10 Phoenix Guys You've Probably Dated

Categories: Fun

Yellow_Sky_Photography.jpg
Yellow Sky Photography via Flickr
For being the sixth most populated city in the country, Phoenix can really start to feel like a small town. Especially if you're on the dating circuit.

Depending on your "scene" and the part of town you live in, you're sure to run into -- and probably date -- one of these 10 Phoenix guys.

See also: 10 Phoenix Ladies You've Probably Dated

douchebag-Jon-Rawlinson.jpg
Via Jon Rawlinson on Flickr
The Douchebag

This $30,000 millionaire easily can be found at the clubs or poolside bars in Old Town Scottsdale. He sports designer apparel, deep V-neck tees, and loves to name-drop all the places where he gets bottle service.

He claims to know a lot about real estate, yet he thinks anything outside Scottsdale is "ghetto." When he's not Instagramming photos of his abs or his car, he's reposting photos of the unattainable women he's never going to sleep with.


Location Info

Lux Coffeebar

4402 N. Central Ave., Phoenix, AZ

Category: General

Cartel Coffee Lab

225 W. University Drive, Tempe, AZ

Category: Restaurant


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90 comments
Steven August
Steven August

Tini, Wini, Droopy, Dopey, Flaccid and Puck.

Nigel Hirschi
Nigel Hirschi

And if you're a girl in phoenix you've fucked em all and the dickheads they hang out with. Seriously new times you're the worst

Davey Miller
Davey Miller

I lived in the valley, in Tucson for a little while

Pam Ela Hickey
Pam Ela Hickey

Satire folks. A form of comedy. Please lighten up.

Edward Anthony Green
Edward Anthony Green

SILENCE JONAH!!!! .....we don't talk with people born from Cünt, Elazığ, Turkey!!!! hehehe :P

Jonah Menzies
Jonah Menzies

combination of douche, dudebro, and sports fanboi -- the shit trifecta. LuLz

Muna Baclea-an
Muna Baclea-an

lmao! When I saw the first one I was like "Oh ness needs to read this" HAHA!

Edward Anthony Green
Edward Anthony Green

WHO THE HELL GIVES A FLYING FUCK???? HOW ABOUT SOME REAL NEWS??? .....for all of the pro Amnesty people, liberals and illegal alien supporters out there I have some news for you. Today Los Angeles voted with a single No vote to slice off 60 million tax payer dollars. this money will be used to provide Free health care and Dental to illegal aliens in the county.. now before you Chug the koolaid and join the bandwagon i want to make sure we are all clear on what this means... it means that illegals will get Free medical and Dental while you are Expected to pay for yours. and theirs. This is called a perk. now here is the Question... Why would they Ever want to become American When they Get such perks for Remaining illegal? tell me how much you you spend on medical and Dental Every month? WAKE THE HELL UP!!!

Cory Katz
Cory Katz

Jimmy Green every heard of photoshop? and it's not even a great shop at that.

Davey Miller
Davey Miller

if you look closer, you'll notice thats baby Carlos from Hangover photoshopped in lol #notadaddy

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Or. Is it because you live in Tucson. Lol.

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Yeah you do. Judging by your pic you may be a single dad. She hates you too. She don't want to be your baby sitter nor instant mom. Read the article.

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green

Another man bashing article written by a man hater. What a cun t.

magicmarker_pr
magicmarker_pr

You are all so butthurt because this humorous article and the other one about the women are frighteningly spot on about the creatures that roam the dating scene in Phoenix. You must embrace the fact that this city is a melting pot of trash.

I'm so excited about leaving this dumpster next year, because I'm DONE WITH IT.

Chad Gosar
Chad Gosar

Phoenix leads the nation in the first category.

Courtney Brittan
Courtney Brittan

I feel like there should be a Peter Pan one: mostly just plays video games, gets drunk and high every weekend, can't think about growing up and does nothing else.

Chuck Thursby
Chuck Thursby

Content aside, this article leads me to believe there are only white guys available to date in the Phoenix area...

Jukes
Jukes

Katie, You left out THE VICTIM.  He's the one who thinks "women just cannot take a fucking joke."  He's often unavailable for date-dates because of his court-dates where he's being sued for non-payment of child support.  But, but, but he got TRICKED into fathering that child — she was supposed to be responsible for the birth control!  And now she is trying to get him to support her ridiculous lifestyle choices!  It doesn't stop him from flirting but when he doesn't get the reaction he seeks he retaliates with, "You'd be a lot better looking if you'd just smile," and when that doesn't work he adds, "Oh, who cares, you're just a fat pig anyway" and peels off in the GMC Sierra he bought with the down-payment his Mom gave him.  And when he reads this he gets red in the face and thinks what I need is to "get laid."

Chuck Reynolds
Chuck Reynolds

and the sports fan is..... --> Clintus McGintus haha

Lucia Perry
Lucia Perry

You left out Stoner. How about gang bangers? I married a Phoenix refugee in CA.

Polly Wold
Polly Wold

How insightfully endemic! ( or is it endemically insightful?)

Alena Merenkova
Alena Merenkova

This is just as much trash as the version last week... and no one has mentioned that all these photographs picture only white men. How convenient.

Vince Garcia
Vince Garcia

the arizonaChick one is way more accurate and exclusive to here.

Sam Spiller
Sam Spiller

Every dude is reading this going, "Which one is me?"

impressedbywriters
impressedbywriters

Was this edited by a non English major or was it the original composer making all the boo-boos? If it was the latter, I have an addition: 11) The Wanna-be Journalist. He spends his time putting ice on bruises that remain from 9th grade hallway beatdowns and hiding his "PAYBACK LIST" in the pocket of his new catalog-ordered Kevlar vest. Nearly impressing pre-college baristas with his (pretty good) English and (near) command of punctuation, you'll find his nose buried in the nearest thesaurus, moving his lips as he reads silently, and memorizing the next 7 letter word he'll spring on his big date later at the book store.  :)    - Musician (and English Major) 

Danny Herschel
Danny Herschel

"10 types of guys not unique to phoenix whatsoever, that your confirmation bias reaffirms you've dated"

Jemster
Jemster

Edward...just shut up and go patrol the border or something. 

Jemster
Jemster

Jimmy...you do know there's a companion article about 10 Phoenix Girls You've Probably Dated, right? This is satire. Quit being so sensitive. 

timberly
timberly

@magicmarker_pr Whooooaaaaaaa.  Um, if you can't find someone worth your time in a city of 2.5+ million people, maybe dating just isn't something for you?

66rock
66rock topcommenter

@Jukes  Ha, I recognize that guy!  I dated a couple like him, years ago when I was single. 

dooly13
dooly13

A woman wrote this, you pathetic idiot! But why not REALLY put "him" down and call him "four eyes," 'cause, you know, writers wear glasses and all.

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