50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bro

basic-bro.jpg
Jhong Dizon via Flickr
Courting Disaster is Jackalope Ranch's weekly column of dating horror stories, observations, how-tos, and more by Katie Johnson. Names of ex-boyfriends, past hookups, and bad blind dates have been changed to protect the guilty.

Are you searching for a stand-out man but feeling like you end up dating the same generic brand of dude? Chances are, that guy's a basic bro, the work-hard-play-hard type fueled by protein powder and Daft Punk. While there's plenty to love and hate about both the basic bitch and the basic bro, we can all agree that these two deserve each other.

See also: 50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bitch

50. He has thousands of dollars worth of electronics (i.e., a flat-screen TV, Xbox, stereos) but no toilet paper.

49. His degree is most like in business or communications.

48. He loves rap songs about smoking weed.

47. He wears Axe Body Spray. Which is strange because no woman on Earth likes Axe Body Spray.

46. The only magazines he subscribes to are Sports Illustrated and Maxim.



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67 comments
Cher Oakley
Cher Oakley

It should be titled basic dick...not bro!!!!!

Joe Downs
Joe Downs

And yet they posted a "50 signs you're a basic bitch" post just a day ago I believe. I believe it was Franklin who said that it's better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Mathias Favente Deo Supero
Mathias Favente Deo Supero

A basic bitch, stole Katie Johnson's basic bro's boyfriend. So, she is going through a basic heartbreak and decided to attack the world in a very sexist non existent label.. Lol.... She just needs a hug from her basic bros ex boyfriend.. She writes this drinking Starbucks with vanilla vodka with sobbing tears thinking about the basic bitch who took her boyfriend away from her who wAs her basic bro... Everyone Katie johnson just needs a hug.... Katie johnson the writer is going through an epic identity crises now and all she has is lgbt friends. Send her some skittles it will comfort the sexist identity crises writer who lost her basic bro boyfriend to her basic bitch best-friend and all her lgbt friends are clapping to her broken heart to post this article..... Lol cheers, come meet my little friend. Lol

Manuel Palacios
Manuel Palacios

A basic bitch wrote THIS classic!!! Alejandro Estrada hahaha.

Mandie Johnston
Mandie Johnston

Suzannah Belle how many of these is our precious little brother?

Dave Montgomery
Dave Montgomery

More man hating articles from another liberal tweeb.

BizNasty
BizNasty

I love Pink Floyd, but I know who Syd Barrett is. So does that apply to me, if so, then still less than a handful apply to me.

FireDragon93
FireDragon93

Well a new article called " 50 signs you're dating Katie Johnson " is required on this site

1) she's a racist stereotypical bitch .

2) she needs to get laid .

3) she thinks rape,race,sucide jokes are funny.

4)

You guys complete

tornbassist21
tornbassist21

Yes I sport "KCCO". If being apart of a charitable community that spans the globe is being a "Basic" then color me basic as F@*K!

willyumv3
willyumv3

Sounds like this article was written by either A)  A metrosexual. B) A homesexual or C) A guy that never gets any girls so bashes on things that are common among guys.

cpmd17
cpmd17

the basic bro ACTUALLY went to college?!

Alex D
Alex D

God I thought the basic bitch list was funny.

Karen Savio
Karen Savio

And if you are dating a douche like this, run away screaming.

Heather Banks
Heather Banks

While the basic bitch is annoying, the basic bro is a fucking tool.

Jason Schenck
Jason Schenck

Ryan Oster Tom Leykis? hahaha. my degree is in business. i drink muscle milk when i dont work out. i love edm. this shit is hilarious lol

Ryan Oster
Ryan Oster

Yea Tiadora I can say yes to a ton of those. Jason what you think Lil bro peep?

Tiadora Pearson
Tiadora Pearson

I was making a mental check list of how much of these things are you Ryan Oster but sadly the term getting "shredded" on there so maybe that's a more evolved bro phase. Lol

Pauliejuanakraquer
Pauliejuanakraquer

..Another week, another crap article. Katie isn't getting any better at this. -Maybe put her on as Backpage editor?



Daniel Campuzano
Daniel Campuzano

HMMMM BASIC BRO HUH.... NAH MORE LIKE AWESOME PERSON WHO IS CHARITABLE AND LOVES TO DRINK LOL THANKS JELLY.

Pri Valenzuela
Pri Valenzuela

Peanut Daniel Campuzano haha #16 made me think of u! Lol

ninjalightning
ninjalightning

@UraHack haha ... maybe you should take over the column, your quips are more interesting!! sounds like she has some proper insight into the "basic" in both men and woman... i wonder how her friends like being exploited.. or is this a case of the outsider looking in?? 

whatamaroon
whatamaroon

are they paying this katie bim, or is she a no-cost intern?

UraHack
UraHack

@whatamaroon Try not to cut yourself reading any of her articles because she's edgy.

Felicita Glose
Felicita Glose

Why are women "bitches" the men "bro"? Shouldn't the men be "tool" or something more insulting?

Ana Narez
Ana Narez

Here's the male version Daniel Gonzalez

Tiffany Bonillas
Tiffany Bonillas

Enrique Carrillo Jr.. Good job love I couldn't find any that apply to you! Lol

David Quijano
David Quijano

Too tired to keep clicking the links #waronbros

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