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The weekend's almost here, and this particular Friday and Saturday there are a buttload of dope shows happening that you ought to be at. First, you're a damn fool if you miss the Casket Life, Liar's Handshake, Mike Skullbuster, the Revenge, and some NOFX cover band show at the Yucca Tap Room tonight. The show's free, and it's Casket Life's Ben Barnes birthday party, so it ought to be out of control.

It's also the kiss-off show before Casket Life hits up Motor Studios in San Francisco (owned by Fat Wreck Chords/NOFX emperor Fat Mike and now-local famed pop-punk producer Ryan Greene), "to record the most mediocre record that has ever emerged from this valley," according to the band. I spent some serious drinking time with the C.L. dudes on St. Patrick's Day, catching them twice live, and it's definitely one of the most exciting punk rock shows you can find around here.

Plus, the Liar's Handshake is always a good time - if you didn't catch my column this week on their St. Patrick's Day shenanigans, you can find it here. Just ignore the photograph, I didn't sign off on that shit.

Meanwhile, Saturday night you've got either Army of Robots and the Loveblisters at Last Exit, or the downtown Tempe neighborhood art party they're calling Too Doo. Since it's a house-art-party I'm not gonna give away more details on the locale, though you can probably find a flyer at Casey Moore's; the art shows are always a blast though, with live music, booze, and all the neighborhood (read: not students) freaks from Tempe.

In the meantime, while you wrap up your work week, here's a Casket Life song to get you in the mood...

"Shit's About to Get Romantic": http://media.newtimes.com/id/753832/

I've had Insects on the mind the last few days, and not just because the goddamn wasps are back using my pool to build their nests. Naw, these Insects are MC Brad B and producer Foundation from Drunken Immortals, the latest spinoff project from the prolific collective to hit the streets. In next week's issue of the paper, my column Revolver will delve into the relative importance of this new incarnation; in the meantime, this is why you should check out the project.

Number one, the entire album, Free the Hard Way, is exactly that - free. You can get it on the Myspace link above (there are three other Insects Myspace pages, to allow room for all of the songs), or try www.freethehardway.com, which was down the last time I checked. You'll have to wait for the column for my full analysis of the album, but you'll hear for yourself that it's not like anything they've done before, and really, not like much else out there.

The music is tough to classify, because it doesn't follow any of the usual hip-hop molds, whether mainstream or indie. "I like big butts too, but I don't feel the need to talk about it all the time," Foundation told me when we were busting the Q&A for the column. "I don't happen to have any jewelry — I can afford it, I make money, I'm not poor by any means. If you want to put a label on it, call me whatever you want, I don't give a shit. I'm making music, you can call me death metal."

It's not death metal, but it's a darker, more intense, welcome new element in the local hip-hop scene. Check it out yourself...

"Winds of Change": http://media.newtimes.com/id/752537/

"Devils Are Scared": http://media.newtimes.com/id/752543/

Seems that straight edge kids get a little sensitive when they're being made fun of, judging from this video of west side death metal purveyors E.T.T.S. razzing the sober ones. Check it...

Tonight promises to be a wild one at the Stray Cat's weekly BANNED! in Tempe night, with both DJ Johnny Volume and wanna-be-startender Tyler King celebrating their birthdays at the punk rock DJ night (which I wrote about here, if you're curious). Here's the word from Mr. King's computer on the evening's festivities:

Yes indeed, "Everyone Gets Leighed" @ BANNED In Tempe! No really you will all get "Leighed"...

DJ Johnny Volume & myself will get one year closer to retirement age so ya know what that means...Hawiian Shirts and blender drinks for all. Yes boys and girls a beach party.

Guys: Hawiian shirts, board shorts, flip flops, etc.

Gals: Coconut bras, grass skirts, swim attire, whatever you feel beach worthy (aka a reason to go shopping), of course as a guy I am hoping for more skin haha but its up to you all...

DJs: Johnny Volume will do the first half of the night until he cant see straight. DJ Lantzer (KYs Place) will close out the ceremonys and keep Tim from breaking stuff.

Drinks: Joe Firmma & I will be pouring (i'll probably be drinking more than pouring but oh well, its my party too). As well as a frozen drink machine, yep thats right we want Blue Icy Margeritas and we want em now...

Attitude: Laid back mon'...

Stray Cat. Weds March 28th. 9pm-?

I'll be there, if only to see Tyler King rocking a grass skirt...
Also, if you're bored, you can scope out all the AZPunkers spouting their opinions about me here. You've got to be hella bored though...

