50 Signs You're Dating a Basic Bitch

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Shoshanah via Flickr
45. Her entire underwear collection comes from Victoria's Secret and Victoria's Secret PINK.

44. All her underwear comes in ridiculous colors.

43. She scrapbooks. And keeps almost everything: sorority shirts, tickets from your first concert together, a $2 teddy bear you won her at the state fair, everything.

42. She loves Zumba.

41. She thinks she can speak Spanish. But it's really just embarrassing.


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212 comments
Michelle Keller
Michelle Keller

I keep asking: wheres the investigative journalism? Seems like Arpaio scared the crap outta yu'all when your boys got arrested. Oh and by the way -- this may be true but insulting to women--you should've included 25 for vanilla bitches and 25 for vanilla bastards such as yourself--there's so much more real-life material. I also wonder why you never mentioned The Bachelor TV show--vanillas are always right there with tears streaming down their faces--perhaps it's a favorite show of yours?!?!?

Cher Oakley
Cher Oakley

John , she has another article "50 signs you are dating a Basic Bro" LOL

John Sockey
John Sockey

Katie Johnson seems pretty angry about something... or maybe she just figured out that writing an offensive article will get more attention than writing an informed article. I'm going to go with that, I think. Sounds about right.

Cher Oakley
Cher Oakley

#26 I guess you can't have friends or family or maybe you are a cancer survivor and someone or yourself bought a hope bracelet....fuck off New Times!!!!!

Cher Oakley
Cher Oakley

Seriously....this is an article with "basic bitch" in the title???? Wow....New Times you are just getting worse and worse....

Jessica Jackson
Jessica Jackson

Love how all these lists are aimed at telling women how they can appeal more to men. Go into your little cubicles, think hard about a story with actual substance, and write that. We aren't 60's housewives anymore New Times. We are making money and changing the world. We don't need your little guides on how to put ourselves in categories.

Nada Cox
Nada Cox

I think I'm done with this ridiculous excuse for a news agency.

Bridget George
Bridget George

G: I think this is a hipster article that hates women in general.

Laura Ory
Laura Ory

Dear Phoenix New Times, Less listicles please. More news features. Thanks!

Jb Wheezy Sp
Jb Wheezy Sp

I'm 3 out of 50... Love Audrey Hepburn, mac make up and colorful undies,

Kitten Feva
Kitten Feva

Shopping at mac means you have decent taste, I don't see why that would make anyone basic. Most girls like lipgloss. Umm yeah, let's hate on women who like to bake, everyone's mom is suddenly basic. Wtf is the p word? A lot of girls love Audrey, they're only basic b*tches if they've never actually seen one of her films. Crummy list 3

Aaron Wood
Aaron Wood

Someone got paid for this pile of crap?

Alison Heather
Alison Heather

Calling out rape jokes is not childish or threatening. learn the meanime of the words "childish" and "threatening" before you use them.

Gabrielle Best
Gabrielle Best

I have had personal experiences in the matter. I'd never joke about it. You know nothing about me and for you to threaten me in childish

Alison Heather
Alison Heather

If you think calling out misogyny, rape apologia is "trolling" then you have even bigger issues than being a rape apologist.

Stephanie Rodriguez
Stephanie Rodriguez

Stop running the same article over and over. Come up with new content.

Karen Savio
Karen Savio

You didn't piss off enough people the first time you posted this garbage?

Leslie Palomera
Leslie Palomera

I don't know how I feel about the title of this article, I'm not even going to waste my time to open it. #offensive Now, it might be a good time to unfollow.

D.j. Bobbsters
D.j. Bobbsters

This paper has become too desperate. They should be run out of town.

Alison Heather
Alison Heather

Gabrielle Best, assistant manager of Mattress Pro finds rape joke funny (#19). Let see what your boss has to say about that.

Panayiota Bertzikis
Panayiota Bertzikis

I stopped reading here: 19. Her sense of humor is almost nonexistent. Jokes about suicide, rape, bullying -- "It's never funny, you guys." If laughing about a felony crime that destroys lives is what it takes to not be "basic" then I guess I'm proud to be basic.

Yvonne Marshall
Yvonne Marshall

Who's running this page? Sounds like a bitter bitch!

Diane Angelskye
Diane Angelskye

I'm a classy basic Bitch! But this article hardly describe me\U0001f615 lol Chris Best

Lakeisha  Williams
Lakeisha Williams

Another old article given a little CPR and placed on life support for the purpose of filling space

Jessica Rowan
Jessica Rowan

Fortunately I found very few of these to be true. But c'mon, who doesn't secretly love at least one Taylor Swift song? Haha

ERandom
ERandom

I think this article is being taken waaay too seriously, also "Basic Bitch" pretty sure if you look at it the correct way you'll realize it means "Basic Woman/Girl", as for the word "Bitch" is mostly used to describe a female(well its mostly used via slang)

FireDragon93
FireDragon93

I am not american so I don't really have a lot of references on most of the stuff written up there, but when I finished this article I was really disappointed , I mean is your culture that superficial to judge people by the way they dress or that sadistic that you think rape and suicide jokes are supposed to be funny and you discriminate people who don't like them , then I read some of the comments and I was relieved I am not the only one who thought that was just out of line . You have a good thing here in America , you can express your opinion freely without being censured all the time which is a thing that most countries would die for ,but people like the author of this article are abusing this privilege and inciting crimes like rape or bad behaviors like racial discrimination . And I am sorry to say this but a legal action is required against an article like that and people like the author.

alvzguitargirl
alvzguitargirl

Shop from VS, MAC, or Starbucks and you’re basic. Shop from a department store and you’re white trash. Shop from somewhere less mainstream and you’re a hipster. So I’m just gonna buy my sh*t from wherever I darn well please. Most straight males don't care what brand of makeup you use anyway.

charlotte.wirtz12
charlotte.wirtz12

Jokes about race, suicide or rape, are never funny. Do we have to get a laugh by putting others down. Its not "basic" its called being a decent human being 

Katie Elizabeth
Katie Elizabeth

The author of this clearly has issues with women and has to be riddled with about 50 insecurities she has about HERSELF. My grandmother wears lipgloss for christs sake.

Dana Lee Blackwell
Dana Lee Blackwell

I'm 37 years old and also find this article poorly written and sexist, not to mention pandering for clicks. Lame.

Raymond Tucker
Raymond Tucker

Or just another AWG. Nothing wrong with that though.

Raymond Tucker
Raymond Tucker

At least it's not another article about Bikini Beans or whatever that place is called

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