in her music to sell her songs with sex, you can't understand what she's singing. She also has a terrible wavering quality to her voice that makes me scared that I'm going to have a seizure at any minute.Her songs sound mildly better when she's singing in Spanish, but even then, the quality is dismal.
Maybe the atrocious English songs are so bad because she just has a problem enunciating English words. And maybe she's only in business because she shakes her hips and wears nude body suits in her videos.
Whatever the reason, Shakira must be stopped. Her latest appearance on a recent cover of Rolling Stone is outrageously unjustified, and I'd be a lot happier if she just started modeling--something she'd be way better at than singing.
So, readers, for the love of gosh, stop buying Shakira's music. Stop requesting her on the radio. Don't let her pretty face fool you that she isn't tone deaf. And maybe she'll get the hint and quit the music industry, which would make my ears very thankful.