50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bitch

cosmo-bitch.jpg
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30. Her dating profile includes generic statements about how she "loves to laugh" or "loves to have fun."

29. She's not particularly religious -- but she's spiritual.

28. She drinks cosmos with girls, vodka soda when she's watching her weight, and chocolate martinis when she's feeling adventurous.

27. When she takes her girl trips to Las Vegas (and there will be plenty) you can expect lots of selfies, a shot of Britney in concert, and the hashtag #whathappensinvegas.

26. You'll also find lots of words in her apartment: framed photos that say "family" or "sisters" on it, throw pillows that say "peace" or "love," a piece of jewelry that says "dream" or "hope."


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167 comments
Katie Elizabeth
Katie Elizabeth

The author of this clearly has issues with women and has to be riddled with about 50 insecurities she has about HERSELF. My grandmother wears lipgloss for christs sake.

Dana Lee Blackwell
Dana Lee Blackwell

I'm 37 years old and also find this article poorly written and sexist, not to mention pandering for clicks. Lame.

Raymond Tucker
Raymond Tucker

Or just another AWG. Nothing wrong with that though.

Raymond Tucker
Raymond Tucker

At least it's not another article about Bikini Beans or whatever that place is called

Sisely Hatch
Sisely Hatch

47. She owns a cowboy hat, cowboy hats, or at the very least listens to Taylor Swift. LOL SO ME

Maci James
Maci James

\U0001f602\U0001f602\U0001f602 I think this was fucking great!! Jesse Niglio

Glenn Webber
Glenn Webber

Great. Now they need to edit the article to include #51.

Stephanie Abrigo
Stephanie Abrigo

I can't believe I read that entire article. Guess I'm a basic bitch.

Bryony Challoner
Bryony Challoner

Wow. I guess I'm boring as hell because I don't tell jokes that are racist or about rape and bullying. What a stupid article!

Angela Kay
Angela Kay

...or all the MANY people who have rejected them.

Angela Kay
Angela Kay

It sounds like [nothing more than] a embittered laundry list of ways a scorned lover characterizes their ex.

Sophia Tesch
Sophia Tesch

This is from April ....so old its got whiskers. LOL

Lorin Lavelle
Lorin Lavelle

Good job, New Times. You grabbed some rubbish fluff article from Buzzfeed and it bit you in the ass.

Charlene Hardin
Charlene Hardin

As someone married, over 30, with no resemblance to anything on that list, I still think it's obnoxious, sexist, and above all, unkind. Women should build each other up, and news flash, being a little cliche isn't the worst thing on earth. Being a judgemental meanie on the other hand...

Roxane Zamora
Roxane Zamora

I'm a doctor, not an ASU person and find this article sexist and disturbing.. No one should find humor in rape jokes.. New Times fail

Roxane Zamora
Roxane Zamora

Are you guys running out of stuff to write? This is the same thing as Wednesday.. Yawn.. This is just basic sexist bs and who ever thinks rape jokes are funny are highly disturbed..is this really who you want to market to? Sad day for you New Times

Sara Alexander
Sara Alexander

Sounds like every ASU girl. For all these women hating on this article cause their feelings got hurt, let me guess yr under 25 and the author hit a little to close for comfort.

Jennifer Crider Lavelle
Jennifer Crider Lavelle

Soooo- liking rape and bullying jokes is supposed to indicate a sense of humor? Call me proud to be humorless.

Kellie Fewell
Kellie Fewell

you know what's basic? a publication that posts eight hundred thousand "articles" (lists) exactly the same as this one every fucking week. ... ... i'm looking in your direction new times.

Kelly Coombs
Kelly Coombs

Well, the offensive headline caught my eye, but after reading the above comments I decided reading the article wasn't even worth my time or energy. However, I am unliking this page.

Antonio Maldonado
Antonio Maldonado

50 ? That's seems an awful lot of signs to have to go by. Why not just love the one you're with?!

Janet Margrave
Janet Margrave

Stupid article. Just another attempt to demean and diminish women.

Karen Tataryn-Savio
Karen Tataryn-Savio

I also buy makeup at MAC, wear colourful underwear, etc. Nice to know that makes me a "bitch". Also - what does the writer have against cupcakes??

Rusty Foley
Rusty Foley

Could you guys be just a littl more sexist? How about 10 signs the New Times has finally flushed it's credibility down the drain?

Esther Denise Sanchez
Esther Denise Sanchez

Uh... I just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this crap. To the writer of this article, if this was supposed to be funny and entertaining it most def was not. This article fucking sucked. I listen to tons of punk, am a big counter culture fan and total weirdo and even I do some of those things on that list. My friends would from far describe me as a "basic bitch" or "vanilla girl." I'm more like the spawn of satan. So, please, stop writing judge mental articles about women. Also, rape jokes will never be funny. Sorry, straight up, they're not. And one more thing? Not all women will fit into a one size fits all category. We are people with different tastes and likes. Please, get a reality check & write better articles.

Che'rie Deneen
Che'rie Deneen

...aside from the rape joke statement; that shows the sad state of the mentality in our culture today....and I'm not offended by the word bitch......I thought the list was humorous...fluff......but it seems these basic women are the ones who get dates...because they are bland....no real passion or fire to challenge anyone therefore less intimidating.......I am more like Fire...it's more interesting.......

Glen Gullikson
Glen Gullikson

If think the author lost a few boys to a "basic bitch" lol

Emmy McLeish
Emmy McLeish

I could not finish the list as this was boring but from what I read she seems like a nice girl so I recommend basic vanilla as the flavor to marry.

Karen Tataryn-Savio
Karen Tataryn-Savio

"Her sense of humour is almost nonexistent" because she doesn't find rape jokes funny? If you think rape jokes are funny, that's just tasteless and disgusting and you have no real sense of humour.

kathozer
kathozer

i called myself a basic bitch all the time when I got a B no matter a how much effort I put in school! Am I a basic bitch when I call myself a basic bitch?

terezib
terezib

someone please explain to me what all the above makes young women BITCHES? I don't see anything MEAN about 99% of what's listed. Shallow, yes, but a bitch? 

terezib
terezib

I don't get this at ALL. This sounds like every young white girl I know. Shallow, yes, that's how I'd describe them, but what about all the above makes them BITCHES?

lolag123
lolag123

I personally prefer an #acidicbitch

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