Marketing Lessons

Categories: Up On Sun
SiOP
The band SiOP's press release begins, "SiOP was formed in the summer of 1998 and has been on the rise ever since." Truth is, SiOP never left 1998 and its plethora of shit bands: Static-X, Papa Roach, Linkin Park, the Bizkit, etcetera.

Here's the goods on SiOP's latest album, Abnormality: It's a collection of "heavy" low-end tracks with monotonous vocals, and mid-tempo stuttering guitars countered by occasional double, triple, and quadruple meter drum breaks, with lyrics like, "You used to act so fucking cold/Now you're left out in the cold," (from "Pieces"). Nice rhyming guys.

But dull, derivative albums by local bands drop all the time (believe me, I have to suffer through many of them). This is a lesson in marketing. SiOP sent over a folder full of "selling points" which journalists, and I'm assuming, buyers for record stores, find completely stale and irrelevant.

Thing is, I don't care to see a list of the stations in Pittsburgh, KS (not the real Pittsburgh), Dubuque, IA, Penfield, NY, Dunmore, PA, and Omaha, NE that your song's been played on. And I straight laughed out loud at the attention the press release gives to the fact that one of the band's songs was featured on an episode of The Shield.

Another boring chunk of ephemera that we don't care about: what bands you've opened for. I've seen more bad fucking opening bands in my life than I care to remember. It says nothing about your band, except that you kissed someone's ass just right or have a good manager.

The band pimps the fact that it's multi-racial and multi-gender, which I don't care about either. There's a quote in the release, not attributed to any particular member, that says, "We are who we are, it is obvious we write for ourselves in hopes the industry will catch on and see our vision." Sorry, but your vision is one that happened in the past, just ask Puddle of Mudd and Staind.

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