50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bitch

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15. She believes that everything happens for a reason.

14. She has a wedding board on Pinterest. And she's not engaged.

13. She has engagement rings bookmarked on her Internet browser.

12. She loves romantic comedies, especially Katherine Heigl movies. She's just waiting for Katherine Heigl to make her comeback.

11. She loved The Hills. She loves Lauren Conrad.

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111 comments
OliveP
OliveP

I think the whole "basic bitch" concept was created by the hipster/"too cool for school" crowd. I think those bitches need a list:

1. Has at least one tattoo, if not a complete sleeve

2. College? No thanks. I am an entrepreneur.

3. Only shops at thrift stores - or, excuse me, "vintage" shops. 

4. Doesn't believe in marriage or even exclusive relationships (until, of course, her boyfriend finds someone else). 

5. Too cool for Starbucks. Only patrons local coffee shops where the air is permeated with smoke. 

6. Does not listen to any music from the last decade - or anything on a "top" chart out of principle. 

7.Describes herself as a "free spirit" or "unconventional"

8. She and/or all ex-boyfriends have drug problems.

9. Hatred will spew from her eyes and mouth when a woman mentions that she was in a sorority or has something called a social network.

10. She tries so much harder than anyone to be untrendy that she becomes the most basic of all bitches.

alellis09
alellis09

I don't like the term. Isn't there a nicer way to refer to this? 

Freja_Foxglove
Freja_Foxglove

Amusing. Though I think some of these are just chick things, instead of basic bitch. I mean vanilla typical white girl is one thing, but baking? lol. Pretty sure everyone needs to use an oven to cook sometimes. Still a funny list, and I'd agree with most of them.

ElizabethWulff
ElizabethWulff

LMAO! Basic = mainstream, guys. Those who are getting offended over these are most obviously basic bitches. They're even using the basic bitch quote "They're just jealous!" Exactly why would someone be jealous of what you like?

aah8224
aah8224

I agree with almost all of this. But what's wrong with lip gloss and baking? I'll never give up the cupcakes. If that makes me basic, I'll be basic with frosting on my lips.

ftugb
ftugb

I think the person who wrote this is the basic bitch.

mrmrsbryant07
mrmrsbryant07

Hahaha everyone's salty bc they're basic as shit

Lmfao
Lmfao

naaa this isn't basic stuff. This is white girl stuff.

FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

Being a megadork isn't bad. Why dating disasters? Also rape is never funny, and I'm saying this as a survivor. This looks like an attempt to get cookies with misogynist wankers. As someone who has dated a girl like this, "basic bitches" are no trouble and don't indulge in internalised misogyny to get hits. The dating disasters I've had have been with people who think rape is funny them make jokes about rape after I tell them that I've been assaulted in the past, and people who judge other people on arbitrary things like taste in shitty sitcoms and decor.

phoenixthomp
phoenixthomp

a stupid article is not worth being butt hurt about

astoldbyeva
astoldbyeva

I've read some poorly written  articles, but this shit takes the biscuit. Shops @ Victorias Secret, Mac Makeup, eating chicken, liking roses....seriously? Was this some really poorly executed joke that I simply did not grasp??


Also, breaking down your list into 5 item so your SEO guy can better track how and if people  digesting your content is a shit move. Do you really expect people to click through TEN pages of your terrible content? 


But really, ask your SEO guy how many people are actually clicking through the entire list. 


You're welcome. 

jessicaruthlessfatal
jessicaruthlessfatal

THIS is So DUMB! Lots of people like those things women and men. Doesn't make them basic. Humans are unique and different in their own ways. The brain and human behavior is very interesting, anyone who read a bit about psychology could tell you that. 

And why do we as a society need to call women bitches?

What makes women mean enough to label them all as bitches?

If someone has a profession in anything that could be one of these, like makeup, astrology, baking...or whatever else, you're basic.

Personally i think it sounds like some people are jealous of a girl or girls who happen to like majority of these things.

abc123
abc123

this is....some dumb, generic shit. according to this article, EVERYONE is a "basic bitch". 

hawaii_dandy
hawaii_dandy

This is the stupidest article. You, the author needs to work on your definitions... Shopping at MAC is anything but basic. Please... Seriously, go re-learn what basic really means. It seems you're too basic to know better though. Sad.

yawara
yawara

The worst is a Basic Bitch with princess syndrome who thinks she is super unique and deserves only the best.

Tawny Nicole Kerr
Tawny Nicole Kerr

When are we going to stop calling each other bitches? Come on. I don't care if this stuff on this list actually drives you insane when you see it in other people - honestly, I think if I see one more 'keep calm and ____' I am going to lose it - but I honestly could not care less if other people genuinely find that stuff entertaining and enjoyable because it has no impact on my life whatsoever. Gonna go bake some cupcakes, brb.

