The 15 Best One-Liners of Louis C.K.

Categories: Comedy

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For 20 years, stand-up comic Louis C.K. has shocked, offended, and connected with audiences around the globe. His vulgar material is nothing short of hilarious as the comic continues to stun fans with new knee-slapping routines.

After postponing his originally scheduled Phoenix visit in December, Louis C.K. decided to move the dates to early February with plans to film his next HBO special, which will be hosted at Celebrity Theater February 15 and 16. Here are a few of our favorite one-liners of Louis C.K.:

See also:
- The 13 Best One-Liners of William Shatner
- Tonight: Comedian Jackie Kashian Comes to Monkey Pants Bar in Tempe
- King Louis

15. There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

14. Every day starts, my eyes open, and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go "ugh...."

13. I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

12. A man will rip off your arm and throw it into a river, but he will leave you as a human being intact. He won't mess with who you are. Women are non-violent but they will shit inside of your heart.


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Celebrity Theatre

440 N. 32nd St., Phoenix, AZ

Category: Music

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