Everything Is Terrible! Will Explain Why Everything Is Terrible at FilmBar

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Courtesy of Everything is Terrible.
Puppets + Stand-Up Comedy + Clip Show = Everything Is Terrible? Maybe. Sometimes.
The self-proclaimed "psychedelic soldiers of the VHS realm" and all-around mad geniuses behind the found footage/puppeteering/live show extravaganza Everything Is Terrible! again is touring the country. While preaching the gospel of randomness, they're putting out two new film series -- one focusing on the dark and sometimes ridiculously closed-minded world of stand-up comedy, and the other focusing on the gentrification and commercialization of hip-hop.

While gearing up for their fourth Phoenix performance later this month, Jackalope Ranch chatted with Nic Maier, a.k.a Commodore Gilgamesh, about the upcoming show at FilmBar and just what exactly we can expect from that show. (SPOILER ALERT: The answer might be the unexpected.)


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NASA Rovers Draw Giant Penis on Mars; Program Claims It Was an Accident

Categories: Found Art

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http://www-robotics.jpl.nasa.gov/projects/MER.cfm?Project=1
A picture surfaced this week on NASA's flight projects site that caused quite a few laughs and high fives around the Web.

The photo is a view of trails left in 2003 by the Spirit and Opportunity rovers on the surface of Mars that, to the "surprise" of spokespeople at NASA, looks like a giant penis.

See also:
- NASA: Ancient Alien Life Could Have Lived on Mars
- NASA May Soon Announce New Manned Missions to the Moon

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St. Patrick's Day in Tempe: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Categories: Found Art

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Benjamin Leatherman
Three signs of a good St. Patrick's Day Party: Not wearing an obnoxious amount of green, having a pint in your hand, and looking great -- even if you're wasted.
The thousands who gathered at Tempe Beach Park to see Flogging Molly weren't the only ones celebrating Saint Patrick's Day in furious fashion along Mill Avenue on Sunday, March 17.

Bars and clubs like Fat Tuesday, The Handlebar, Canteen, Firehouse Tempe, and Robbie Fox's were packed to the rafters with college kids and cuties drinking green beer, wearing emerald colored clothing, and getting in plenty of fun on a school night.

We took a few fashionable notes and are back with conclusions. The Good is above, the Bad and the Ugly are after the jump, and the whole St. Patrick's Day slideshow is right here.



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We're Doomed: The First "Human-Like" Sex Doll's Virginity Is up for Auction -- Bid Currently Over $100,000 (NSFW)

Categories: Found Art

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http://www.bonecas.sexonico.com.br/bonecas/valentina/
Because nothing says "Let's celebrate International Women's Day" like a bidding war over a sex doll, we bring you Valentina.

Valentina is the brain child of SexĂ´nico, an online sex shop, and is the first sex doll to have "human-skin," plus "fleshy lips, full breasts, and a body that inspires envy in all women," according to SexĂ´nico's website.

Think that's creepy? Just wait for what the highest bidder is in for . . .

See also:
- 10 Most Bizarre Sex Toys (NSFW)
- Recycled Sex Toy Hoodies
- Love Psychic Claims Butthole Tattoos Are the Next "Big Thing" (NSFW)


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Spotted: Quick PHX, Our 2013 Pocket Guide to Downtown Phoenix

Categories: Found Art

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If you're headed out for a few shows, or if you're just looking for some pretty cool things to buy/see/eat/drink in downtown Phoenix we've got you covered.

Introducing Quick PHX.

You'll spot our paper guide on newsstands, counter tops, and coffee tables starting today and if you're lucky, throughout the year, as the info packed into our hand-held guide is enough to keep you busy for quite a while.

See also:
- A Peek at This Weekend's Melrose on 7th Avenue Street Fair and Car Show
- Downtown Phoenix's First Friday and Art Detour 25: An Illustrated Guide to March 1, 2, and 3


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Scientists Discover Sea Slug That Sheds Its Penis After Sex. Romantic.

Categories: Found Art, Geekery

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Sea slug, Chromodoris reticulata, discards its penis after sex and grows another Photo: Alamy
In the spirit of love and loss, we bring you the Chromodoris reticulata.

After studying the small slug that lives in warms waters in Southeast Asia, Japanese biologists recently concluded that the red and white animal loves with great force -- and then loses its penis before growing a new one.

"No other animal is known to repeatedly copulate using such 'disposable penes'," the Biologists write in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters. (Yeah, they wrote penes. Go ahead and giggle.)

See also:
- Pejazzling: A New Kind of Bling for Your Balls
- Whiskey Dick: Yep, It's Booze-Flavored Lube
- We're Doomed: Scientists Discover Genitalia-Headed Fish

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We're Doomed: iPad Gets a Toilet Paper Stand

Categories: Found Art

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http://www.amazon.com/CTA-Digital-Pedestal-Stand-Holder/dp/B00AQT653G/
For those who'd rather no sense of escape (or hygiene) in the bathroom, CTA Digital has great news.

Sure, we know you already text your BFF and call your mom while you're taking a leak (she's on mute, anyway), but with the iPad Pedestal Stand, there's no need to be ashamed of the shit that's coming out of either end.

See also:
- We're Doomed: AeroShot Energy Introduces Huff-able Caffeine
- We're Doomed: Love Psychic Claims Butthole Tattoos Are the Next "Big Thing" (NSFW)


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We're Doomed: Georgia Man Puts a Zombie Hunting Truck Up for Sale on eBay

Categories: Found Art

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http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Jeep-Comanche-Pioneer-/251220618693
If you're a prepper coasting through Georgia and have $3,000 to spare in the next week or so, give Killa Kadoogen a call.

The 1988 Jeep Comanche Pioneer is outfitted with a custom paint job, a few mini shovels, wooden bed racks, and was made, the owner says, for "Walking Dead fans, doomsday preppers, zombie slayers," and plenty of other perpetually single men around the country.

See also:
- Jackalope Ranch's Gift Guide for the End of the World Prepper
- Arizona Survivalist/Prepper Expo Returns This Weekend


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Happy Thanksgiving: What Are You Doing Here?

Categories: Found Art

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illustration by Claire Lawton
No really, we're happy you're here. We're actually eating turkey, tofurkey, or whatever the hell they're calling it ... and we're using a ton of the Thanksgiving tips our foodie sister blog, Chow Bella's been dishing out for the past week.


We thought we'd dish out a surprise of our own for our loyal readers who wanted to see something arts/culture-y today.

Consider the following a few Thanksgiving Day Easter eggs. Happy Thanksgiving (and seriously, stay away from the Turkey cake).

See also:
- A Very Chow Bella Thanksgiving: Your Guide to Dining Out, Ordering In, What to Cook, What to Drink -- and More -- on the Year's Biggest Food Day.

- Nine Thanksgiving Weekend Parties in Metro Phoenix
- 10 Dysfunctional Film Families That'll Make You Feel Better About Your Own

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LOVE IS ART: Creating a Painting is Now as Easy as Having Sex on a Canvas (Paint Included)

Categories: Found Art

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http://www.loveisartkit.com/
There's nothing that'll break the ice at your holiday quite like explaining how the art piece over the couch was made.

What LOVE IS ART founder Jeremy Brown calls "abstract expressionism" is your chance to get it on all over a canvas in a variety of colors, patterns, and positions, and then clearly display your skills for all to see.

Oh boy.

See also:
- Vajazzling: A New Kind of Bedazzled Box
- Pejazzling: A New Kind of Bling for Your Balls
- Recycled Sex Toy Hoodies


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