50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bitch

roses-bitch.jpg
Robert Couse-Baker via Flickr
20. She knows all about the zodiac. She checks her horoscope and she's already checked if you two will be compatible based on your sign.

19. Her sense of humor is almost nonexistent. Jokes about suicide, rape, bullying -- "It's never funny, you guys."

18. She would never use the actual terms referenced by "the P-word" or "the C-word."

17. Her favorite flowers are roses.

16. She would describe herself as "traditional," "classy," and "looking for my Prince Charming."

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101 comments
FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

Being a megadork isn't bad. Why dating disasters? Also rape is never funny, and I'm saying this as a survivor. This looks like an attempt to get cookies with misogynist wankers. As someone who has dated a girl like this, "basic bitches" are no trouble and don't indulge in internalised misogyny to get hits. The dating disasters I've had have been with people who think rape is funny them make jokes about rape after I tell them that I've been assaulted in the past, and people who judge other people on arbitrary things like taste in shitty sitcoms and decor.

phoenixthomp
phoenixthomp

a stupid article is not worth being butt hurt about

astoldbyeva
astoldbyeva

I've read some poorly written  articles, but this shit takes the biscuit. Shops @ Victorias Secret, Mac Makeup, eating chicken, liking roses....seriously? Was this some really poorly executed joke that I simply did not grasp??


Also, breaking down your list into 5 item so your SEO guy can better track how and if people  digesting your content is a shit move. Do you really expect people to click through TEN pages of your terrible content? 


But really, ask your SEO guy how many people are actually clicking through the entire list. 


You're welcome. 

jessicaruthlessfatal
jessicaruthlessfatal

THIS is So DUMB! Lots of people like those things women and men. Doesn't make them basic. Humans are unique and different in their own ways. The brain and human behavior is very interesting, anyone who read a bit about psychology could tell you that. 

And why do we as a society need to call women bitches?

What makes women mean enough to label them all as bitches?

If someone has a profession in anything that could be one of these, like makeup, astrology, baking...or whatever else, you're basic.

Personally i think it sounds like some people are jealous of a girl or girls who happen to like majority of these things.

abc123
abc123

this is....some dumb, generic shit. according to this article, EVERYONE is a "basic bitch". 

hawaii_dandy
hawaii_dandy

This is the stupidest article. You, the author needs to work on your definitions... Shopping at MAC is anything but basic. Please... Seriously, go re-learn what basic really means. It seems you're too basic to know better though. Sad.

yawara
yawara

The worst is a Basic Bitch with princess syndrome who thinks she is super unique and deserves only the best.

Tawny Nicole Kerr
Tawny Nicole Kerr

When are we going to stop calling each other bitches? Come on. I don't care if this stuff on this list actually drives you insane when you see it in other people - honestly, I think if I see one more 'keep calm and ____' I am going to lose it - but I honestly could not care less if other people genuinely find that stuff entertaining and enjoyable because it has no impact on my life whatsoever. Gonna go bake some cupcakes, brb.

Lucia Mendez
Lucia Mendez

I'm pretty basic, not even made at ch'ya

alleycat27
alleycat27

This is just lazy and misogynistic girl on girl hate. I am more of an artsy fartsy person, but I had a sorority girl roommate who fulfilled most of these characteristics. While there were elements of the ridiculous about her, she was a kind, empathetic and loving person and I'm glad I lived with her. Yes, she made vision boards and wore Uggs way, way, way too much and owned celebrity signature perfume, but she was and is NICE. Much nicer than most bitter, catty hipster girls I know. Maybe being a "basic bitch" should just mean "being a shitty person who is selfish and mean." Being embarrassingly obsessed with Marilyn Monroe does not make you a bad person.

eddiej011
eddiej011

Jeeze, the outrage in these posts! Hit too close to home, bitches? It's just one little blog post -- not all NT does. Get over it. Dougherty's unemployed and Fenske's doing lists like this in LA now.