Things have been a bit quiet here at Ear Infection HQ over the last few days thanks to a fractured and sprained wrist that's been immobilized by an evil splint device which I've recently removed... There was some tomfoolery between brothers and instead of landing on my ass, which I should have, I tried to break the fall, succeeding only in fucking up my wrist. Then I waited ten days to see a doctor, one of which was the Liar's Handshake marathon where I was clapping my ass off, basically spiderwebbing my fracture. Nonetheless, the pain has mostly subsided and I've freed the hand from its captor. But whilst I was injured I whiled away my time at some kick ass shows. I caught the Impossible Ones CD release party at the Yucca Tap Room on Saturday and grabbed a CD; finally the band decided not to make me sound like a liar for printing a story about its reunion back last summer. The band didn't disappoint, I actually think that the live show is more fun than the CD; Neil doesn't sound so damn squealy. The highlight of the shows I saw was last Thursday, not long after the aforementioned belated doctor visit, when I got the Stray Cat just in time to see Hellas Mounds. It's basically the same guys who were in We Fly Our Kites at Night, but with a different bass player and doing a completely different style of music than the previous hyperactive scream-core they reveled in. Now it's all slow-core and ambient, like old school Slint. Apparently, due to some vocal chord constraints, the band is going completely instrumental soon, but at the show Thursday Marcus was still rocking the mic, sitting on a barstool in front of the stage hunched over facing the band. A couple of days later, Justin, the guitar player, rocked me down the two tracks the band has recorded while I smoked a cigarette in his truck. The tracks were awesome, and ought to make their way up in this piece sooner than later. Then again, as We Fly Our Kites at Night, this are the guys who named a song after something I said ("'I Want My Alcohol to Taste Like Alcohol, Not Candy' - BJK") and then never gave me a copy of the CD that it was on. So who knows. The band's playing at the Phix on April 13 with Clouds and Intronaut, don't miss that shit.

In last week's installment of my column Revolver in New Times, I issue a call to arms for DJ's to kick out mix cds and hit me up with them, because I don't see enough of that shit. Well, a few days ago when I was interviewing Brad B and Foundation of Drunken Immortals and the Insects, I was informed that D.I.'s DJ and Blunt Club resident Pickster Uno has kicked out ten different mix cds in the last three months. To that I say, hit me up Picks! I'm eagerly awaiting them.

And coincidentally, just today I got a package from an old Tempe roommate, Professor Anomaly (aka Brady Erchinger) who now lives in Seattle of seventeen mix cd's; actually they're series, one seven disc ensemble called 7 Wonders of the World, another seven disc collection called the 7 Deadly Sins, and a three disc set called Grande Huevos. Here's a selection from the Deadly Sins collection, this from Pride. DJ's — hit me off with that shit, I'll put it up here for all the interwebbers to hear...

2.http://media.newtimes.com/id/740757/
3.http://media.newtimes.com/id/740759/
4.http://media.newtimes.com/id/740780/
5.http://media.newtimes.com/id/740781/
6.http://media.newtimes.com/id/740784/

I was all gung-ho about hitting up the free Army of Robots/Back Ted N-Ted/Loveblisters show in Flagstaff at the Monte Vista tonight until I saw a physician yesterday who told me that my wrist and tibia were fractured and splinted my entire right arm until I can see an ortho specialist... Hence I'm in Vicodin-land, typing with one hand, kicking myself for not just suffering through it (the Vic's rule though...). Anyway, I hope a lot of you can go, and in the meanwhile, here's a Back Ted N-Ted featuring Mike Busse (of Chronic Future) video for you, for a song called Insects, directed by Ben Sheppee, for you to enjoy.

Also, you fans of the classic rock out there won't want to miss Barry "the Fish" Melton of Country Joe and the Fish on Saturday night at Mardi Gras with Restless Natives. That is, if you're not going to the free Impossible Ones CD release party at the Yucca. Here's a track from a 3/24/02 show live at Nita's Hideaway; I'm not sure what the title is, but it's Barry "the Fish" Melton with Harold Acevas and Rich Hopkins: http://media.newtimes.com/id/740688/

I told you last week about the marathon I was going to attempt with the Liar's Handshake on St. Patrick's Day - playing four different venues to four disparate crowds in the 24 hours that constitute the holiday. Since then I've been getting asked how it went - the short answer is, wait until next Thursday (3/29) and you can read all the sordid details in Revolver, my music column.

