Bottoms Up: The Jimi Hendrix Liquid Experience Inspires InSIPid Humor
By Niki D’Andrea
Jimi Hendrix died 38 years ago, but his music lives on - and his merchandising does, too. Caffeine fiends can now drink a real “rock star” energy drink -- the “Jimi Hendrix Liquid Experience.” The flavorful brew was introduced last year by The Liquid Experience Group, a division of Beverage Concepts, LLC, and seems to be catching on in consumer land. The drink is available in seven states -- New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida, Nevada, California, and Arizona, and the company looks to expand its distribution over the next two years.
The drink itself tastes pretty good -- rather like carbonated Cherry Kool-Aid with a kick (that’d be 192 mg of caffeine, more than twice that of a Red Bull), and the can boasts a stunning silver and purple hazy design with an image of Hendrix in flames. (Personally, I’d have voted for the Hendrix-humping-an-amplifier image, but as Paris Hilton says, “Whatever.”)
But the concept of a rock icon-themed energy drink (along with the massive dose of caffeine) really got the wheels spinning in my head, and I started thinking about what other rock icons might make for interesting energy drink brands. Here’s a handful of hypotheticals:
Jerry Garcia’s Endless Jam Juice
The can design: Rainbow tie-dye with hopped-up Dancing Bears running in circles.
Tastes like: 100 tabs of Orange Barrel LSD.
Feels like: Hearing “Casey Jones” for five hours, and then wandering around a parking lot with bloodshot eyes for another three hours, trying to find your Volkswagon van.
John Bonham’s Big Banger
The can design: Holographic hermit that waves his staff when the can is turned to either side, surrounded by invented esoteric symbols.
Tastes like: Choking on your own vomit.
Feels like: A drumstick up the bum, or a red snapper fish up the…nevermind.
Axl Rose’s November Rain (To be touted for release every six months for the next ten years; actual release date unknown)
The can design: Explosive red waves writhing out from beneath sweaty leather pants.
Tastes like: Night Train brand bum wine.
Feels like: Ready to crash and burnnnn.
David Lee Roth’s Diamond Dew
The can design: Roth’s crotch in pink pleather pants, scaled to 20x its actual size.
Tastes like: A bittersweet band reunion.
Feels like: Running with the devil. Go ahead and jump.
Stevie Nicks’ Crystal Visions
The can design: Layers of glittery lace and chiffon, waving across the can in airy-fairy fashion.
Tastes like: The white-winged dove.
Feels like: Singing “Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh.”