Arizona Luke
Arizona Luke

What's up with the PNT's 'War on Women' with this sexist, mean spirited, close-minded article?

Alanah Rose Fanning
Alanah Rose Fanning

Ha I know like 100s of these chicks . Doesn't mean they're bad people. They just truly love those things. Now excuse me while I go not give a fuck about this anymore .

Carina Orozco
Carina Orozco

I wear boots and cowboy hat! But I ride a horse :)

Lion El Hutz
Lion El Hutz

New Times thinks it's a Funny or Die reference. Oh, white people

Maddison Guerena
Maddison Guerena

You're a basic bitch if you own a Michael Kors Hamilton.

Afrotopia
Afrotopia

Looks like another case of white people stealing black slang. It didn't come from funny or die. It came from Basketball Wives, a show too "ratchet" for me to get into but the phrase became well liked within "the community." Enough the woman who made it popular began selling t-shirts with the term. In my mind, the expression has been out a few years now but hey it's great you found it. Though you misinterpreted and misaligned it.

I guess I should be happy though... According to your numbers/examples a basic bitch is a white woman.

I'd be offended if I were a white woman.

In the black world, a basic bitch is generally a woman who doesn't want anything out of life, glorifies ignorance, is crass/crude/vulgar, promiscuous, exerts confidence but lacks real self esteem, and likes negative things... Thinks they are cute, cool, or is shit 'real bitches like'. She's apt to say she will stand by her piece of sh*t man or her priorities are getting an it bag and designer shoes; new outfit; or her hair/nails done instead of paying her delinquent bills.. Like um, rent or utilities. You know having food.

But that's just us.

Dear white women, I'm sorry the author of this absurd post does not want you to be white nor women. While I do not condone blackface, you have our permission to wear darker foundation and hazel contacts to claim a biracial background.

Sincerely,

The Voice of Reason, Research, & Actually knowing what the hell I'm talking about w/o jumping on a trendy bandwagon of old ass hood jargon and simultaneously misinforming and insulting an entire ethnic background of women and telling their men to not respect them because I'm not saying it's better but at least when we call a chick a basic bitch it's because she's a person with a messed up character who loves her lack of knowledge.

Which kinda makes you....

Audra Usher
Audra Usher

Did the author really just imply that to have a sense of humor one should find suicide, rape, or bullying funny in #19?

Kate Crowley
Kate Crowley

it's supposed to be funny, and it is. ;)

Andrea DeAnn
Andrea DeAnn

So really...the ONLY Basic Bitch sign you need is if you read this looking for signs. LOL. ANYWAY who doesn't obsess over Disneyland? Or Starbucks...

Eric Les Lie
Eric Les Lie

we all basic bitches by this list. someone at new times is not happy with someone. hahaha

Rachel Prystie
Rachel Prystie

Our technology expands. Our vocabularies... Don't.

Rick Dupuis
Rick Dupuis

The first sign should be a pound of makeup on her face! LOL!

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Great list. I hope it's a wake up call for some of you.

Christopher Reever
Christopher Reever

Kristen Ortiz hahaha what the fuck is this? I didn't read it but gotta love the title!

Katie Moritz
Katie Moritz

Tyler - Most of these don't apply to me!

Vincent Orleck
Vincent Orleck

Abigail HAHAHAHAHA BASIC! Sorry...saw this and immediately thought of you telling me what this meant way back.

fishingblues
fishingblues topcommenter

#1A:  She reads bullshit like this and feels the need to respond in defense of her superficiality.       

Marie Wales
Marie Wales

Apparently all woman are BB because I know me and all my friends can identify with one or two of these ;-)

FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

@hawaii_dandy Seconding. Mac may not be as good as it was in the nineties, but a selection of their foundations, their eyeshadows, and lipsticks still have quality and a *wide* variety products. Urban decay, Too Faced and a whole lotta boutique and indie brands have better stuff depending on interest, but MAC is still a reliable all-rounder.

FFSinterbutts
FFSinterbutts

I think the author is fishing for cookies with sad loser misogynists.

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