10 Phoenix Guys You've Probably Dated

Categories: Fun

Yellow_Sky_Photography.jpg
Yellow Sky Photography via Flickr
For being the sixth most populated city in the country, Phoenix can really start to feel like a small town. Especially if you're on the dating circuit.

Depending on your "scene" and the part of town you live in, you're sure to run into -- and probably date -- one of these 10 Phoenix guys.

See also: 10 Phoenix Ladies You've Probably Dated

douchebag-Jon-Rawlinson.jpg
Via Jon Rawlinson on Flickr
The Douchebag

This $30,000 millionaire easily can be found at the clubs or poolside bars in Old Town Scottsdale. He sports designer apparel, deep V-neck tees, and loves to name-drop all the places where he gets bottle service.

He claims to know a lot about real estate, yet he thinks anything outside Scottsdale is "ghetto." When he's not Instagramming photos of his abs or his car, he's reposting photos of the unattainable women he's never going to sleep with.


Location Info

Lux Coffeebar

4402 N. Central Ave., Phoenix, AZ

Category: General

Cartel Coffee Lab

225 W. University Drive, Tempe, AZ

Category: Restaurant

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63 comments
magicmarker_pr
magicmarker_pr

You are all so butthurt because this humorous article and the other one about the women are frighteningly spot on about the creatures that roam the dating scene in Phoenix. You must embrace the fact that this city is a melting pot of trash.

I'm so excited about leaving this dumpster next year, because I'm DONE WITH IT.

Chad Gosar
Chad Gosar

Phoenix leads the nation in the first category.

Courtney Brittan
Courtney Brittan

I feel like there should be a Peter Pan one: mostly just plays video games, gets drunk and high every weekend, can't think about growing up and does nothing else.

Chuck Thursby
Chuck Thursby

Content aside, this article leads me to believe there are only white guys available to date in the Phoenix area...

Jukes
Jukes

Katie, You left out THE VICTIM.  He's the one who thinks "women just cannot take a fucking joke."  He's often unavailable for date-dates because of his court-dates where he's being sued for non-payment of child support.  But, but, but he got TRICKED into fathering that child — she was supposed to be responsible for the birth control!  And now she is trying to get him to support her ridiculous lifestyle choices!  It doesn't stop him from flirting but when he doesn't get the reaction he seeks he retaliates with, "You'd be a lot better looking if you'd just smile," and when that doesn't work he adds, "Oh, who cares, you're just a fat pig anyway" and peels off in the GMC Sierra he bought with the down-payment his Mom gave him.  And when he reads this he gets red in the face and thinks what I need is to "get laid."

Chuck Reynolds
Chuck Reynolds

and the sports fan is..... --> Clintus McGintus haha

Lucia Perry
Lucia Perry

You left out Stoner. How about gang bangers? I married a Phoenix refugee in CA.

Polly Wold
Polly Wold

How insightfully endemic! ( or is it endemically insightful?)

Alena Merenkova
Alena Merenkova

This is just as much trash as the version last week... and no one has mentioned that all these photographs picture only white men. How convenient.

Vince Garcia
Vince Garcia

the arizonaChick one is way more accurate and exclusive to here.

Sam Spiller
Sam Spiller

Every dude is reading this going, "Which one is me?"

impressedbywriters
impressedbywriters

Was this edited by a non English major or was it the original composer making all the boo-boos? If it was the latter, I have an addition: 11) The Wanna-be Journalist. He spends his time putting ice on bruises that remain from 9th grade hallway beatdowns and hiding his "PAYBACK LIST" in the pocket of his new catalog-ordered Kevlar vest. Nearly impressing pre-college baristas with his (pretty good) English and (near) command of punctuation, you'll find his nose buried in the nearest thesaurus, moving his lips as he reads silently, and memorizing the next 7 letter word he'll spring on his big date later at the book store.  :)    - Musician (and English Major) 

Danny Herschel
Danny Herschel

"10 types of guys not unique to phoenix whatsoever, that your confirmation bias reaffirms you've dated"

Demetrius Gunnar Burns
Demetrius Gunnar Burns

the subliminal message here is that we've all dated white guys in Phoenix. And if you haven't, well, what's wrong with you?!?

dogbiter
dogbiter

Funny how positive these comments are compared to the guys' version. Very telling! Women just cannot take a fucking joke! This time, it's all about how right-on these characterizations are, because all women know how exploited they are by evil men. One comenter on the guys' side predicted it would be like this: women raising holy hell when they are categorized and then feeling that the reverse is just so funny and poignant, and not at all mean.

Cher Murphy
Cher Murphy

after a few short years here, this is completely spot on. thank you for making me laugh out loud.

John Gray
John Gray

Is it just me, or are they all WHITE???

Seraphim Peterson
Seraphim Peterson

i've gone on dates with most of these types... stayed away from the sports fan, the single dad, and the red neck. but they're (all 10) not my type haha

Stereolab
Stereolab

So, you've covered all the bases. That leaves who...nobody date-worthy? How about a post-modern meshing of four or five of the types? 

frankyfar
frankyfar

Katie, this is a lot better than Matt Hendley's trash article from a few days ago that was trying way to hard to be funny and witty.

Sarah Fine
Sarah Fine

Never too much truth Ian maybe google the article on Phoenix New Times

Sarah Fine
Sarah Fine

Thank you for this.. any additions ladies?

Tina Bee
Tina Bee

But there's only 9 dudes on that list.

mrsmodified
mrsmodified

"Gauge" is a unit of measurement. Not another term for ear love jewelry.

Sophie Corona
Sophie Corona

sad you forgot that stereotypical thinks hes a gangster/snap-back/jordan wearing guys! who couldn't quite get out of that "pretty boy" phase they went thru in high school!

timberly
timberly

@magicmarker_pr Whooooaaaaaaa.  Um, if you can't find someone worth your time in a city of 2.5+ million people, maybe dating just isn't something for you?

66rock
66rock topcommenter

@Jukes  Ha, I recognize that guy!  I dated a couple like him, years ago when I was single. 

dooly13
dooly13

A woman wrote this, you pathetic idiot! But why not REALLY put "him" down and call him "four eyes," 'cause, you know, writers wear glasses and all.

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