It was a championship effort by the boys though, and a few details didn't make it into the column that's running - like Nolan, the standup bass player, assisting in breaking a monstrous plate glass window on Scottsdale's Craftsman St and almost taking off Casket Life's Ben Barnes' hand in the process. Or getting so high in the parking lot of Frasher's Steakhouse that Nolan could barely stand, just prior to the Scottsdale Block Party gig. Or the fact that Billy lost his guitar somewhere in Scottsdale that night and had to improvise for the show the next day opening for Flogging Molly again at Mesa Amphitheatre.

All in all I was impressed as fuck though, and my body's still feeling the repercussions of the drinking and standing around all fucking day long. The Liar's Handshake proved themselves to be one of the premier acts in town - especially at Mesa Amphitheatre in front of a sold out crowd. Here's a song (Boston Eric's personal anthem) to give you a taste...

"Trading in Your Friends...": http://media.newtimes.com/id/739233/

And also, a reminder, that despite it having been last June that the Impossible Ones were telling me about their reunion and comeback CD, it's finally come to fruition and the album (which I have in front of me, finally) is being released this Saturday at a free show at the Yucca. You won't want to miss this one.

All the commotion on here lately regarding my distaste for Marshall "Fucking" Beck, formerly of the metal band Rebirth, seems to have left many metal heads (or at least Marshall's Myspace friends) under the impression that I either don't care about metal or don't appreciate the genre. Granted, I grew up as a punk rock kid, and in those days I didn't give a fuck really about metal — Metallica was ah-ight, y'know, but you had all this hair-band shit that overwhelmed the quality music that was coming out.

These days things have changed. The lines between hardcore and metal are often blurred, and you get some quality, thoughtful, complex metal bands kicking out some bad ass songs. The shit I like takes metal out of its usual parameters; bands like the Dillinger Escape Plan, The Red Chord, The Black Dahlia Murder, and locally, Job for a Cowboy totally kick my ass, and are breaking new ground.

Personally, I think Mr. Beck's bands Rebirth and Descend are recidivists; the first band he lists as a favorite is Pantera, and you can hear it in his band. Meanwhile, Job for a Cowboy is playing tonight in Nottingham in the U.K. with Unearth and Despised Icon, as part of a nearly month-long tour. And since this whole metal debate began, bands have been sending me their tracks, and I plan on posting the ones I like the best. Today's come from Fracture Point, I'll slip you more from other local bands as I sort through them.

"Rage Will Tear":http://media.newtimes.com/id/732920/

"Scars": http://media.newtimes.com/id/733008/

"Trapped Among the Fallen": http://media.newtimes.com/id/733054/

This is an early heads up so that if you can cruise up to Flagstaff on Friday, make plans now. Not only is it not in the 90s up there, Friday night at the Hotel Monte Vista (one of my favorite venues up there) Army of Robots, Back Ted N-Ted, and the Loveblisters are playing a free gig. I'll be there, though I'll have to haul ass back to town on Saturday for the annual Shadhinota Dibosh dinner/celebration I always hit up (that's to celebrate Bangladesh's liberation from Pakistan; no, I'm not Bangladeshi, but I have a good friend who is).

Anyway, that's three of the best local acts in comfortable climes, so carpool up with your homies and I'll see you up there. Meanwhile, since metal and the "metal scene" has been such an incendiary topic up in this bitch lately, I'm going to throw up some good local metal in a bit, so check back later today.

Mr. Marshall "fucking" Beck, "the most controversial motherfucker in the Arizona music scene" thought it'd be funny to print my home phone number and address up in this piece; which he can certainly do on Myspace, but not here, where I moderate what goes up. While we resolve this, I wanted to throw in another comment from one of his supporters named Andrea, who had this to tell me:

AWWWWWW WELL HERE ARE SOME MORE SYNONYMS FOR YOUR ARROGANT ASS, HUMP,FORNICATE,GET BUSSY,DO THE NASTY, SCREW , GET IT ON, COPULATE, COITUS, THE HORIZONTAL MAMBO, OR JUST PLAIN INTERCOURSE!!!!! GOOD ENOUGH OR SHOULD I KEEP ON GOING, YOU SAY YOU CANT WAIT, WELL WHEN AND WHERE? YOU ALL TALK WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!! YOU SHOULD THINK BEFORE YOU START SHIT WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE, FUCKING WRITE SOMETHING WORTH WAISTING MY TIME TO READ, YOU THOUGHT FUCKING WITH MARSHALL WAS A BAD IDEA YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED!!!! DONT WORRY ILL FINISH IT FOR YOU!! OH PS FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!

