The 10 Worst Pick-Up Lines Ever
Courting Disaster is Jackalope Ranch's weekly column of dating horror stories, observations, how-tos, and more by Katie Johnson. Names of ex-boyfriends, past hookups, and bad blind dates have been changed to protect the guilty.
Courtesy Flickr user: 1lenore
Look, I know picking up women isn't easy.
We're not exactly the warmest creatures right off the bat, and why should we be? As Louis C.K. points out, men are basically the number-one killer of women, right up there with heart disease and cancer. But that's not to say you don't have a chance, fellas. It just means you need to find that healthy gray area between breaking the ice and shattering our sense of security.
Forgoing all the pick-up line classics we learned in grade school -- like "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" and "I lost my number, can I have yours?" -- here are the 10 worst pick-up lines I've heard in my short 26 years of being treated like a piece of meat.
See also: 10 Things You Should Never Say After Sex
"Can I buy you a drink?"
Sure, you can buy me drink. Just don't be creepy about it. My dowry is worth more than a PBR, and free beverage does not mean free sex, free conversation, or even free eye contact.
"I want to drag you by your hair back to my man cave."
Wow. Prehistoric and rape-y. He must be the Geico caveman's sex offending cousin.