Future $hock: The Cult, Ozzy, Rob Zombie, and more

Categories: Up On Sun

By Benjamin Leatherman

We’d like to take a moment to let y’all know that Future Shock is brought to you by “The King of Beers,” Budweiser; American Apparel; and Halo 3 for the Xbox 360. (Excuse us for a moment, we have our tongues stuck in our cheeks).

And just why have we whored out our blog to corporate interests, you ask? Well, we’ve been doing the underpaid music journalism thang for way too long now, and have finally decided to barter our street cred for a big fat paycheck, just like some of the musicians and bands that announced upcoming concerts here in they Valley over the next few months. In other words, this week’s edition of Future Shock is all about the sellouts, baby. This isn’t a critique of their musical talents, per se (as we’re fans of each and every one of these dudes), but instead is an outlining of those who’ve sold their souls to the company store.

So as we kick back with a delicious Corona in one hand and type this thing out on our fantastic new Apple iBook, let’s take a look-see at who’s been raking in the dough.

The Cult
With supporting acts VietNam, Action Action, and Smile Empty Soul
Sunday, October 21, 7 p.m.
Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix
Tickets cost $28 (on sale now, visit www.celebritytheatre.com)

Fans of the legendary British rock band collectively girded their loins a few years ago when they heard the Cult’s trademark jam “She Sells Sanctuary” being used in Nissan car commercial. Since then, the song’s also been used in the soundtrack for the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Plus, there’s the fact the band’s appearance at Celebrity Theatre is a part of the “Jägermeister Music Tour” (although we’re contractually obligated to tell you that we prefer the far tastier Ketel One to that particular stinky German liquor).

Random fact: Cult frontman Ian Astbury was reportedly offered the role of Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone’s 1991 biopic of The Doors. Obviously, Astbury declined and Val Kilmer eventually nabbed the role, though Astbury would fill Morrison's shoes when the Doors revived themselves for a tour under the name Riders on the Storm.

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Ozzy Osbourne and Rob Zombie
Wednesday, November 28, 7:30 p.m.
Jobing.com Arena in Glendale
Tickets cost $44.60 to $84.60 (on sale now, visit www.ticketmaster.com)

Sheesh, where do we start with these two? Rob’s songs – either from the White Zombie era or after he struck out on his own – have been used in more TV shows, video games, and movies than we can count. Ozzy has similarly subscribed to the theory of rock whoredom, whether it was through The Osbournes on MTV or his appearance in a Pepsi Twist commercial.

Random Rob Zombie fact: Zombie’s real name is Robert Cummings and he is the older brother of Michael Cummings (a.k.a. Spider One), the lead singer of Powerman 5000.

Random Ozzy Osbourne fact: Osbourne made an appearance at the WWE’s WrestleMania 2 in 1986, when he accompanied the British Bulldogs to the ring before their tag team time match again Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

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The Format
With supporting act Straylight Run
Wednesday, October 24, 6:30 p.m.
Gammage Auditorium in Tempe
Tickets cost $18 (on sale now, visit www.ticketmaster.com)

This one is kind of a toughie. Any kind of “selling out” The Format’s Nate Ruess and Sam Means have possibly done (like getting their songs on one-time MTV reality series Laguna Beach) is tempered by the fact that the band has eschewed major labels to distribute and promote their albums all by themselves (see “Format Busters,” Michele Laudig’s outstanding 2006 feature on the band, for more on the subject). That being said, The Format did appear on the execrable show My Super Sweet 16, so we reluctantly have to include them in our list.

Random fact: The Format’s first album, Interventions + Lullabies, was released on Elektra records.

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Rumor has it: According to Pollstar, Reggae superstars Zion I will be returning to Valley for a gig at the Brickhouse Theatre on November 15.

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