Here's Why Gender-Reveal Parties Are the Worst

Categories: Social Media

gendercover.jpg
Invitation to Mars/Etsy

Most everybody loves an excuse to attend a good party. But these days, there seems to be more and more invites to the self-absorbed and self-indulgent kind, which lack the aforementioned "good" part. Before you make it to your girlfriend's wedding you will have most likely attended her engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. Including the wedding that's three gifts expected plus the cost of attending the bachelorette party and paying for your friend, not to mention a total of four parties dedicated to "celebrating her."

Although the party and gift-giving traditions for weddings is a rant-worthy blog itself, we're actually here to discuss the latest trend in an even more annoying party category: the ones involving babies. In an effort to come up with yet another way to indulge one's narcissism and the need for attention, trend-abiding couples have started throwing gender reveal parties.

See also:
The Five Worst Wedding Trends on Pinterest
The Five Worst Pregnancy Trends on Pinterest

In case you have missed this obnoxious trend (if you have, you are a lucky bastard, although you probably have no friends, so maybe not), it's been around for a few years now. Thanks to Facebook, Pinterest, and Etsy, the idea for such a party was able to spread quickly, like a virus, and now it seems as if every pregnant woman is doing something gender-revealish, whether it's a party or a photo shoot.

gender_reveal_Etsy_3.jpg
vinyardvinyl/Etsy

It's hard to pick a starting point on where to begin in explaining our disdain for gender-reveal parties, but the name itself seems like a good one, in the fact that it's a complete misnomer. You are not revealing the gender of your baby; you are revealing the sex. So if you're going to throw one, then please at least refer to its proper name. You are having a sex-reveal party.

And another thing: Why do we have to go to a baby shower and a sex-reveal party for your baby? It's not even born yet and it gets two parties? More importantly, it gets two days' worth of our impossible-to-find free time? Hardly seems reasonable.

Baby showers are annoying enough with horrendous guess-the-melted-candy-bar-in-the-diaper-game, or the guess-the-size-of-the-baby-bump using toilet paper. The latter definitely won't upset your expectant friend with how ginormous you think she looks. Don't get us started on the oohing and aahing while she opens every single stupid onesie, sock, and bib and passes it around. Baby showers are the worst, and the only consolation in having to attend them lies in another trend: the co-ed baby shower. Make it an equal-opportunity torture party, we say.


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30 comments
durrtaypop
durrtaypop

I am SO glad you are not one of my friends.

Look, I agree on the oversharing thing--I'm constantly getting on one of my friends because she posts statuses about her Lady Time cramps. Cool, now your whole feed knows you're bleeding. Ew.

And I agree on the gift thing--but very few people expect/bring gifts to those parties, unless it is part of the shower. 

We had a reveal, and only invited a few close friends and family. But word got out and the guest list went from ~15, to 50--I was shocked that so many people wanted to know the sex of our baby, but also touched. However, I didn't get upset at all with those who didn't want to/weren't able to attend.  Maybe it helped that we didn't play any of the games you find so atrocious...just kept it to a simple cookout, with the cake reveal. We also supplied beer. Maybe that was the trick.

What I don't agree with, however, is that this trend falls into the "oversharing" category; the same goes for the pictures--which I find clever.  The fact you bash not only the parties, but the photos or scratch-off cards, tells me you don't just dislike taking some time to join your friends in their celebration: you probably have another issue entirely.  Whether that's jealousy, a dislike for babies/children, sadness that your friends will now be parents and perhaps less fun in your eyes, or just hating trends because they're trends, I don't know. But that's something you need to work on--not the rest of the world.

The parties are here to stay, or at least have a very long run--and I'm glad.  Even if you don't like kids, you can be excited for your friends' excitement, can't you? If not, I feel bad for you--and bad for your friends, who get judged so harshly just for inviting you to share in their joy.

Of course there ARE people out there who have these kinds of things just to get gifts or attention, but I think they're the minority.  And you are too, because almost everyone I know loves the trend.

Oh, also...I do agree, in principle, on the "sex reveal" versus "gender reveal." The terms are not interchangeable.  But "gender" has a less crass connotation, so it's here to stay too.

Bottom line, if you don't like it, don't go. I wouldn't want someone at my party who's mentally mocking the entire affair.

raredyamond
raredyamond

Wow wlll then don't go. If it bothers you so much.  Obviously you are single with no children!!!!!  I would go to an event to celebrate a happy ocassion whenever a friend or family  requested.  I just loathe people like you.  You must be very sad lonely and not have a freind in the world.  What's wrong with sharing in the happiness of others.  I just dont understand the disdain that you have for this event.  If you don't want to buy a gift then don't.  Trust me most people would rather you not buy one if you really don;t want too.  How dare you condemn someone else's happiness and joyful time. 

grumpycat
grumpycat

Darryle Royal, you are my new best friend. I freakin HAAAAATE these stupid excuses for people to gift-grub. 

astarspangledgrl
astarspangledgrl

Party pooper!!!  It isn't just about narcissism...it makes the whole family bond and most parents and family members wouldn't care if it was another excuse to celebrate their grandchild/niece/etc. 

