Up on the Sun: The Buzzards Have Elvis
by Matt Neff
Welcome to Up on the Sun, the new and improved New Times music blog. I am your new blog captain and man-on-the-scene, Matt Neff. As the new reporter on the, uhh, thriving Phoenix music scene, it’s my duty to inform you of what I plan to write about.
I like all kinds of music, but I’m mainly into rock music that is hard, heavy, noisy, weird, passionate, asymmetrical, unclassifiable, perverse, and full of negative energy. (If you must have names, that means Black Sabbath, the Birthday Party, Chrome, the Residents, the Stooges, the Velvets, Mission of Burma, Big Black, the Saints, the Flesh Eaters, the Who, PiL, the Screamers, Joy Division, the Urinals, etc.) I like underground culture, and I generally think the modern major music industry is a corrupt cash-besotted gorgon that’ll gladly crush regular people with its hordes of lawyers in order to preserve its own sense of economic power. But who cares about all that, right?! What's important above all is the MUSIC.
I don’t believe in objectivity when it comes to writing about music, so don’t expect a politically correct survey of every bullshit band that makes an honest artistic effort. I’m planning to write this sucker like a fanzine circa 1982, which means harsh, funny, and subjective. It’s important to realize that the people who get into music writing are always religious fanatics at heart, because they essentially want to make everyone like exactly what they like. This is undoubtedly one of the worst tendencies on the planet, but at least with matters of taste it doesn’t really hurt anyone. And in any case, it’s fun to argue! So please leave comments galore, and I’ll tell you why you’re completely wrong.
That being said, here are some of the stupendous new features you can enjoy on the blog:
-Next-day concert reviews
-Essays and observations
-Editorials and rants
-Corn chowder recipes
-Erotic Stevie Nicks fanfiction
Feel free to suggest any other features that would get you all hot and bothered. Thank you for your time! I am so excited to add my own unique voice to the wonderful medium of the internet. I hope that you will learn to know and love Up on the Sun like it was your own spawn and kin.
Law: if you want better media, go make it.
This man seems to understand just what I mean.