The 15 Best One-Liners of Louis C.K.

Categories: Comedy

11. The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself.

10. How many advantages can one person have? I'm a white man!

9. I'm buying a the airport...I arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right?. Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from you can say "Oh, I gotta eat. I need some food, because I might be trapped in the sky forever so I should eat right now." But I've landed. The trip is over. I'm 20 minutes from my house where I got bananas and apples and shit. And I'm sitting on my luggage just fuckin' eating a Cinnabon with a fork and knife.

8. Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

7. But my dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin!

Location Info


Celebrity Theatre

440 N. 32nd St., Phoenix, AZ

Category: Music

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

Phoenix Concert Tickets

From the Vault


Health & Beauty