Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who weighs in weekly with his mildly rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he tells a little baseball story in honor of opening day

The worst thing about being a youth baseball coach is that I never get to hit.

It's almost the only negative part. As I talked about the Little League of Our Own blog, baseball is a big part of Wileysworld, and I have really loved being a coach for the past eight years.

You see, even though I'm 48 years old, I still get to be part of the game and spend time with my boys. I play catch. I get to pitch batting practice. I coach third base. I'm in the dugout, deep into every aspect of the game.

But I don't get to hit. It stinks.

See also:
- Parent Hood: The Art of the Eye Roll and Three "When I Was a Kid" Thoughts.
- Parent Hood: Five Reasons to NOT Have Kids.

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who weighs in weekly with his mildly rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he attempts to talk you out of being a parent

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You Sure You Want to Have Kids?

If you have read this blog before, then you know that overall being a parent is the most important role in my (and most parents') life. Over the past four months, I've tried to elaborate on all the great emotions, lessons, and rewards of being a Dad.

But that doesn't mean you should do it.

After expanding on "I Love You" in last week's post (Parenting Three Words at a Time), I got to thinking, "Man, you are a sappy bastard." Even though I stand behind every word of it, I then thought, "You could easily write a Parent Hood list of all the annoying stuff that goes with parenthood."

So without further ado, here it is. Five reasons you should think twice before becoming a parent:

See also:
- Parent Hood: Steve Wiley Has Fun with "When I Was Just A Kid"
- Parent Hood: Five Realities of Being a Parent

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week, he lists some powerful-yet-short statements for kids with short attention spans.

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Short Attention Spans, Big Messages
The following is not an understatement: Kids have short attention spans.

Yeah, I know, I'm Captain Obvious to most of my parental comrades out there, but you parental wanna-bes might not entirely understand just how short.

See also:
- - Parent Hood: Steve Wiley Has Fun with "When I Was Just A Kid"
- - Parent Hood: What to Do When Your Kids are Corporate Branding Machines

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week, he breaks a childhood oath and lets fly with a few "when I was a kid" thoughts

Tell Us About When You Were a Kid, Dad

I remember being a kid and hearing adults say "When I was a kid..."

Of course, what usually followed was some sort of comparison between the two time periods, usually highlighting how much easier us stinkin' kids had it than those hardship-laden adults did in their day.

See also:
- Parent Hood: Discussing Your Rowdy Past with Your Kids and a Punk Legend
- Parent Hood: Trying to Stay Indie When Your Kids are Corporate Billboards

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week, he expresses frustration with his children being corporate branding machines

Help. My kids are corporate shills. It's making me crazy.

If you know me from my old days in the indie record store business, then you know I'm pretty feisty about supporting independent businesses (among other things). My store was a charter member of Local First Arizona. We were proud members of The Coalition of Independent Music Stores. I've called out sell-out artists like U2, Bob Dylan, and The Eagles. I've harassed every major record label on Earth. I've even openly challenged my own peer group. All in the name of maintaining independence and/or supporting the indies that do.

So don't think for one minute my darling children haven't heard plenty on the importance of shopping local. But so far I'm losing the war. I'm getting my ass kicked by shoe companies. I'm being invaded by corporate entertainment hacks. I'm watching my kids cozy up with one sleazy giant after another.

What's an indie dad to do?

See also
- - Parent Hood: Discussing Your Rowdy Past with Your Kids and a Punk Legend
- - Parent Hood: Don't Be Scared of the Future, Kid.

More »

Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly-rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he recalls some parenting advice he learned from punk legend John Doe.

Seattle. April, 2005. The scene is a conference celebrating the 10th anniversary of The Coalition of Independent Music Stores (I co-owned a record store called Hoodlums Music, and we were a proud member). I was working, but it sure didn't feel like it.

Conferences in the music industry aren't like other conferences. While most record labels (yes, both major and indie) are corporate weasels that have completely fucked up the music business over the past 20 years (don't let the media fool you), their ranks are full of completely cool individuals who know how to throw a party. First (and foremost), they bring artists. Second (and close behind), they bring lots of booze.

See Also:
- - Parent Hood: A Profanity Lesson with Grandma and Frank Zappa
- - Parent Hood: Teaching Kids to Embrace the Moment, Not Fear the Future.

More »

Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly-rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he tells his kids not to get too scared in our ever-fearful society.

Don't Be Scared, Kid.

It's not as if I liked scaring the hell out of my children when they were young. The idea is that I was looking out for them by instilling a healthy fear of potential danger as I helped them define this wild and wonderful reality from which they had sprung (and entered, it's a neat paradox). Not exactly a crazy parenting philosophy, right?

See also:
Parent Hood: Five Realities of Parenthood (for potential parents)
Parent Hood: Three Great Kid's Books with Phenomenal Messages.

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly-rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he enlightens would-be parents about what to actually expect.

What to Expect When You're Expecting... For Real

I wasn't really ready to have kids. Hell, I wasn't even ready to have a dog. The shortened version of each scenario, in successive calendar years (dog first), went like this: I said, "Let's wait. I don't think I'm ready"; She said, "You're never going to be ready... so let's do it."

So we did it.

See also:
- - Parent Hood: Three Cool Kids' Books with Important Messages
- - Parent Hood: Home Schooling with Help From The Daily Show

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Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly-rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he recommends three kids' books with phenomenal messages.

Christopher Robin Should Have Had It So Good

When it comes to children's books, my kids are lucky. They get the best. Our house is a veritable library of awesome creations from which to choose.

Why? Because of Teacher Beth, the matriarch of Wileysworld, and Aunt Katie, her sister and frequent Wileysworld visitor. You see, both of them have spent nearly their entire lives teaching and developing children in classrooms, in child study labs, and of course, in the home. When it comes to picking out great kid's books, they are both connoisseurs.

So over the years, I've read some pretty good stuff. I've seen some smokin' art too. For all you young pups that have kids on the way, here's three sweet children's books that The Parent Hood recommends, and the important lessons of each.

See also:
- Parenthood: Home Schooling My Kids with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show
- Parenthood: A Little League of Our Own: The Irony of a Rebellious Coach

More »

Steve Wiley is Jackalope Ranch's Parent Hood. He's a slightly unorthodox father of five who will weigh in weekly with his mildly-rebellious views and observations. If you'd like to see how he came to write this column, watch the intro video. This week he addresses the importance of critical thinking and watching The Daily Show with his kids.

Back when I was a kid, my mom used to tell me how everything worked. God was in charge, all powerful, not to be questioned. America was the greatest, partly because God loved us the most, not to be questioned. If something didn't make sense, I was told to trust that God had it all under control, and I wasn't meant to understand everything. I was to consider myself lucky that God had made me an American Christian.

Within this framework of God and country, I was taught a truckload of decent morals. There was an abundance of love, family, and friendship. We helped each other through lots of tricky times and tight spots. My mom, my grandma, and many others worked as hard as they could to build my mind. I had a happy youth.

See also:
- The Parent Hood: Baseball, Coaching My Kids, and A Little League of Our Own
- Steve Wiley Defends His Guilty Pleasure: Ancient Aliens

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