TTBuggy
TTBuggy

What is wrong with this person?  It's not self-absorbed, self-indulgent or narcissistic to want to share a special moment, like finding out the sex of your child, with your loved ones.  After many many years of trying, my husband and I are finally expecting.  Our friends and family are excited and happy for us.  They want to be a part of this.  We want to know the sex ahead of time.  What's better...finding out in a doctor's office or cutting into a cake with your friends and family all there to celebrate the news with you?  This writer is bitter and sad.  If you don't want to go to a party, don't go.  But, don't bash the idea or trash talk people.  Obviously, he knows nothing about the joy or excitement many parents feel about having a child.  I feel sorry for anyone in this person's life.

nohemisb
nohemisb

LOL wow what a party pooper.

gloryvega85
gloryvega85

I get the feeling the person who wrote this is a very sad person & hates everyone that loves him/her. I feel sad bcuz you can't see others just be happy.

I get it though! It sucks to be invited to a wedding & every other event that comes before it. At the end of the day it's up to you how much your willing to give.

If you know anything about weddings you would know alot of times these event are thrown for the bride or better yet, they prefer a gift then, so on the day of the wedding they don't have to worry about "carrying" the gift out.

As for a gender party.... Have you been to one? Who pissed you off with an invite? Lol if you can't see past there happiness you got a huge problem! & who do you know will have a gender reveal party & a baby shower.... I'm sure u made this part up... Bcuz a gender party is a baby shower except the sex of the baby is the main topic.

I soon will be a mother of 3.... I will be planning a "gender reveal" party! Why?!

Bcuz my 1st born was born at 29weeks (3mons. early) & my 2nd born a week earlier. As a high risk pregnancy I NEVER got to share the joy of it... Just the lows...what the doctors have to say & with my second, they even told me to expect it not to be born! This time around no matter the outcome I plan on giving myself, & my family a loving experience.

I hope & pray that you learn to be more loving towards the joys of other ppl lives... & to learn how to not always think about what others think of you. I mean it's a big deal if you feel like you are "forced" to give a gift...I promise you this.... The next time you get an invite go without a gift or a card without $$$ and I promise no one will single you out....if they do... Remind them how you came to support & you should never be friends with anyone expecting you to do so much gift giving!

dirksb12
dirksb12

gen·derˈjendər/nounnoun: gender

  1. 1. the state of being male or female

Gracie
Gracie

You must be barren

Me2better
Me2better

Agree 100%.  I can't believe people are arguing that gender and sex are the same thing.  They are not.  And I mostly agree with the part about an intimate moment being publicised for your own narcissistic gain.  Can't anything stay personal anymore?

areib8317
areib8317

Wow, talk about being negative! First of all gender and sex mean the same thing. Secondly I've never been to a gender reveal party where you have to bring a gift. In actuality, the parents to be are the ones who host the party and provide beverages and food for YOU. If you don't want to go to a party to enjoy free food and beverages that's your problem. I feel sorry your friends, if you can call them that, invited you in the first place. Revealing the gender of a baby is an experience parents would like to share with their friends and family. It's a special time. I hope your friends realize your attitude and avoid inviting you to any future parties they may have.

tamberlynn_rose
tamberlynn_rose

Dang. For some who claims that everyone having one of these parties is narcissistic, u are pretty narcissistic yourself. 1) these parties are generally thrown by loved ones of the pregnant partners, not by the mother and father. 2) not all parties require you to bring and expensive gift. 3) most of these gender reveal and baby showers have alcohol for the attendees even though the mom can't drink herself. And lastlty, when you are bringing new life into the world, you can throw as many damn parties as you want. So, next time you are fortunate enough to be invited to a party like this, grab a cold one, sit down and STFU.

tamberlynn_rose
tamberlynn_rose

Jesus... youre talking about everyone who throws these parties as narcissistic and yet here u are being the biggest rain cloud I've ever seen. 1) most of these parries are thrown by loved ones of the parents to be. 2) not every party you go to mandates that you bring a big flashy present. 3) the woman who is making the baby, has all the right in the world to have a couple parties thrown for her and her baby. She is making new LIFE. So f* you. 4) most people enjoy going to parties, and most parties like this, even though the mom can't drink, there is plenty of alcohol for everyone else. So if you end up having to go to one of these "dreaded" parties, grab a cold one and stfu

shollyn
shollyn

LMBO!!! Who hurt you??? Everytime i get an opportunity to attend a "stupid party" to celebrate with my friends i will be more than happy to. You don't have to spend your free time going to these parties, i'm sure you will be happier spending your free time writing about the "stupid party ideas". Enjoy your freedom!

lsmom
lsmom

1.If you don't want to go then don't.