Did something touch a nerve Andrea? Music criticism gets you that excited? I have no idea what I just started? Oh my, I should have thought "before I started shit with the wrong people," nevermind that no one ever contacted Marshall in the first place, he got butt hurt because no one wanted to review his album. Finish it for me? Is that like a happy ending? And as for thinking that starting shit with Marshall was a bad idea (keep in mind, I would have never known who he was until he started this), you're right, I have no idea what I started... shaking in my Adidas right now.

By the way, Andrea, and any other fanatical Marshall Beck supporters, you'd do yourself a favor to read Arizona Revised Statute (umm, that's the law dumbasses) �13-2921. And watch what you're threatening. You have no clue who you're fucking with and what the consequences could be. Keep it up though, I love lawsuits and the attorneys are monitoring this. Metal up your ass!!!

I wasn't sure what to do tomorrow for Saint Patrick's Day; I'm Irish as fuck, but my local Irish pub, Casey Moore's, is a madhouse on 3/17, with souped up prices and a bunch of jackasses crowding the place. Another alternative had to found.

Luckily, I saw Jared from the Liar's Handshake last night and we concocted a plan where I'd shadow the band throughout its three-show day, watching to see if they can manage to stay sober enough to make it to the third show. There's a Liar's Handshake tradition (that I've happily participated in) where everyone slams a 40 of Mickey's before their set; that doesn't include all of the other beverages usually imbibed.

At ten a.m. the Liars will be playing the block party in front of Seamus McCaffreys in downtown Phoenix, rocking a two hour set. Later in the day, the band opens for Flogging Molly at Mesa Amphitheatre, and later still, the Liar's Handshake is headlining Scottsdale's St. Paddy's Day block party. Now that should be some funny shit, watching manager Sean Shepherd try to wrangle the boys away from the booze and get them loaded up and to the next venue on time. I'll let you know how it goes.

The Marshall Beck "Mr. Controversial" debate continues to rage on Ear Infection, thanks in great part to his admittedly posting Myspace bulletins to his 45,000 friends. (PEN15 wrote "I WISH THIS WOULD STOP SO I DONT HAVE TO SEE 26 MYSPACE POSTS A DAY BY MARSHALL BECK," so we know where all the comments are coming from.) I've read and re-read my posts and the comments, and I will admit this: on the interweb/blog thing, I'm a lot more likely to throw around words like "pussy" and other pejoratives. And some of Marshall's fans, like Andrea, have gotten their panties really bunched up over the matter, writing shit like,

HONESTLY fucking talk shit about my friend once more brendan so help you god, since you are just god damn talk and i know you wont meet me or marshall face to face get over your sorry fucking self and find something new to bitch and groan about!!! why dont you write somemore bull shit stories about anna nicole smith i mean thats smart talk about someone who is dead so they cant kick your ass the way i want to, god your job is like scooping dog shit up in a dog park, you have no talent and you are ignorant you trash talk people who do nothing but good for the music scene and instead try and put them in some bad sorta light thinking if you make them look bad and try and give them negative attention maybe they wont be as cool as they are, sorry buddy but marshall fucking beck is a fun smart big hearted easy going, down to earth guy and you can talk as much trash as you want but all you are doing is giving him attention and making him and his kick ass bands more known so i guess thanks bc he deserves all the publicity he can get and i hope everyone takes a listen to his music and all you do is help make him more famous and help his bands grow!!! but you still need to either man the fuck up and take the ass beating you have coming for even thinking that you could talk shit about someone like marsh and get away with it or know that one day i will meet you or find you and you and i will have a talk and have to work this out one way or another!! until your next lame ass attempted of slander fuck you you fucking dumb fuck

Can't wait, Andrea, I'll bring you a thesaurus so you can find some new synonyms for "fuck."

Anyway, in the meantime, I emailed Marshall personally, to basically remind him that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. This was his response:

lol... dude I wouldn't waste my time with you or the New Times. You guys are a little fish in the world, especially the metal one, I have much bigger ones to fry. You publicly attacked me when I asked you guys to assist me in doing something good for the community, so I simply posted a few bulletins to my collective 45,000 friends on myspace to see what they thought of it and you got the reaction you did. I'm not special forces but I was one of the top amateur boxers in the state of Arizona a few years back, the only reason I never went pro was because I wanted to pursue music more passionately. You calling me a pussy was extremely ridiculous because everyone, myself included, knows that I am anything but. Anyways, I could careless about all the blogging although I did enjoy reading some of the comments and appreciated the free press. I'd much rather receive negative press from you guys anyways because controversy sells and draws intrigue. - Marshall

My point is this Marshall — you're worried about Madhouse's venue, you wanted to let myself and New Times know so that we can help a venue out if possible; not a bad strategy, but you already acted like a cocksucker to the very same people you're trying to recruit to a cause.

