Geek to Pinup: The Provocatease Project

Categories: Geek Beat

What nerdy outcast doesn't dream of being an exotic burlesque beauty? The perfect curly hair. The sexy costumes. The fuck-me-red lipstick on a pouty mouth that won't quit -- wink, wink. Not that every girl geek is saddled with pizza-face acne scars or huge coke-bottle glasses, but even for the aveage geek girl, the idea of becoming one of these sexy vintage-Hollywood starlets seems nigh impossible. Right?

Thumbnail image for provocatease1.jpg
Anna "The Red Tease" in action.
Turns out some of our local burlesque hotties are actually real-life geeks. They crochet. They do crafts. They love books. Some of them are fans of Star Trek or Firefly. You don't have to be naturally gorgeous to be a burleque dancer, says Provocatease Burlesque troupe member Lolli VonLingus. "You could be somebody who normally woudn't turn a head, but if you're on stage and you have really strong confidence, people will remember you." 

So confidence is pretty much all that's required. Ok, cute makeup and hair, too. Don't believe it? 


These are the "before" and "after" shots of Provocatease co-founder Susana -- aka Carmelle D'Light -- who graciously agreed to help us with a "Geek to Chic" burlesque makeover after the group's weekend show at The Trunk Space. Granted, she geek-ified herself for the "before" pic, but you can definitely see what's possible!


more pics of burlesque beauties and find out how to get Susana's hot pinup girl look after the jump...

The Makeup 

If you're makeup-shy, "go to the makeup counter at a department store and let them have their way with you," quips one of the Provocatease girls. Otherwise, try these tips.

Cake it on: Start with your regular foundation, and add a little dusting of translucent powder to set.


​​Curb the Chewbacca brows: "Shape them well," says Susana. "The eyebrow starts in line with your nose, where it peaks is diagonally in line with your iris, and where it ends is where the line is drawn from your nose to the outside of your eye." She also recommends Tweezer Man tweezers, and says they have a lifetime warranty.

White Power: For the eyes, use a shimmery white shadow under the brow, on the lid and in the inside corner of the eye. Line with black liner, curl your lashes with one of those lash-curling torture devices and use black mascara, or be lazy and just go with false lashes (we vote lazy).

Blushing Beauty: A little dab of cream blush on the apples of the cheeks will do you. (Whew! If this seems like a lot of steps, just remember when you're done with all this, guys will be lining up to do you!)


Red lipstick is haute, haute, haute:  But make sure yours doesn't look like some kid went crazy with a red crayon. "I love my red lipstick," Susana tells New Times, "but I've tried on some of the other girls and it doesn't look good." Pick a shade which works on YOU. If you have dark hair and cool-toned skin, try a blueish red. If you have warm-toned skin, pick a red with orange undertones.

Easy Pinup Girl Hair

  • ​Part your hair and start with a small section of hair at the front of your hairline above the ear. Spray the section with firm hold hairspray.

  • Take a hot ceramic curling iron and pull it from the roots to the ends of that section. (1-inch works best according to Susana, or smaller if you have short hair) Then roll the section up in a curl and hold it there for 30 seconds. Slowly unroll, and put the iron aside.
  • Using your fingers, roll the curl back up like a Slinky and pin it with a bobby pin to your head. Repeat the procedure with the rest of your hair until you have a group of large curls pinned to your head.

  • ​Let set for at least another 30 minutes and remove the bobby pins. Tousle hair and spray as necessary. There you have a perfect head of springy bombshell curls!!

Put on a killer outfit and your best "I'm really all that!" attitude and you're ready to do this:

Teasing temptress Lolli VonLingus bares it (almost) all.
But maybe just in the privacy of your own bedroom.

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