Lucia Mendez
Lucia Mendez

I'm pretty basic, not even made at ch'ya

alleycat27
alleycat27

This is just lazy and misogynistic girl on girl hate. I am more of an artsy fartsy person, but I had a sorority girl roommate who fulfilled most of these characteristics. While there were elements of the ridiculous about her, she was a kind, empathetic and loving person and I'm glad I lived with her. Yes, she made vision boards and wore Uggs way, way, way too much and owned celebrity signature perfume, but she was and is NICE. Much nicer than most bitter, catty hipster girls I know. Maybe being a "basic bitch" should just mean "being a shitty person who is selfish and mean." Being embarrassingly obsessed with Marilyn Monroe does not make you a bad person.

eddiej011
eddiej011

Jeeze, the outrage in these posts! Hit too close to home, bitches? It's just one little blog post -- not all NT does. Get over it. Dougherty's unemployed and Fenske's doing lists like this in LA now.

Arizona Luke
Arizona Luke

What's up with the PNT's 'War on Women' with this sexist, mean spirited, close-minded article?

Alanah Rose Fanning
Alanah Rose Fanning

Ha I know like 100s of these chicks . Doesn't mean they're bad people. They just truly love those things. Now excuse me while I go not give a fuck about this anymore .

Carina Orozco
Carina Orozco

I wear boots and cowboy hat! But I ride a horse :)

Lion El Hutz
Lion El Hutz

New Times thinks it's a Funny or Die reference. Oh, white people

Maddison Guerena
Maddison Guerena

You're a basic bitch if you own a Michael Kors Hamilton.

Afrotopia
Afrotopia

Looks like another case of white people stealing black slang. It didn't come from funny or die. It came from Basketball Wives, a show too "ratchet" for me to get into but the phrase became well liked within "the community." Enough the woman who made it popular began selling t-shirts with the term. In my mind, the expression has been out a few years now but hey it's great you found it. Though you misinterpreted and misaligned it.

I guess I should be happy though... According to your numbers/examples a basic bitch is a white woman.

I'd be offended if I were a white woman.

In the black world, a basic bitch is generally a woman who doesn't want anything out of life, glorifies ignorance, is crass/crude/vulgar, promiscuous, exerts confidence but lacks real self esteem, and likes negative things... Thinks they are cute, cool, or is shit 'real bitches like'. She's apt to say she will stand by her piece of sh*t man or her priorities are getting an it bag and designer shoes; new outfit; or her hair/nails done instead of paying her delinquent bills.. Like um, rent or utilities. You know having food.

But that's just us.

Dear white women, I'm sorry the author of this absurd post does not want you to be white nor women. While I do not condone blackface, you have our permission to wear darker foundation and hazel contacts to claim a biracial background.

Sincerely,

The Voice of Reason, Research, & Actually knowing what the hell I'm talking about w/o jumping on a trendy bandwagon of old ass hood jargon and simultaneously misinforming and insulting an entire ethnic background of women and telling their men to not respect them because I'm not saying it's better but at least when we call a chick a basic bitch it's because she's a person with a messed up character who loves her lack of knowledge.

Which kinda makes you....

Audra Usher
Audra Usher

Did the author really just imply that to have a sense of humor one should find suicide, rape, or bullying funny in #19?

Kate Crowley
Kate Crowley

it's supposed to be funny, and it is. ;)

Andrea DeAnn
Andrea DeAnn

So really...the ONLY Basic Bitch sign you need is if you read this looking for signs. LOL. ANYWAY who doesn't obsess over Disneyland? Or Starbucks...

Eric Les Lie
Eric Les Lie

we all basic bitches by this list. someone at new times is not happy with someone. hahaha

Rachel Prystie
Rachel Prystie

Our technology expands. Our vocabularies... Don't.

Rick Dupuis
Rick Dupuis

The first sign should be a pound of makeup on her face! LOL!

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Great list. I hope it's a wake up call for some of you.

Thisisjackadams
Thisisjackadams

@FFSinterbutts I was raped over and over. I think rape jokes are hilarious. Get off my nuts.

melissaped523
melissaped523

@abc123 actually I am female and the only thing I do on that list is wear lipgloss and I don't  know much about Nelson Mandela other than the fact that he is black, some sort of an activist, and he doesn't live in the U.S.

FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

@hawaii_dandy Seconding. Mac may not be as good as it was in the nineties, but a selection of their foundations, their eyeshadows, and lipsticks still have quality and a *wide* variety products. Urban decay, Too Faced and a whole lotta boutique and indie brands have better stuff depending on interest, but MAC is still a reliable all-rounder.

FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

I think the author is fishing for cookies with sad loser misogynists.

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