Renaissance Faire 102: Two Virgins and A Pregnant Man

Categories: Geek Beat

So, a friend of mine and I have a geeky debate raging over the entertainment at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. Personally, I think it's annoying to see the same performers doing the same shticks every year. I mean, how many times can you see Ded Bob "bobmotize" some hot chick and drool (if a skeleton puppet was actually capable of salivating) over her T&A? After 10 years of the same exact dialogue, I. am. bored.

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Ded Bob bonks guys too!

My friend, who's a performer by trade, insists that the shows need to stay the same because Ded Bob and London Broil and Dextre Tripp gain popularity by word of mouth. If I describe Ded Bob's infamous "bonking"  to my co-worker and the show's totally different when she goes to see it, she'll be disappointed. Plus, it takes a lot of time to create a new routine, and what if it totally bombs? There's a year of preparation totally wasted, and your tips -- by which you totally make your living -- plummet.

 

Yeah, OK, whatever. I still think they're just too lazy to come up with new material. But seriously, there's good news for the faithful Rennie geeks who frequent the faire every year. There are new jokes. New shticks. And -- gasp!, wait for it, wait for it -- NEW ACTS, one of which involves a pregnant dude. Highlights after the jump.   

 

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"Pull my finger!"

It's near impossible to find a virgin over legal age at the Renaissance Festival (see "Babes and Wenches of the Arizona Renaissance Festival"), but presumably there are at least two -- the ladies of Hey Nunnie Nunnie. In recent years, the pair have added a couple of fun props (like foam fingers, see video below!) and "commercial breaks" in-between their signature songs, including one where Sister Philomenia dons bread-loaf shoes to hawk "Loaves & Fishes" TV Dinners.
 


As with most of ARF's shows, the comedy duo throws in a couple of sexual innuendos and allusions to past lovers to keep the adults alert. You do have to wonder what they would ever do if one of them got preggers IRL though? It'd be hard to explain, but could definitely make for a more interesting show.


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Making girls fall asleep at will could be a helpful trick...

Speaking of which, don't miss out on Master Hypnotist Lord Franko's act -- new this year -- in which he hypnotizes a dozen or so audience members into thinking they're drunk, forgetting the number 8 exists and falling asleep on command. One poor guy was even hypnotized into thinking he was giving birth. Oh, did I mention the "poor guy" was my husband, who I convinced to volunteer when Franko came up short on victims? Yeah, I'm still paying for that one.

So you'll just have to watch this YouTube video of some schmuck at the Carolina Ren Fest going through the same ordeal (about 3:11 into the clip). And just remember that when you make your boyfriend volunteer for the show, it's gonna be really hard to explain this video to his future mom-in-law.


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