2.Just because it is a party doesn't mean you have to bring a gift.

3. Gender and sex are synonyms.

4. Celebrating someone else(the baby) is not narcissistic.

5. You are a party-pooper.

rk.rachel.king
rk.rachel.king

You sound bitter.  How sad to not want to find reasons to celebrate life.  We are not guaranteed a single day so why not enjoy it.  I bet someone has been a friend to you at some point and done something that wasn't super enjoyable but they did it with a great attitude.  Honestly, you sound just as self absorbed as you are making these partiers out to be. 

What do I know though? I planned a fun photo shoot for my husband, son and I to find out what we are having for baby #2, but it was mainly so I could see the look on our face and show our 2nd baby how excited we were that he is part of our life.  Sure there are a million different ways to show your love, but I choose to celebrate.  If for some reason I don't make it to see tomorrow I enjoyed today.  If my friends choose to come along for the ride then that is fine, but the ones that choose to sit this celebration out probably are not really a good friend anyway. 

Nicole1984
Nicole1984

You sound like an angry old man.

AWilliams714
AWilliams714

If you don't like it. Don't go. If you don't want to bring a gift, then don't.  I'm sure most of your friends wouldn't want you to come anyway bc you'd just talk about how lame everything was the whole time.  I have great friends that suggested I do this party and several people asking if they can come.  It would not hurt my feelings one bit if one of my friends thought it was lame and didn't want to come...I would just hope that they don't come so it doesn't ruin my time.

fishingblues
fishingblues topcommenter

What a relief.  I thought it was going to be some sort of "coming out" party.  Kind of like a gender bender bash or some such thing.  "I know I was born with this equipment, but I'm so enlightened, I know better than Mother Nature so I'm going to have a party and announce my enlightened change of mind and possibly even change of body parts."  

Thank God is was only about babies.   

julie.peterson1
julie.peterson1

A good party's better than a shower (or anything you're supposed to bring a gift to), but a shower can be fun if there's alcohol and the games are played properly. BTW, you don't have to bring a gift to a bachelorette party unless there wasn't a shower as well.

Jonathan McNamara
Jonathan McNamara

You must submit the party request to Andrew W.K. It should be noted that Mr. W.K. approves all party requests he receives.

durrtaypop
durrtaypop

@dirksb12 I disagree with just about everything in this piece, except the distinction of "gender" and "sex." "Gender" refers to the social constructs that come with a person's biological sex, and these ideas of "what women should be like" and "what men should be like" differs between cultures and evolves as times change.  Sex is what a person is biologically.  Gender can also refer to gender identity, which is what a person feels they are; most of us align our gender identities with our biological sex, but obviously that isn't the case for everyone.

Anyway...sorry to be "that guy," haha. I think it'd be silly to call them "sex reveal parties," I guess I just felt the need to point out the difference because I took so many Gender Women Studies courses in college and have met a lot of transpeople for whom gender and sex have very different meanings.

emilyjhma
emilyjhma

I can't have kids and I'm not angry and bitter like this dude

roloffn
roloffn

@Me2better I'm having a GENDER reveal party because there will be kids there, some just learning about the birds and bees. If I call it a SEX reveal party there will be some giggles. What's wrong with saying gender? Is it all of a sudden "politically incorrect" and "offensive" to some? If so, no one told me. Get over yourself.

Personal? You think people are being to open about their personal lives with this? Do you realise the people coming to this party might be the kids' future grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents. These people will know the gender regardless. If you post on facebook that your child just lost their virginity THAT'S sharing too much about a personal life, not telling grandma that it's gonna be a boy.

You think baby showers are narcissistic??? Birthdays are narcissistic, and they're suppose to be. Everyone deserves a little attention every now and then and to have people tell them they are appreciated. But baby showers are not about themselves. Baby showers are about a new life being brought into all of these peoples lives. The grandparents will have a new grandchild in their life. Is it narcissism for them to tell their friends about the new arrival? No, it's beautiful and life changing. This is a celebration about the future, not about one or two people. And if you're going to be offended by someone celebrating themselves, go write some stupid blog about how birthdays shouldn't exist either, at least that one would make sense if you throw the word "narcissism" in there.  

lanahd
lanahd

@areib8317  LOL gender and sex are not the same thing. What an indictment of the education system.

roloffn
roloffn

@lanahd @areib8317 Like I told the other guy, on a mission to say he is smarter than everyone else, WHO CARES?? It's not politically incorrect or offensive. It's just another way to say it. And I bet if you put up a banner saying it's a SEX reveal party the preteens attending the party will be in the background giggling, it's easier to say gender, and everyone knows what you're talking about anyway.

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