People in the music industry locally who care — you, me, journalists, promoters, club owners, other musicians — are the ones who put sweat and energy into fixing problems like that. So it's best if you make friends or at least cordial acquaintances with your fellow enthusiasts. If that were the case, if you'd not encouraged a phalanx of myspacers to call one of our writers a cunt, we'd be a lot more receptive to emails like the one you sent. It's just logic, humanity, and empathy. I doubt that we're on opposite sides of many issues, we probably agree on a lot, but if you come at me, other writers at my paper, or other people in the industry like an arrogant pissant, you'll get nowhere. You'll just look like a self-absorbed jackass pissed off because no one listened to what the great "controversial" Marshall Beck had to whine about. Wrong strategy. Really, try the other method, hang out with other people who care whether they're metalheads, fans of yours, or whatever. You'll be amazed how much easier (but less fun than these internet wars, I'll grant you that) getting your points across is.

You admit, flaming one another is fun for both of us, and I'm down to battle on the internet with anyone who disagrees with my opinions (hopefully I do it thoughtfully and with a great deal of consideration to the subject), but if you really care about things like Madhouse's situation, you need a different technique. Hopefully other folks with similarly passionate concerns will learn from your lesson — don't start out being an asshole and then pretend that didn't happen just because your intentions are good. Good luck buddy.

Due to space limitations in the print version of New Times, there are a lot of local records that we can't fit into the music section. That's why here, on Ear Infection, I try to turn you on or steer you away from certain acts and albums.

The latest truly stellar album I've gotten is by Wormwood Brothers, entitled Spider Lake. The band calls its music "dustcore," which is an appropriate description for this desert/country assemblage of depressing drinking songs. It's not what I'd call "y'all-ternative;" it sticks to traditional styles ranging from early Neil Young to modern purveyors of the sound like My Morning Jacket. Here are a couple of my favorites:

"Trigger Happy": http://media.newtimes.com/id/719720/

"Just Like John Lennon Said": http://media.newtimes.com/id/719724/

On the other end of the spectrum, you've got pap like The Tryst (a Tucson band), who claim the name stands for TheRevolutionYouunderStartsToday, which makes no sense to me at all. Once I threw on the band's latest album Thirsty World, I threw up a little in my mouth. It's complete pap, a collection of jazzy upbeat numbers that bite some world rhythms and attempts at funkyness. Singer Keli Carpenter sounds like she belongs in a poetry slam half of the time, and puts way too much effort into sounding "ethereal" (as the press release describes her vocals). I'm not sure if The Tryst wants to join up on the jam band circuit or become a cabaret act, but in either case, the band's got a long way to go. See for yourself:

"Fallen": http://media.newtimes.com/id/719997/

"Take Back the Day": http://media.newtimes.com/id/720000/

Marshall "Fucking" Beck and his army of internet-tards still have their panties in a bunch about my recent posts involving him and Madhouse Records, found here and here.

Beck wrote, "Although I do find humor in the fact that you call me a pussy from behind the computer screen and leave your name off the column. It's to bad I would have had fun paying you a visit down there at your work in front of all your co-workers and your beloved Michelle."

My name's straight across the top of the screen when you go to Ear Infection (http://phoenixnewtimes.com/blogs/?cat=4). Brendan Joel Kelley - it's not a mystery who writes this blog. And come on down to the office - I don't work out of there but I'm sure security would have fun with you and your little veiled threats (made from behind a computer screen, of course). You gotta understand man, any valid points you have to make are negated by your abrasive assholeish attitude. So no one pays attention to little bitches who just like to blather on about what an asset to the music scene they are while you're acting like a douchebag. Learn some people skills homey; this industry, and rock criticism especially, doesn't respond well to chest-pounding and nut-grabbing. That's why your cheese-metal bands don't go anywhere.

I've gotta say though, it's been fun hearing from all of your teenage brigade of supporters who actually think you're some sort of rock star. Much like the fake Anna Nicole Smith story we ran on the cover last week, it just shows you how many gullible, naive dumbfucks are out there. Thanks for not disappointing.